“I thought he was one of the good guys.” She says and I can’t help agreeing with her. I thought the same thing, even though history should have been enough to tell me otherwise.
“What did he ask you?”
“He asked me what I knew about Autism, more specifically, your particular diagnosis. He asked about strengths that you have and weaknesses he might not have been aware of, that kind of thing. There was something more though.”
“What does that mean?”
“He seemed genuinely concerned with doing right by you. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve seen a student so determined before. He claimed he was tired of doing everything wrong, so learning was going to be his first step.”
“The first step to what?”
Even thinking like this is making the ache in my chest worse. I don’t want to know what his game was. I already know the end, but with the way she’s describing it, it’s like there’s more to it and I need to know, even if it hurts.
“To making things right, at least that’s what I assumed when he sat with me. You walked away from him and he wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that.”
I know the day she’s talking about. It’s the day I overreacted and walked away from him at lunch. I thought he was planning something with her and it hurt that he was keeping it to himself. I guess I should be happy I have answers now.
She pulls up into my driveway and I unbuckle the seatbelt, fully prepared to say goodnight and duck inside as quickly as possible, but before I can reach the door handle, she speaks again.
“I know it’s probably not the right time to say this, but Isabelle, I don’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“I saw his face the day he came to see me and I’m having a hard time reconciling that Kayden, with the one tonight. I don’t think he had a hand in this.”
Understanding what she means, but not sure I can agree, I thank her for driving me home and slide myself out of the car. Waving once as she backs out of the drive, I turn toward my house, the lights from the living room guiding me forward like a beacon.
As I slowly make my way up toward the door, there’s only one thought running through my head.
Despite what my mom believes, sometimes regrets are a good thing.
Kayden
I am seriously fucked up right now.
After they carted Isabelle out of the gym, Dillon and I were kicked out. Worst part of all was them stripping me of my crown. Poor bastards actually think something that frigging stupid matters to me.
Apparently they take beating the ever living shit out of each other in a room full of people seriously. Who knew?
There was a minute or two when we got kicked outside by Coach that it looked like we were gonna wail on each other again. At least that’s what I wanted to do the minute the doors closed. The problem with that is, if I go at him again, I’d be beating on him for shit that I did. Sure, he put it out there, instead of being the decent guy he’d been pretending to be, but that was my fault too.
I knew Dillon was a complete douche. I mean, I taught him everything I know. Add that to what he already had stored away from before and he was a walking time bomb for this stuff. I knew it and still chose to believe in him.
It’s actually her fault when you think about it. If it hadn’t been for her and her oh-so-trusting attitude wearing off on me during our time together, I would’ve remembered what a complete dick Dillon Murphy really is and that shit tonight wouldn’t have happened. Yeah, that’s much better. It’s all Isabelle’s fault.
No, see, that’s not right. That’s the anger and alcohol talking.
It’s not her fault at all. None of this is her fault. All she did was fall for a complete asshole. Can’t say I didn’t warn her.
God, I screwed this whole thing up. I had one of the best human beings in the world wanting to be with me and I had to go and blow it all to shit. I craved the popularity so damn bad that I forgot where I came from. I used her, making fun of her, in order to make myself look better. All I did was make myself look like the chump I really am.
She’s so much better off without me. I’m just not sure I’m all that better off without her.
Walking away from Dillon, his laughter at my back not even registering, I had one set goal in mind of where I wanted to go. Somehow though, I didn’t end up following through. I might be the world’s biggest dick bag, but I know better than to drive when I’m like this. So leaving my car in the parking lot, I start walking. I was going to walk to Isabelle. I needed to see her, explain what happened tonight.
I ended up at the liquor store instead.
I sat there for over an hour, drinking straight from the bottle and now I’m attempting to do what I wanted to do earlier. I know showing up at her house, drunk off my ass no less, is probably not the way to go, but it’s not like I can just walk home. Dean sees me like this and I’m dead for sure.