Crais(42)

Her usage of Josian’s endearment had the tears I’d been holding at bay pouring free. It wasn’t a slow trickle but a hot gushing force that immediately obscured my vision. A sob burst from me, followed by another, until I couldn’t breathe between gasps.

“It hurts so much, Mom.” I labored over the words as Lallielle held me tight. “If I don’t hold on to my numbness I’ll never survive. I can barely breathe.”

Somewhere, deep down, I felt like a drama queen. In my old life on Earth I’d never loved anyone but Lucy. I wasn’t accustomed to strong emotions. Now, though, I had more people to love than I’d ever thought possible. And with that came the capacity to have more pain than any one person could deal with.

“You’re strong. The way you survive and keep moving forward is something to be admired. I remember with perfect clarity how it felt when Josian left me. I didn’t think I could continue with that pain. It took all my strength just to get through each day and take care of Sam ... Sammy.” This time she stumbled over his name.

Bastard should be beaten to a pulp for hurting our soft-hearted mother. I silently promised myself that I’d find him one day. This burst of anger worked to dry the tears; I reached out and squeezed Lallielle’s hand tightly.

“You’re a true survivor, Mom. I don’t get my strength from Dad alone.”

Her smile was wobbly. “So for now we push sorrow aside. It’s time to return home, to First World.” She pulled me to my feet.

I paused, opening my mouth to tell Lallielle about the Bracentine’s offer. I couldn’t keep it inside any longer. I needed to hear someone’s thoughts and maybe assuage some of my personal guilt, but before I could speak Lucy interrupted us.

“Hey, Jos said the doorway is open and the Reds have gone through with our things. He sent me to get you.” She looked between us, before focusing on my tear-stained features. “Are you okay, Abbs?” She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around me. “It’s going to be alright. I have a feeling that everything with you and Brace will be resolved soon.” She spoke intuitively and I wondered if she’d seen something.

I returned her hug, knowing I could not live in a world without Lucy. She kept me grounded and made sure there were still flickers of light in all the darkness.

“Testing out your soothsayer powers, Luce?” I teased.

We were moving again, following Lallielle, who would know exactly where Josian was.

“Don’t knock it. As long as I don’t have to rock the creepiness and white eyes, I’d love to have a useful ability.”

“I do hope Frannie is there when we return.” Lallielle spoke over her shoulder. “I’m worried about that crazy woman.”

“Yes, she has a lot to answer for,” I said quietly enough that only Lucy heard.



As I stood with Lucy and Talina within the pale pink walls of my room, I felt a sense of home and heartache. I couldn’t look at my bed without memories trying to strangle me. All of the nights spent with Brace.

“When do we head to the mountains?” Talina asked quietly.

She looked tired and her emerald hair was frizzing, which only happened when she needed water.

“Go,” I said, giving her a gentle shove toward the exit, “recharge in your ocean home. I promise we’ll wait for you.”

A joyful smile crossed her pale pink features as she bounced out of my room. From my balcony I breathed deeply of the clear salty air, a light breeze ruffling my curls.

“Imagine if the Crais people had a chance to see the ocean,” Lucy said as she leaned over my railing.

“I wish there was something we could do to help them.” I hated to see suffering, but at least the tribespeople hadn’t resorted to the sort of chaos and violence that now ruled Earth.

“Maybe after we save the worlds, we can try to improve their lives. Let’s focus on one thing at a time,” Lucy said drily.

I laughed. “Word. I guess that should be pretty high on our priorities’ list.”

We both waved at Talina as she dashed across the green grass. She shed her clothes and within moments disappeared into the aqua waters. Her laughter echoed back to us, bringing my first genuine smile in a while.

“So Fury is kind of a bitch. What’s with that?”

I laughed at the bluntness of Lucy’s words. It was nice to have something return to normal.

“Yeah, she seems to have plenty of issues.”

“And Dune. Wow. He is kind of intense and hot and crazy and hot ...” She paused. “Really, really hot.”

“Are you speaking literally, you know, being from the burning planet or just his looks?”