"And what?"
"I don't know, get together, fall in love. The things you're supposed to do."
Tears flood my eyes, and I don't know if I'm angry, hurt, or just sad.
"I was already in love."
"A crush," he says, brushing it off. "That's... that's all I thought it was, and if I was gone, then you could move on."
My lower lip trembles, but he doesn't stop.
"But I couldn't get you off my mind, and I got fired from my first job. That's when Ryder found me. I was desperate not to come back, not to ruin your life, and he took advantage of that. Groomed me to be his right-hand man, taught me everything he knew. I was only working with him a year when he took me out into the desert and made me watch him shoot his last second, Abby. After that, I knew I couldn't come back and lead him to you."
That was why he stopped visiting?
He reaches out, touching my knee, and I suck in a breath.
"So I did what I had to. I survived, and I tried to find pleasure where I could, but you don't know how bad I wanted to just come home. I told them... I told them my family was all dead. I don't know if they believed me, but that's why I didn't stay after the funeral. It... it was why I didn't want you to live with me, but I just couldn't stand the thought of you being homeless and without anything," he says, his voice breaking.
"I agreed to take the fall for him because I thought it would be easier for all of us. Easier for me. I was selfish. I thought it would make it easier not to see you, but it didn't. Abby, every day since I left home," he says, leaning in, his hand touching my face and wiping away a tear I didn't know had fallen, "all I could think about was you. The way you make me feel."
My lip trembles, and his thumb traces along it.
"Axel told me I had to kill Ryder in order to rescue you, to get out of these charges. That was the deal, but when I got to the house, I couldn't do it. I was trying to figure something else out when Ryder came up behind me. He knocked me out, and the only reason he didn't shoot me was because he said I wasn't worthy of a quick death. That I wasn't half the man his old partner was."
Kaiden's breathing grows heavier, his voice turning husky.
"He tied me up, started cutting me. Said he was going to pull my guts out all slow like, but he must've still been on some powerful sedatives, because his knots were sloppy and I was able to get out and kill him before he got that far."
He licks his lips, his tongue ring glinting and teasing me for a second.
"Axel said he'd let you and me go, scot-free, but Abby, these aren't the people that let things go. This will always be over my head. Always."
I look at him, tears blurring my vision.
"I don't care," I whimper, and he leans in, his hand still caressing my face tenderly. "I don't care about any of that, I just want you! I've always wanted you!"
He shakes his head, and he sounds so sad.
"Abby, I'm not the man you deserve. I can never be your hero, not after what I've done. Not after the things I've had to do."
But I lean in, and I do the thing that I should've done all those years ago.
I kiss him.
Salty tears are shared between us, but I don't care. I can't resist him anymore, I can't deny my feelings and what I want. I tried, and he tried, and we both ended up miserable and shattered fragments of ourselves.
He holds me to him, his hand lacing into my hair as he kisses me with such urgency and passion.
"I should have kissed you that day," he murmurs as we pull apart, his green eyes locked on mine. "I should've just given in. We're no good apart, Princess. Well, I mean, you've done great, but I'm not great apart from you," he says, and I can't help but let out a laugh.
The sun has disappeared, leaving behind a surreal glint to the world as the stars begin to flicker into the night sky, the moon burning bright.
"I can't... I can't handle this alone, Abby. I can't be the man I want to be without you by my side," he says, and he shifts, reaching for something behind him that I hadn't noticed before. It's a small little velvet bag, and he hands it to me.
"Abigail, I know people won't understand us. I know people won't get why we were or how, and they might think we're... sick freaks for what we feel. But I know you don't care, and I don't care. I can't keep you safe if I don't know where you are, and I... There's no light or joy in my life without you, Princess."
I open the little bag and gasp.
A ring?
I pull it out, staring at him with my mouth dropped open. The diamond is round and huge, a classic shape.
"This... is my mom's first wedding ring," he admits, licking his beautiful lips nervously. "She put it in storage once she married your dad, but she could never give it away. For all my mom and your dad had, he was her first love, and it meant a lot to her. I think it's only suiting that I give it to you," he says before shifting.