Tears blur my vision as he stares down at me.
"I can't change what I did, Abby. What I had to do to get you back."
"Stop," I plead with him. I don't want him to say anymore.
This is supposed to be our happy ending. This is supposed to be our happily ever after.
He presses his lips to my forehead, brushing some of my hair from it so tenderly. He inhales, and I tremble against him, trying not to cry. Not to let him see me lose myself.
But this can't be the end!
"He's dead, Abby. I killed him, so that you can live. But that wasn't your choice," he says as if he instinctively knows I'd blame myself. Maybe he does.
"I didn't want to, but I had to, but no matter what Axel says, I'll never be free of my past. Not totally. But you can be," he says, his index finger curling under my jaw, making me look up at him.
"I don't care!" I cry out, thrusting myself into him and making him cringe in agony. "I don't care, I just want you!"
But he kisses me again and shakes his head, and my whole world comes crashing down upon me. He's resolute, and I hate him so much at this moment.
He's supposed to protect me, to be the one that will always be here for me, and now he's leaving me again?
"Princess, I need you gone by the time I come back out. They're going to be watching me," he says before he presses his lips to mine, quieting another sob from escaping.
How am I supposed to just leave? To let him walk away from what we have?
My chest heaves, and my knees feel like they're going to buckle and let me fall, but Kaiden lets me go, and somehow I manage to stay on my feet. He grabs the backpack that was stuffed in the saddle, handing it to me.
"I got your laptop and some of your clothes and things. It's not much, but it's not safe to go back there, ever. Do you understand? You have to stay as far from that place as you can, and once you get that money from the bank tomorrow, never come back here either. Start fresh, somewhere where they can never find you again."
I can barely make sense of his words even, but I'm too exhausted to fight him anymore. He's made up his mind.
He's decided for the both of us what I'm to do.
He kisses my forehead again.
"Go to college, Abby. Make a life for yourself. Make me proud, okay? You always said I was your hero, but you've always been mine, Princess. Please... Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
I don't. I can't. I'm too dazed, too sad and disappointed and deflated to do anything more than drag myself to my car, chucking my bag in the passenger seat and slumping down.
If he doesn't want me here, then there's no reason for me to stay.
As he makes his way into the pharmacy, his shoulders are slumped, and I watch my step-brother turn his back and leave me once more.
All I can do is cry. Big, ugly tears, my skin still holding the imprints and sensations of where and how he touched me. The things he did to me. The things I wanted him to do to me.
And now it's all over.
Five days. It's been five days since I last saw Kaiden, since he walked out of my life. I'm now richer than I could have ever hoped, but it's all hollow, because there's nothing I want.
I've had to drive around listlessly for a long time, not sure what to do or where to go. I've had to avoid everything and everyone I ever knew, and I don't have anyone left.
No family, no friends, no Kaiden.
The money sits in my glove box and beneath the seats, taunting me, teasing me about all the things I can't use it for, but it doesn't matter. The fog of depression weighs heavy on my shoulders, and I just don't care about anything anymore.
On the fourth day, I found myself driving through the same town I'd been arrested in, and thought back to Sarah. About the fact that she'd three times been arrested for prostitution, and I knew they wouldn't come down easy on her.
So I set up an anonymous way of paying a lawyer that came highly recommended on backpage by other escorts, and asked him to help her out. I figured if there's anything that the money could do, helping a person in need might at least make me feel a bit better, but it didn't.
Instead, I feel just as hollow as I did before.
I make my way north, past all the familiar landmarks, all the memories of family vacations, and all my time with Kaiden. He was like a rollercoaster, bringing me to such highs and lows, but after the ride is over, you're always disappointed by how short the whole thing was.
He's always going to abandon me. I know that now. That when things get rough, he's going to run, and he's always going to do it his own way.
I don't know how I feel about that, but it gives me a small bit of comfort to know that this is just how it will be and that it's nothing I did wrong.
I'm just destined to be alone.
The highway stretches out before me, and for hours, I keep going through the vast nothingness until a sign catches my attention. San Francisco is up ahead, not one hundred miles away. I've never been there, not even for a visit. My parents always hated the big cities and preferred camping to driving on the busy streets.