Cowboy Take Me Away(267)
When the staff delivered her food, she managed to eat half of it, despite the fact it had zero flavor. She stared at the evening dinner menu choices, but again the words on the page were a jumbled mess. She’d have to ask Carson to find her reading glasses.
The therapist forced her to walk around. Moving about had buoyed her spirits even when she’d kept a snail’s pace up and down the hallway.
Carson hadn’t complained. He’d just hovered. Encouraged her. Held her up when her body and her will had started to falter.
Exhausted and sore from working her muscles after a week of no activity, she returned to her room. But her fear about getting lost in sleep kicked in again. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t settle down until Carson climbed in bed with her.
Luckily she’d slept without dreams.
But again she woke in a panic.
Carson calmed her down before the nurses barreled in. “Hey, sugar. Listen to me. If something doesn’t feel right, you need to tell someone. If you’re havin’ headaches or hallucinations or you’re feelin’ paranoid, some of that is a normal reaction as the drugs are getting washed out of your system. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t try and hide it. The doctors can’t help your recovery process if they don’t know what they’re dealin’ with.”
She closed her eyes and nestled her face in his neck. “I’m scared.”
Carson didn’t say anything; he just trailed his fingers up and down her spine.
After a bit she began to talk. Then it all spewed out, in a fragmented mess. Her emotions were all over the place.
“Did that help?”
“Just being with you helps.”
“Mmm. I love the sweet talkin’ side of you.” He traced her jawline with his thumb. “You know you can tell me anything, but you oughta rethink your stance on talkin’ to the lady psychologist because I think she can help you.”
She frowned. “What stance?”
“You told her you didn’t need her help.”
“I don’t remember.” Another memory lapse. How many had she had since she came out of the coma? Two? Three? A dozen? “Was I rude to her?”
Carson shrugged. “I’m sure she’s used to patients tellin’ her to get the hell out of their rooms and to never come back.”
Her stomach roiled. “I said that?”
“It wasn’t like you made her cry or nothin’.”
Carolyn wanted to cry. “Am I going through one of those personality changes? Where I was a nice woman and after bein’ in a coma I become a total asshole?”
“Hey, it was one incident. You’re entitled to a little bad behavior after what you’ve been through. Don’t get yourself riled up.”
“Too late.”
“Sugar, just breathe, okay?”
“I can’t. I’m suffocating.”
He kissed her then, a sweet distraction. Soft smooches and the gentle brush of his lips across hers, the tease of his breath mingling with hers while his thumb continued to caress her face with utmost tenderness.
It settled her. It soothed her. She curled into him. His heart beat steadily beneath her ear. His outdoorsy scent filled her senses.“What time are the kids coming?”
“Whenever you’re feelin’ up to it. No rush.”