“What?” My demand was breathless as I stared up at him in surprise.
He offered a sad smile. “When I left your room that night, I had every intention of coming back. Christ, my hands were shaking like a fucking teenager’s,” he added ruefully. “But when I got away from your gorgeous smell and your taste, I was flooded with this overwhelming reminder about how much was at stake.” He shook his head. “Sam, next to Caden, you’re my best friend. I work for your brother, for Christ's sake, and my job is dangerous. I started to freak about all the risks. Not to mention all the shit in my head from the war. It was the ultimate irony that my dog tags were right next to the condom box.” He chuckled darkly before raising his haunted eyes to mine. “I have so much darkness inside me. I’ve seen terrible fucked-up things. I felt like a deer in headlights when you came in with your lips all swollen from my mouth. Your skin had that gorgeous blush. I was terrified that if we went any further, it’d destroy what we have forever.”
I simply stared at him, unsure what to say, completely flabbergasted by this turn of events.
“Then you moved out and I went overseas. All those months away, Sam. It just reinforced what I feel for you—what I’ve felt for a long time. It’s irrevocable. It was like fighting against a current.” His eyes were bright with intensity as he continued. “I’m done fighting it. I’m done fighting you. I want you, Sam. I’ve always wanted you.”
The room was so silent I could hear Trixie’s tiny claws clacking on the hardwood in the next room.
I didn’t think I’d ever been stunned into silence before. “I—um,” I stammered. “I don’t know what to say. I’m just in such a weird place right now. I feel like this isn’t real or something,” I admitted.
He nodded. “I get it, and I’ll give you your space for tonight, but first I need you to hear this. All those risks—everything clouding my mind that night—it’s gone. Hell, it was gone the minute I had a second to breathe. You’re mine. Mine. When you wouldn’t let me comfort you after what happened the other night, it just about gutted me. Never again.” He shook his head. “I never want you to feel that way again, and I’m willing to do whatever I need to in order for you to see that clearly. There will be an us—the timing of that is up to you.”
With that, he left me standing shell shocked, with my T-shirt still covering my breasts.
The man knew how to make an exit, that was for sure.
****
When I woke up the next morning, it was easy to believe it had all been a dream. That Sid wasn’t actually there. Then I heard the telltale sounds of breakfast being made, and my dream state went to shit.
I bolted upright, my hand going to my bedraggled hair as Trixie came burrowing out from underneath the covers. It took me a few minutes to feel brave enough to face the proverbial music.
Had I known what would greet me, I would have needed a few more hours.
Sid was shirtless, dressed only in sweatpants that hung low on his hips as he stood at the stove making eggs.
He turned, shooting a panty-melting smile in my direction. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I nodded, accepting the coffee he handed me. “Thanks.”
“What’s on for today?” he asked absently.
“I have a meeting with a label in Hollywood,” I explained. “Thank God most of my bruising has healed.”
Autumn’s label had called, wanting a meeting to discuss future projects. Come hell or high water, I wasn’t going to miss it.
“Okay, what time?”
I eyed him speculatively. “Aren’t you switching shifts or something? You spent all night here.”
He offered an indulgent smile. “Sam—when I said I was your detail, I meant 24-7.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “Sid, that’s ridiculous. You have shit to do. A life.”
“Figured I’d have to force things a bit,” he muttered to himself. “Do you want cheese on your eggs?”
“Hold on, force what?” I replied.
He ran a hand over the top of his head. “I know I said I’d be patient. And I will, in terms of you figuring out that I’m serious about us,” he explained. “But with your safety, Sam, I’m not sitting back from that another day, and I’ll fight you tooth and nail on it if I have to.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded.
“I don’t want you staying up here with anyone but me. Having one of our guys parked out on the street is one thing, having someone staying with you is another, and that someone has to be me. There just isn’t another outcome I’ll accept.”