Cowboy Take Me Away(113)
“No. Look at me. Now.”
Those beautiful dazed blue eyes opened.
She grabbed his softening cock and lightly squeezed. “Who does this belong to?”
“You.”
“And who am I?”
“My wife.”
She inched closer to him. “Remember that the next time floozies are sniffing around you. Remember who fucked you outside a bar. Remember who sucked you off in her car. Remember that you’ll never find a woman who gives you what I do in and out of bed. Remember you’re mine and I take care of what’s mine. But if you ever fuck around on me I will cut off your cock and wear it as a necklace.” She smashed her mouth to his, her kiss brutal. Relentless.
Carson’s rough-tipped fingers tenderly caressed her cheeks, her throat, drawing her out of the place where she had something to prove.
His gentleness was her undoing. His mouth moved over hers sweetly as he whispered promises against her lips. “I love you more than life itself. You don’t ever have to worry that I’ll stray. You own me; heart, soul, mind, body and cock. Forever.”
“Good. Come on, let’s go inside.”
He walked behind her. When she slipped the key in the lock, he kissed the back of her neck. “Need you. Skin to skin. Slow and sweet.”
Turned out she needed that too.
Afterward, they were spooned together on the couch, her back to his front. “That was…like it always used to be between us.”
Carson kissed the ball of her shoulder. “Yep.” He stopped idly stroking her nipple to spread his hand out on her belly.
Somehow her earlier self-assurance that she hadn’t started showing yet was a lie. She had a fairly substantial pooch.
“Carson?”
“Mmm?”
“I’m pregnant again.”
“I know you are.”
Carolyn turned toward him. “How?”
He kissed her nose. “We’ve been through this twice before, so I recognized the signs. I’m bettin’ it happened that night…?”
“During calving when you were nearly frozen solid and I used blankets and body heat to get you warmed up.”
“You got me downright hot. Three times if I recall correctly.”
“Four if you count the blowjob.”
He laughed. “Of course it counts. Speaking of…you sucking me off in the car pretty much blew my mind.”
“Been a while since I’ve done that. It’s a little hard to do with the boys along.” Her smile faded. “You okay about the baby?”
“Completely okay. So that makes you…”
“About four months along. I’ve been holding off going to the doctor.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “Like you said. I’ve been down this road twice.”
Carson became quiet and she knew he didn’t buy her reasoning. Finally he said, “You’re not goin’ because of money.”
“It’s not a big deal. By the time I’m closer to delivery and I need to see the doctor you’ll have sent the cattle to market and we will have the money.”
“You have no idea how much this eats at me.”
“What?”
“Bein’ a shitty provider for my family because the cattle business is a damn crapshoot on a good year. Christ. I can’t afford to get you the proper medical care. We’re still livin’ hand to mouth and in this cramped damn trailer. Happy as I am that we’re adding to our family, where are we gonna put another kid?”
Carolyn rolled to face him. She searched his eyes and saw such guilt and shame. “Carson. Sweetheart. What’s going on? You’re never so negative about ranching.”
“Maybe it’s never seemed this dire before.”
“Is that why you’ve been drinking?”
“Yeah. As much as I know it don’t help, it dulled that panicked feeling.”
“How long have you been panicked?”
“Since the cattle sale last year barely covered our yearly operating expenses.”
She pressed her palm over his heart. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“Because it’s my job to worry about money, not yours.”
“There’s your problem. It’s not a you thing or a me thing, but an us thing. We’ve been down this keeping secrets road before and it didn’t go well for us, remember?”
He kissed her furrowed brow. “I don’t know how the hell I forgot.”
“So talk to me.”
“Dad is still expanding the ranch, which is good in theory, but in reality, it don’t make sense to buy land when it’ll sit unused because we can’t afford to buy extra cattle. Not only that, we don’t have the manpower to run more livestock. Cal and Charlie are good workers. Casper sucks most days. Dad ain’t as spry as he used to be. And I can’t work anymore than I already am.”