“Hey, careful with the flying horsehair there.” She blinked to clear the haze of involuntary tears.
“Now take the headstall in your right hand and the bit in your left and see if Darkside will let you slip the bit in his mouth while you get the bridle over his ears.”
Julia got her hands positioned and lifted the bridle toward Darkside’s head. He squealed and threw his head up, the whites of his eyes showing. “Easy, boy,” she said, lowering the bridle. “That didn’t go well.”
She transferred the bridle to one hand and reached out to stroke the horse’s soft nose. Darkside shook his head hard before he let her touch him. “Okay, buddy, you don’t like leather around your head. How about if we start with the bit and pretend the rest of the bridle isn’t there?”
She stepped in close so her back was to his chest, her shoulder nearly under his chin. Letting the top of the bridle dangle, she used two hands to bring the bit up to his lips. He squealed again and danced backward, making Sharon jog with him as she struggled to keep a hold on the reins. For a moment, Julia had a terrible vision of her whisper horse bolting with the saddle flapping on his back, adding to his terror. She nearly called off the whole crazy project. But she thought of how Darkside’s fear isolated him and knew she had to do everything she could to help him conquer it.
She put the bridle in her right hand and walked to where Sharon had managed to bring him to a standstill. He watched her, his ears flicking back and forth. She came right up to him and rested her forehead on his for a moment before straightening. “Listen, you’ve had some bad things happen to you, but you have to leave them behind.”
As she spoke, she brought the bridle up and simply stroked his head with the bunched leather.
“The bridle’s in my hand now, buddy, and you know my hand would never hurt you.”
She switched it to her left hand and stroked the other side of his head with it.
“See, it’s just a few leather straps. Nothing to be afraid of when your friend is holding it.”
Darkside’s ears stayed forward and Julia brought the bit to his lips, pushing gently until he opened his mouth so she could slip it in. Ever so slowly, she brought the headstall up where he could see it and kept going until she could ease first one ear and then the other through it. She buckled the throatlatch and sagged in relief.
“Good job,” Sharon said quietly, as she released the reins and came forward to hold Darkside’s head. “George, we can use your help now.”
The groom was inside the gate before Julia even realized he’d opened it. Darkside seemed to grow so large he blocked out the sun. The saddle on his back looked ten feet above the ground. She closed her eyes against the vision and counted to five as she drew in a breath, another five as she held it, and a final five as she let it out and opened her eyes. She unclenched the fists she hadn’t realized she’d made and scrubbed her sweating palms on her jeans.
“Ready, ma’am?” George had run the stirrups down to the bottom of their leathers and stood with his fingers laced together, waiting for her to put her knee in so he could help her up.
She’d dealt with Darkside’s fear. Now she had to deal with her own.
She nodded and stepped up to the side of the horse, stretching up to grasp the saddle as she’d seen her father and uncle do countless times. She fitted her knee in the groom’s hands and jumped upward. Propelled by George’s surprisingly strong grip, she found herself lying across Darkside’s back with barely any effort on her part. She scrambled around to swing her right leg over to the other side and sat upright as the big horse did a dance step under her.
“Whoa, boy, steady,” Sharon said, her voice both commanding and soothing.
George slotted Julia’s left foot, in its green cowboy boot, into the stirrup before she leaned down to hold the other iron to get her right foot settled.
She straightened and gathered up the reins in both hands, in imitation of the many times she’d watched various family members ride.
“Here, hold them like this,” Sharon said, showing her how to thread the leather straps through her fingers.
George checked the girth to make sure it was still tight.
“I’m going to lead you around the paddock the first time, all right?” Sharon asked.
Julia dragged her gaze away from the ground so far below her and looked at Sharon. The other woman’s expression went from questioning to concerned. “You okay, hon? You look a mite pale.”
Julia tried to swallow so she could speak but her throat muscles were locked up tight. She forced herself to take a deep breath and nodded.