Cowboy Up(91)

“Don’t you Linney me. We’re both victims here. And she does not get to win. Not now. Not ever.”

I see my words take root, the despair in his eyes lifting. His forehead comes to mine and he rocks against me, shaking his head. “I’m never gonna let you out of my sight.”

“I’m thinkin’ that’s not goin’ to be a hardship, honey.”

“I’ve never been more scared in my life. If she wasn’t already dead, I’d fuckin’ kill her myself.”

Knowing I’m the reason Jess is dead doesn’t even faze me. It was either her or me, and I’m not about to feel guilty that I battled for the beautiful life I’ve earned. Maybe one day I’ll feel differently, but I doubt it.

“Why am I here?”

He exhales, his eyes looking pained again. I hate that, but I know it’s unavoidable if I want to know what happened.

“When she . . .” He sucks in a deep breath. “When she shot you, the bullet lodged deep enough in your thigh that you lost a good bit of blood. They stitched you up, and the doctor assures me that, aside from the scar, you’ll have no lastin’ issues. But the bump on your head is what’s got you here for the night. When you passed out, you hit the edge of the toilet on your way down.”

“And the rest?”

“That’s it, darlin’. Stitches, fluids in your IV, and monitorin’ you overnight, and they assure me you’ll make a full recovery.”

I search his eyes, feeling my brows pull in. “What aren’t you tellin’ me?”

He searches my eyes before dropping his head and shaking it slowly. “John was part of this.”

My shoulders droop and the tension I felt in them drains away. “I know.”

“What do you mean you know?”

“Jess admitted it.” I look down at my lap. “I know he’s dead. And I know she did it too. I’m not upset he’s gone, but knowin’ that, in his way, he tried to stop her doesn’t exactly make me feel good that he died doin’ so.”

“And him? What did he say to you?”

Pulling my head back, I look into his face, confused by his question. “Pardon?”

“I forgot about it until I stood over his body and told Sheriff Holden that John approached you yesterday afternoon.”

“Oh, that,” I whisper, nodding. “I wasn’t keepin’ it from you, Clayton. Things were just, well . . . He was the last thing on my mind when I was gettin’ ready to marry you. I only had room for happiness and it slipped my mind.”

“I’m not mad, darlin’. I just want to know what he had to say. Piece this shit together the best I can.”

I search my mind, replaying everything I can remember. After what Jess said, some of John’s confusing words make more sense.

“He tried to stop her,” I finally say after the silence stretches on. “It didn’t make any sense when he came up to me in town, but after what she said about him, I get what he’d been tryin’ warn me about.”

“Explain that to me.”

I sigh and recount everything from when I was starting to cook, to when Jess broke the door, and every word she had to say before what happened in the office. I know it costs him to sit here and not react. The tic in his jaw muscle and the twitching of his left eye betray the calm he’s trying to project. Once I tell him everything, I take a gulp of air and lean back, instantly exhausted.

“I don’t give a shit that he thought he was protectin’ you. He should’ve gone straight to the fuckin’ cops when he realized what Jess was up to instead of helpin’ her with some misguided belief that he was doin’ it to keep you safe. There’s no fuckin’ gray line, Linney. You could have died tonight, regardless of what he tried to do leadin’ up to it. You could have been lost to me forever, and I’ll take your life over theirs any day.”

“I wasn’t justifyin’ his actions. I agree with you, but even though he failed, he tried.”

“And failed. All that matters is that he failed.”

I nod. “Our ugly isn’t goin’ to touch us anymore.”

He closes his eyes and his nostrils flare while he composes himself. “Nothin’ but good’s gonna touch us, darlin’.”

I nod, resting my head against the pillow with a yawn. Clayton leans over me and presses his mouth to my forehead. I blink up at him and smile. “A honeymoon might be a good idea now,” I slur, exhaustion pulling me under.

“Seein’ that we’re gonna be mighty busy in the next handful of months, I think you’re right.”