“Of course!” I tell Ryder, hoping that my smile is audible. “When should I come over?”
“Tonight, seven o’clock. Come dressed to work; if we like you, you start tonight.”
“Absolutely, I’ll be there. Thank you so much, Ryder.”
He doesn’t reply, and then there’s nothing but the emptiness of a hang-up. My stomach is in knots. I look at my phone. It’s already three in the afternoon, and I don’t have any clothes that scream shot-girl. Everything I have is, well, proper. Prim. And at the bar that Kaiden frequents? Prim isn’t going to cut it.
That, in and of itself, is bad enough. But I just have to get over my prudishness for a little while. A couple of months of work, and I should have enough saved up to get out of this place and be somewhere more comfortable. I’ll find a nice roommate in a big city, a better job...
It’s all a stepping stone.
I grab my keys and head for the door. I have to get to a mall.
***
I’m strapped for cash. That is the nice way of saying it.
At my last job, I’d managed to save a whopping $127.83. I’d begged Kaiden to let me off with rent until I found a new job, but he’s getting impatient.
After gas and expenses, I have only $89.26 to my name, and I have to make it count. I need this job like I’d never needed anything else, and all my moral quarrels are going to have to be pushed to the side for the moment. I walk into the trashy little strip mall, into a used clothing store. That disgusts me too. It isn’t that I’m prissy, I swear, even if Kaiden won’t stop calling me Princess. But my dad had always been closer to the upper side of middle class.
We had a nice house and a nice car, and more debt than I could’ve ever figured. The bank foreclosed on the house even as I desperately tried to pay the inflated mortgage, but I managed to keep the car.
At least there’s that because it gets good mileage and is big enough that I was able to sleep in it those few days when things got really dark.
I flick through the racks, looking for something that will make me stand out. I know that looking like a suburban cheerleader isn’t going to work in my favor unless I look a little, well, maybe “trashy” is an ugly word, but...
My hands fall on a scarlet tank top that looks like it’ll barely cover my chest, and I pause. It’s only $4.
I toss it in the cart, along with a couple other choices, followed by more miniskirts than I’ve ever owned, before moving towards the shoes.
If I’m going to be standing, I know I’d have to dress practically, but the white sneakers that draw my eyes just aren’t going to cut it.
Since I went to a school that had a uniform, I don’t have a lot of options for sexy shoes.
I roam along the shoe aisle, but there’s nothing. Worn flip-flops, brown shoes that look too out-of-fashion for even a senior to wear, and some scuffed-up pumps that look like their heels are hanging on by threads.
Old shoes skeeve me out at the best of times, but seeing the sad selection before me is a miserable disappointment. Shoes are already so expensive, and I don’t want to spend all of my meagre budget on it.
But what options do I have? I need them.
I sigh and make my way towards the changing rooms, quickly trying on the clothes. Over half are discarded as being either too baggy or not sexy enough. But the scarlet tank top and a couple of the miniskirts are perfect, and I feel a bit better about it all. At least this way I save some money on the clothes.
I’m about to head to the checkout when something catches my eye. I move over towards the furniture section, and for a moment, all I can do is stare.
There is the exact dresser I had as a kid. I can’t believe it. I mean, I’m sure it isn’t the exact one, but it looks just like it. My fingers run along the top of the white painted wood, feeling it with a sense of melancholic joy.
Along with the house, all of my possessions went with it—anything I couldn’t take with me in the car. I couldn’t even afford storage, and my dad and step-mom never really had any family they were close to.
I miss mom and dad. There’s no denying that. I’ve just been struggling to stay afloat, and every reminder of them gives me a sharp pain in my chest. All I want to do is curl up in my bed, but ever since they passed, it’s just been disaster after disaster. I haven’t even had a moment to mourn them, and Kaiden… I guess he’s doing the guy thing. Pretending it doesn’t affect him.
But I can see it in his eyes, that shadow. He misses them too.
I smile a little, just at the familiarity of an object that reminds me of happier times. Of when they were still alive, and we were still a family.
I idly open the top drawer to find that there must have been someone who had stowed away some finds that they couldn’t afford. A bundle of clothes.