Fighting with Dillon probably screwed my chances on the team and the scholarship I wanted so badly. My own words about Isabelle ruined any shot I have at a future with her. There really is nothing left. I’m completely alone, the same way I was when Mom split, leaving me with Satan incarnate.
Closing my eyes, blocking out whatever Dean is going to do next, I let the darkness pull me under and just like times before, the last thing I see before it completely drags me down is Isabelle as she walks toward me, smiling.
Belle
Something doesn’t feel right. I’ve got this sick feeling in my stomach. It’s been there for over an hour and no matter what I do, it doesn’t go away.
I thought it was because of everything that happened tonight, but even when I’m not thinking about all of that, it’s still there, turning me inside out. I tried taking medicine, hoping that would fix it, but it did nothing to help. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, something I’m sure my body wants more than anything, but all I do is toss and turn, the sick feeling growing even more.
When I’ve finally had more than I can stand, I go downstairs, but when I reach the bottom step, I just stand and watch the picture in front of me. Tristan’s on the sofa, curled up in my mom’s arms, the TV playing some superhero movie, but neither one of them is paying attention. Mom’s head is turned into his and he’s blocked by her body so I can’t make out where his face is, but I think he might be asleep.
It’s a peaceful picture, one I’ve seen a million times before, but one that gets to me now more than ever. Despite everything that I have to deal with, at the end of the day I still get to come home to this. To a mother, that despite her own failings, loves unconditionally and who will do anything to keep her kids safe and protected.
There’s no darkness, pain or fighting here. There’s just love.
We have stress of course, every family has that, but here, the way it’s dealt with is just so different than what I’ve seen and read about. The stress doesn’t break us; it seems to make us stronger.
Watching them this way, it makes me think of the people that don’t have this. It makes me think of him, despite the fact that he’s the last person I want to focus on. He had this, at least a little before his mom left, but it wasn’t quite the same. Now, he doesn’t have it at all and even though I never want to see him again, my heart breaks for him.
Leaving him outside on the lawn and walking away, I have no idea where he ended up and it’s scares me. No matter how upset I am, I know what’s going to happen if he goes home and not even Kayden deserves that. I should have brought him in, instead of leaving him out there.
Maybe I didn’t do the right thing for him after all. Sending him home to Dean is never going to be the right thing.
Placing my foot down flat, the floor creaks under the pressure and the peaceful picture of my family shifts, my mom turning her head toward the sound and locking eyes with me.
“It’s alright, Belle.” She whispers, giving me all the proof I need that Tristan is indeed asleep in her arms. “Go ahead, just be careful.”
She knows what I want to do and I don’t have to say a word. This is another reason I’m so glad that she’s my mom. It’s been proven that there are people in the world that, because of their own issues, can’t handle when things are hard. She’s not like that at all. I think in some way, I was put with her because of how strong she is, even at her weakest point. She could have given up at any time, sent me away somewhere, but she didn’t. She stayed right by my side, fighting for me every step of the way.
Grace Reagan is the strongest person I know.
“I will. I won’t be long.”
I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but once I’ve traded out my slippers for the sandals and put my jacket on, I know that I’ve got to do it.
Kayden Walker may be everything that he’s claimed to be right from the beginning, but he’s still a person underneath all of it. A living, breathing person that deserves better then to go home every single night and fear what might happen. The sick feeling inside of me, it’s because of him and until I see for myself that he’s okay, that Dean hasn’t hurt him, I won’t feel right again.
Not bothering to look both ways, content that at this time of night, the street’s going to be quiet, I run across and it’s only when I get to his door that I know why the pain in my stomach is so strong.
I hear what sounds like bottles smashing, then the yelling, but it’s not Kayden. It’s all Dean. I would recognize that angry, gruff sound anywhere. Even though I’ve seen his brother in the peak of his rage before, it doesn’t sound anything like this. I’m about to knock on the door when I hear the moan. It’s not loud and just as quickly as I hear it, it’s gone. It’s just Dean yelling again, but I know the moan was from Kayden.