She made a little sound halfway between a sigh and a groan. Was she the only one at the hacienda who saw what was going on, and drew conclusions from it? Ramon, of course, was too busy, leaving the hacienda after an early breakfast, and often not returning until late in the day. But didn't Dona Isabella ever wonder where her daughter got to?
Each day since Luis' departure, Pilar had taken her horse and vanished for several hours at a time. Nicola had tried to follow more than once, but each time she had lost the trail, even though she suspected she now knew where Pilar headed each time.
Nor had it been easy, getting rid of her own assiduous escort, but she had managed it by saying mendaciously that she was going to meet Don Ramon. There had been some raised eyebrows and subdued mutterings in the stables, but she had been allowed to take Estrella and ride off unhindered. What would happen if Juan Hernandez ever checked out her story with Ramon, she chose not to think about.
She supposed she was a fool even to consider trying to help Pilar after everything that had passed between them, but she was doing it for Luis' sake, she thought, and that changed everything. He would be angry if he ever thought she had stood idly by and watched his young cousin ruin her life, as she seemed likely to do.
Nicola had little doubt that Pilar went every day to meet Miguel Jurado, and that although the letter Luis had intercepted had mentioned Santo Tomas as a rendezvous, they actually met at the ejido. That was the direction Pilar had taken each day, even though she had always slightly varied her route. Nicola knew this because she had taken the trouble to check a map of the estate which was kept in Ramon's office, but she had never dared ride that far herself.
She had wanted to several times, but on each occasion in the past something had held her back, reminding her how many memories that she might now find painful were attached to the place.
Nevertheless today she was quite determined. She was going to ride to the ejido and confront Pilar, and Miguel Jurado, if necessary. She was going to try and convince the girl that there was no future with a man who was having to live virtually in hiding, but if she failed-if Pilar refused to listen, as was more than likely, then she would just have to tell Luis the whole messy story when he returned from Sonora. That was something she could use to make Pilar see sense, she thought. The girl might rail against his autocracy, but she seemed to have a real respect for his anger.
She had not attempted to follow Pilar this time. She had ridden out ahead of her, and was waiting in the shelter of some rocks until Pilar could reasonably be expected to have arrived at the ejido.
She got up, dusting off her jeans, and whistled to Estrella, who came to her side stepping daintily. Nicola caressed the soft nose. The relationship between horse and rider could be such a simple one, she thought, with trust and affection on both sides.
Her solitary rides had given her plenty of time to think about Luis and herself, and she knew now she had been all kinds of a fool to allow pride lo get in her way. All she had achieved was tc turn him back to Carlota Garcia. He was not a man to accept kindly a period of enforced celibacy when solace in his mistress's arms was only a comparatively short distance away.
And I, Nicola thought savagely, gave him up to her without even a struggle. I could have fought. I've novelty value for him, at least, and I'm younger than she is. And I can give him the child he wants. All I have to do is accept this marriage on his terms-go to him, tell him that I want him.
She sighed. Perhaps if they were close physically, then the emotional and spiritual rapport she craved might fellow-one day.
Even though she had carefully checked out the route, it was further than she thought to the ejido, and she realised that she was not going to make it back to the hacienda for the midday meal. She moved her shoulders wearily. Well, probably she would not be greatly missed.
She reined in Estrella and looked down the slope at the small building, her eyes narrowing as she realised there was a wisp of smoke coming from the chimney. Either the authorities were incredibly obtuse, or Pilar and Miguel were suffering from an overdose of bravado, she thought.
She approached with caution, even though she couldn't see Pilar's horse tethered anywhere, or any other form of transport nearby either. She dismounted, and hung Estrella's reins over a convenient rail. Her boots clattered sharply on the rickety wooden verandah, but she could hear no sounds of movement or alarm inside the cabin itself, even when she knocked sharply at the door. There was no reply, so she pushed it open and went inside.
There were obvious signs that someone was in residence. The fire was lit, and the cooking pot hung over the modest flame, emitting steam and a savoury aroma which made Nicola's nose wrinkle appreciatively, reminding her how long it was since she had eaten her sweet rolls and coffee at breakfast.
The place was cleaner too, she thought incredulously. The floor had been swept, and the table scrubbed. She noticed crockery-even a bottle of wine-and the bed made up with pillows and blankets. Every modern convenience, she thought bleakly. Two glasses for the wine. Two pillows on the bed.
Oh, Pilar! What is your mother going to say about all this? she wondered silently.
The food, all the preparations seemed to suggest that Pilar and her lover would be using the cabin in the very near future. Well, she would stable Estrella in the ramshackle building at the rear and await their arrival.
She took off her hat and pitched it on to the bed, then sat down on one of the stools. The air in the cabin was warm and close, and she unfastened a couple of buttons on her shirt, fanning herself languidly with her gloves.
Just how long had this been going on? she asked herself, gazing curiously around her. She couldn't imagine Pilar working to clean up the cabin, but perhaps she had enjoyed playing house there. Nicola found it sad.
She looked at her watch, noting resignedly that it was now well past the lunch hour, and hoping no hue and cry had been started.
She got up, gave the food on the fire a quick stir to ensure that it wasn't sticking, then poured herself a glass of the wine.
'Salud,' she thought. 'To absent friends.'
All the same, she hoped they wouldn't be absent for much longer. The wine was pleasant, but it made the cabin seem warmer than ever, and after a few minutes she put her folded arms on the table and rested her head on them. She wouldn't go to sleep, she assured herself, although she could not deny she was drowsy. But she could close her eyes for a few moments. That would do no harm, because she would be sure to hear them when they arrived.
Eventually she sat up with a start, feeling slightly dazed. She had no idea what had roused her, but it certainly wasn't anyone's arrival. She was still alone, and the fire was nearly out.
Nicola got up, stretching cramped limbs. She would find some more wood, and see to poor Estrella, she thought guiltily. She opened the cabin door and went out on to- the verandah, but there was no greeting whinny. The mare had gone.
For a moment Nicola stood motionless, telling herself that she was hallucinating, the result of her long ride in the sun. Then she whistled long and frantically, but without the slightest effect. She stared at the verandah rail where she had tied the mare, trying to collect her thoughts. The rail was still intact, so Estrella hadn't dragged herself free, which meant that someone had quite deliberately released her.
Pilar, she thought helplessly. Who else? She turned and went slowly back into the cabin. Could it be that all the time she had thought she was trailing Pilar, the other girl had been following her, just waiting for an opportunity lo leave her stranded? After all, she had warned Nicola she would make her sorry, and Nicola supposed that Pilar had known perfectly well that she had been on her track for the last few days and had decided to teach her a lesson.
She groaned, although she supposed she should be thankful she hadn't fallen asleep earlier under her rock, otherwise Pilar might have taken the mare then, and she would be out in the open without food or water in the full heat of the d-y. As it was, if she had to be abandoned somewhere, at least here there was a modicum of comfort, she thought resignedly. It could have been so much worse.
But she was anxious about Estrella. Pilar could not take her back to her stable without giving herself away, and she hoped desperately that she wouldn't just turn the mare loose and leave her to fend for herself.