they accepted the news, they had that same bitter resignation Meghann did.
Do you think you're dying, Meghann?
Startled, she looked up. It was very rare for her and Charles to speak to each
other telepathically… They usually preferred to keep their mortal ways with each
other.
"I don't know," she told him softly. "I… I guess I should start at the
beginning." She met his eyes again, and this time the embarrassment was stronger
in her eyes… and in the blush covering her cheeks. "I never told you everything
that happened between me and Simon after he killed Alcuin."
"I didn't want to embarrass you by prying," Charles said.
"I thank you for that, and I was hoping I'd never have to tell you. I wanted to
forget it happened. But now—"
Charles put an arm around her. "Meghann, I told you once before—it doesn't
matter what you did to stay alive. I think I know some of what's bothering you…
Don't forget I heard every word that fiend said to you when he thought I was
unconscious. What's eating you? Are you scared that you have… feelings for
him?"
Meghann gave a bitter laugh. "I have better things to worry about now. But as
far as that goes… I've had a lot of time to think about it. It did gnaw at me… the
fact that I told him I loved him, that I almost wanted to sever his bonds when he
was on the rack."
"That was only him using his power as your master to do his bidding—nothing
more. It's not like you're in love with him."
Meghann shrugged. "I wish that were true. But I think a part of me… the dark
part, maybe what he put there when he transformed me… part of me loves him.
Otherwise, he never would have gotten me to respond to him when we were alone.
And that was before he forced that potion down my throat. One thing he told
me… I see a side of him no one else does. That's probably true… He is not
tender to anyone else, just me."
"Is that enough for you?" Charles asked her.
"Of course not!" she replied quickly. "No, I had something far better with
Jimmy… Which is why the bastard is probably doing his best to warp Jimmy even
as we speak. What I was trying to tell you is that Alcuin was right… I can't resist
Simon when I'm alone with him. When you're there, when Jimmy was with me… I
could ignore that cord, or bond, or link, or whatever the hell it is that he uses to
bind me to him."
"I think it drives Lord Baldevar insane that you can ignore it all—that he'll never
have what he wants from you."
Meghann sighed. "You're wrong there… Simon got precisely what he wanted
from me. I told him I loved him… and I meant it. I think maybe that was very
important; it wouldn't have worked if I didn't feel I loved him, that I wanted to
belong to him in that moment."
"What wouldn't have worked? What did he do to you, Meghann?"
"After he gave me that potion, we made love."
"I guessed that."
"Did you also guess that he had me invoke the goddess while we made love?"
Charles felt something icy at the back of his neck—he shivered because he was
starting to understand what Meghann was driving at.
She saw his comprehension and nodded. "I brought the goddess into my
body… We performed the strongest form of love magic on Beltane… the night
for fertility." Meghann sighed again, and looked out at the black water with the
crashing surf. "I thought all Simon was after that night was my soul. I had no idea
he performed that rite to gain something far more tangible."
Beltane… lovemaking… invoking the goddess… Charles's eyes swept over his
friend's body. He prayed the dark suspicion he had was wrong. He started
babbling in fear and denial. "We'll rescue Jimmy, Meghann. We'll be safe from
Simon at Ballnamore and we'll do as I told you, find some way to develop our
strength until we're a fit match for—"
Meghann smiled sadly and put her hand over his mouth to stem the hysterical
promises. "I don't have time to develop my strength, Charles." She took one of
his icy, trembling hands and placed it on her stomach. "I'm pregnant."