At last they pulled into a small town, and Cliff stopped the car.
'Time to eat,' he announced.
Nicola would have preferred to remain in the car. The thought of food nauseated her, but she didn't want to upset Cliff and Teresita, so she accompanied them to a small restaurant in the central square, with a terrace overlooking the bustling market. A smiling girl brought them drinks, and they ordered black bean soup, flavoured with epazote, to be followed with strips of grilled steak topped with cheese, and served with enchiladas, fried beans, onions and chilies.
Nicola's mind was running in circles, but she forced herself to sip her drink.
Cliff was watching her. 'You look awful pale, honey.'
'And what wonder is that?' Teresita demanded warmly. 'How she has been made to suffer!'
Nicola shook her head. 'Whatever happened, I deserved.'
'J hear what you're saying, but it doesn't make much sense,' said Cliff. 'The guy has done you dirt, then and now. Okay, so what, you tried to pull with him was one crazy stunt, but hell, he didn't have to react as strongly as that about it. You don't practically kidnap a girl and make her marry you.'
She said wearily, 'It was an impulse.'
'He seems to have a lot of them,' Cliff muttered. 'And now he gets another impulse and decides enough is enough.'
Nicola bent her head. 'It-it was never a real marriage. There's no reason for either of us to feel tied by it.'
'And what are these impulses?' Teresita demanded. 'Don Luis does not give way to such things. Whenever I met him, he was always so correct- so aloof, never ruffled.'
'Except once,' Nicola reminded her with a faint smile. 'When he tried to give you a ride on his horse.'
'Ay!' Teresita clapped a hand to her head. T had forgotten. Oh, my poor mother, how mortified she was!'
'Look,' said Cliff, 'can we postpone the reminiscences? Nicky has a problem here. We're driving towards California, and I don't know that we should be because back there is a guy who forced her into some kind of weirdo marriage. Now, Nicky, you have every justification for hating his guts, but that doesn't mean you should let him get away with it like this.'
'I don't hate him,' Nicola said simply.
Teresita put down her glass and stared at her, 'Nicky, what are you saying? You cannot be serious!'
Nicola moved her shoulders wearily. 'I was never more serious in my life.' She smiled bitterly. 'Yes, he did pressure me into marrying him at first, but he didn't need to. I-I wanted him before I even realised who he was.'
Teresita said shakily, 'Dios, you are in love with him. Then why did you leave with us?'
'Because he doesn't love me, and I was afraid to show him how much I cared. It was all a disaster from the start,' Nicola confessed miserably, but the actual statement of the problem made her begin to feel better. Sitting in the car, she had gone over that final scene with Luis over and over again, trying to make sense of what had happened. He had behaved as if he was indifferent to her, but surely if that was the case he could not have been so angry, so jealous over her supposed affair with Ramon. Surely his violent reaction proved that he must care?
But she wouldn't think about caring. He had admitted he still wanted her and she could have built on that, even if that was all there would ever be in any relationship between them.
'Ay de mi!' Teresita put her hand on her husband's arm. 'Cliff, we must return to La Mariposa at once.'
'No,' Nicola protested. 'It-it's over. I can't go back.'
'Nothing is over,' Teresita said severely. 'You told us that it was not a real marriage, so how can it be over when it has not even begun? And if you go to California, it never will, because Don Luis will never follow you there. He is too proud.'
'Here comes the soup,' Cliff put in practically. 'I'll drive anywhere I'm told, but not on an empty stomach. And whether Nicky wants to go on to California, or back to the hacienda, she needs to eat, or she'll fall flat at Don Luis' feet in a faint, and that's not the idea at all.'
It was a long, leisurely meal, and Nicola sat, chafing silently as she forced herself to swallow as little food as she could get away with. It was mid-afternoon before they began the return journey, and she sat quietly wondering what to say, how to make things right between them.
It would not be easy, there was more than his pride to conquer. There was the sense of shame that his treatment of her the previous night had engendered, and her own shyness.
She sighed inwardly. It would have been so much less complicated if she had simply woken in his arms this morning. She could have turned to him then, convinced him somehow that the harshness of his initial possession of her was unimportant, and that she wanted him as passionately as he desired her. Her own woman's instincts would have carried her through, making stammered explanations unnecessary. Whereas now . . .
She stopped herself short. That was defeatism, and it had no place in her plans. She loved Luis, and she wanted him, and everything would be all right because it had to be.
Nevertheless, she still had her fingers crossed super-stitiously as they turned under the high arched gate and drove up the private road beyond the hacienda. It was almost dark, and she didn't know whether to be glad or sorry about that.
Cliff halted the car in front of the main entrance, and she rang the bell.
Carlos' jaw dropped when he saw her. 'Ay, señora! You have returned to us. Don Luis will be a happy man.'
'I certainly hope so,' she said with a calmness she was far from feeling. 'Will you arrange for a room to be prepared for Señor and Señora Arnold in the guest wing, Carlos? They'll be staying the night.'
'It is my pleasure, señora.' He was already moving to greet them, to collect their luggage.
Nicola took a deep breath and went up the stairs. She had plenty of time to change before dinner, and if she hurried, there might be a chance to talk to Luis first. He would probably be in his own room now, and she would try to catch him before he went down to the salon, although she still wasn't sure exactly what she was going to say to him.
Lost in thought, she went into her room and walked across to the bed to switch on the big lamp. As the light came on, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
Luis was there, lying face downwards across the bed, his face buried in her pillow. He was fully dressed except for his boots which were lying covered in dust in the middle of the bedroom floor where he had clearly thrown them. On the chest beside the bed was a bottle and a used glass. Nicola glanced at it, grimacing at the faint reek of spirits, and her heart sank. Had he drunk himself into insensibility? But a further look at the bottle provided reassurance. It was still more than two thirds full, and she guessed that if he had intended to drink himself to sleep, he had been overtaken by sheer exhaustion first.
One arm dangled limply over the edge of the bed, and on the floor below something glittered faintly which had obviously fallen there from his relaxed fingers. Nicola bent, and picked up her silver butterfly:'
She cradled it in her hand, her happiness soaring. He must have ridden all the way to the ejido to fetch it, and that had to be a hopeful sign, because it had no great intrinsic value for him to pursue. She touched the butterfly to her lips, then placed it on the bedside chest beside the glass.
Luis, she addressed him silently, my handsome, desirable, beloved, stubborn husband, it's time you woke up. She bent and lightly kissed the dishevelled black hair. He stirred immediately, but by the time he had lifted himself on to one elbow and was looking around him, she was several feet away, standing on the edge of the circle of lamplight, and smiling at him.
She said, 'Buenos noches, señor.'
For a long moment, he stared at her. His face was still grim and set, but there was a new uncertainty in his eyes.
At last he said quietly, If I am dreaming, then I hope I never wake.'
'I'm not a dream, señor, I'm flesh and blood, as I shall soon prove to you.' She kicked off her sandals and pivoted slowly on one bare foot. 'See-I'm real. All of me.'
'I see,' he said drily. -'Nicola, what are you doing here? Why have you come back-and how?'
Teresita and Cliff brought me. They're in the guest wing. And I'm here because you cheated me, Don Luis. Before you married me, you promised me passion, and you've cheated me. And today, I realised why.' Again she did that long slow pivot, allowing her skirt to swing out around her.
'And of course you are going to tell me.' His voice was even.
'Of course. You married me because you didn't want a dull, conventional marriage. But our life together just hasn't had the sort of excitement you wanted. So--' she smiled at him again -'I have decided that I shall just have to be more entertaining in future. Starting now.'