"But…"
"There is no 'but.' Thinking these drawings had stemmed from what happened to you was not only logical, but healthy. There's nothing you should've done differently."
She heard what Brett was saying and even acknowledged that it was probably true. It didn't change the fact that she’d been drawing these pictures for over two years and some of those women had been alive when Paige had drawn them.
She stepped a little closer to Brett and put her hands on his arms. "It's just hard. And I'm tired. And all this is… overwhelming."
His arm slipped around her and he pulled her against his chest. "I know. You just have to hang in there. Give yourself a chance to process it all.”
They walked the rest of the way out the front door to where Tom had parked on the curb and held the car door open. The darkness seemed even more oppressive. Paige shuddered again, even with Brett's arm wrapped protectively around her.
"Maybe I should come with you," he said, concern clear in his eyes as he looked at her. "You can't discount the trauma it does to a psyche to see this much violence when you're not accustomed to it."
As they stepped outside Paige wanted to brush his comment off. To make a light or witty statement that would take the look out of his eyes, the concern that she was pretty close to losing it.
And she was.
This blackness that seemed to surround them now was more than just night. Whatever anyone wanted to call it –the darkness before the dawn– it was ripping at her. Clawing at her mind.
"I just need sleep." It was the only sentence she could get out. She knew he needed to stay here. Needed to find out who that other woman was. Needed to do something besides cater to her psychotic episodes.
Her cowardice had already cost women their lives. The least she could do now was let him go do his job to stop the killer.
"Are you sure? I know Tom will take you straight home and you'll be safe but will you be okay?”
"Yes." The word came out as a croak and she knew she wouldn't fool him much longer. She kissed him on the cheek. She just needed to hold on a few seconds longer until she could get inside the car and fall apart on her own.
She slid into the backseat and gave her best smile to Brett.
"I'll be over as soon as I can. Just rest. Even if you can't sleep, just rest." He gave her a hard kiss on the lips and then pulled back closing the door.
She could hear him saying something to Tom but she didn't even try to listen. All she could do was hold onto herself, hold onto her sanity, as the blackness around her seemed to push against her further.
Tom didn't try to talk to her all the way back to the house, which was good because Paige wasn't sure she could get a sentence through her lips right now.
She saw his concerned gaze in the rearview mirror a few times, but she didn't even have it in her to try to give him a reassuring smile.
She just wanted to go home and sleep. She prayed sleep would not elude her tonight because she wasn't sure how she would cope if it did. She would even take a pill if she needed to.
She tried to pull some strength around her. To tell herself that she was capable of handling this. But with the darkness surrounding her so heavily on all sides she was finding it difficult to do so.
When they pulled up at the house Paige sat looking at it out the window. She didn't want to go inside. Didn't want to have to go through the darkness to get to the door.
She knew she was being unreasonable. She had full-time security here. There was no sadistic killer here. He was just inside her mind.
Still, she wished she had asked Brett to come with her. She wouldn't have even had to ask. She just wished she had agreed when he offered.
"Are you ready to go inside Miss Jeffries?" Tom was looking at her with concern from the rearview mirror again.
"Tom, can you just walk in with me? I know it's probably an insult to your professionalism to ask you to check the house one more time. But would you--"
"Absolutely. And it doesn't insult me in anyway. You pay us very well to make sure you feel secure. Whatever that means is what we'll do."
"I know you have to feel like I'm slipping off the wagon. Especially after how Jacob just talked about no one being after me."
Of course that had been before she knew she was connected to a killer.
"I do know exhaustion can play a factor in how secure someone feels. So don't be hard on yourself. See how you're feeling in a few hours after you get some sleep. I bet you'll feel much better and ready to handle it. Whatever it may be."
Tom helped her out of the car and ushered her into the house. She walked with him as he checked every room, every closet, under every bed.
Anywhere where the boogie man could hide.
"Guess this proves I'm pretty psychotic."
The older man shook his head kindly. "Not at all. It's always better to feel secure than to let your pride get you into a situation where your imagination can run away with you. I'll be right out in the guard house if you need me."
"Thank you, Tom. For everything."
"Detective Wagner updated me with some of the information. You can trust that we're going to be on full alert."
He nodded at her once more and then left.
Exhaustion flooded Paige. She was relieved to feel it.
She was home. She was secure. She was out of the oppressive darkness that seemed to be following her since she stepped out of the police station.
Tom was right. Brett was right. She needed sleep, to give her body and mind a chance to regroup. As she walked by the room with the easel, she felt relief that the box of pictures was gone. They were in Brett’s hands now, where good could finally be done. If these women couldn’t be saved, at least he could find justice for them.
The black hole painting, with all its shades of darkness, still sat on the easel. Paige took it down and turned it backwards facing the wall. She’d had enough darkness for one night.
She left the room and went into her bedroom. She kicked off her shoes and fell onto her bed fully clothed.
She fell asleep with the women’s names echoing over and over in her mind. Charlotte Winters, Heather Brown, Alexandra Dobbs, Teresa Cavasos…
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Thanks for coming with me.”
The next evening Paige looked much better. Obviously a night of rest had done her well. Brett wished he could’ve been there with her, but he and Alex had stayed to work the case.
Plus she wouldn’t have gotten as much sleep if he’d stayed.
“How often do you go into the gallery?”
She rolled her eyes. “If Hunter had his way, I would be there every single day. Shaking hands and kissing babies whenever people enter the studio. But most of the time he comes up to my house when we need to talk business. At least in the last couple of years.” She turned to stare out the window.
Hunter Barnes was one of the first people Brett had investigated and then cleared once he realized Paige was tied to the killer. Found documented proof that the man had been out of the country during the time of at least two of the murders.
Brett didn’t want her focused on her attacker. She’d had him in her head enough recently. “Hunter’s a good agent?”
She smiled. “He’d be the first one to tell you that we’ve grown together. I know my name has brought in some bigger clients for him, but he took a chance on me before my career took off, so a fair trade.”
And no matter how successful Paige became she wouldn’t break ties with Hunter, even if someone else might make her an international superstar. Because she was loyal.
“So are you just here to kiss babies and shake hands?”
“No. Evidently the 3D centerpiece at the show was very well received. Hunter has had some more made and wants to get my opinion on whether we should try to go live with them.”
“It was impressive.”
She shrugged a single shoulder. “I liked it, but I want to make sure it’s not too gimmicky.”
The gallery was relatively crowded even in the evening and Brett had to park down the block. As they strolled together on the sidewalk he could feel Paige become more and more tense.
"You doing okay?” He asked. "I'm sure Hunter wouldn't mind if you do this another time."
"No, I'm fine. I sometimes get the heebie-jeebies when I leave my house. You just have to ignore me."
He slipped an arm around her and pulled her close, kissing the side of her head. "Heebie-jeebies look good on you."
She rolled her eyes. "You better hope so, as often as I get them."
He had hoped the jokes might help distract her, but by the time they were inside the gallery tension radiated through her small body. Her face was already more pale than it had been just a few minutes ago.
"Let's go home," he said as the door closed behind them. The gallery had a couple dozen people in it. Being around them was just going to make her more stressed.
"No, we're already here."
Hunter saw them from across the room. "Paige, honey. There you are." He walked to her and kissed her on both cheeks. Then turn to Brett. "Officer Handsome. Good to see you again."
"Mr. Barnes." Brett held out his hand to shake the other man's.
"Hunter, please." He turned back to Paige. "You're not looking so good, sweetheart. Feeling all right?"
She gave him a smile, but it wasn't fooling anyone. "I'm fine."
Hunter linked his arm with hers. "Let me show you what we're thinking, and then you can get back home." They began walking towards the offices in the back.