Count On Me(71)

“Pfft,” Tristan scoffs. “I’m so gonna grow up and be bigger then you, just watch.”

“Sure you are buddy. I can’t wait to see that.”

He turns his attention back to me and places a soft kiss on my nose.

“I’m so glad you’re here and that you’re wearing this.” he whispers as he fingers the sleeve of the jacket that’s securely wrapped around me. “I know how weird this is for you.”

There was a time not that long ago when he would say words like ‘weird’ or ‘stupid’ and it would bother me, but now it’s like I know he doesn’t mean them the way everyone else does. I don’t flinch at them anymore and he doesn’t react the way he used to. We’ve both come such a long way with each other.

“I need to get back down there, but Isabelle, thank you for doing this. You being here, it’s everything.”

He kisses my lips gently before again patting Tristan on the head, beaming his smile down at him and before I know it, he’s gone and we’re left alone again.

“Kayden is awesome!”

“Yeah, but don’t tell him that. He’ll never let us forget it.” I whisper before we take our seats in the stands. As uncomfortable as it is having all of these eyes on me, I’m actually glad I did come because the look that Kayden had before he went back down to the field is one I want to see him wearing always. It’s one that he hasn’t worn much at all in the eight years since we stopped talking.

I’m not naïve enough to believe I’m the whole reason for it, but if my being here, especially wearing his extremely oversized jacket, contributes at all to what he’s feeling right now, I’m happy to do it. He’s given me so much since he rescued me that first day. Any chance I have to pay it back, I’ll take.

“Oh look Char, the freak is here.”

“Gross, they’re gonna have to disinfect that area when she leaves.”

“Impossible, they don’t make a cleaner strong enough to mask that.”

I can tell with how close they sound that they’re behind us but I refuse to turn around in order to confirm it. Their words get to me though. I’ve managed to avoid seeing them this week, so having them here now brings everything to the surface. It’s like I’m back in that bathroom all over again.

My heart starts racing and I breathe in and out, timing myself, in an effort to calm down before Tristan figures out something’s going on. He’s used to things happening with me, but usually Mom is with us. We’re on our own now.

“How about you shut up?”

“Tristan, don’t. You know Mom hates you saying that word.” I whisper the minute I realize that it was him answering them back.

“Oh look, the retard can talk after all.”

Well I could before you had to call attention to it. I think the minute Charlotte says the words.

“She sounds like a mouse, doesn’t she, Ames?”

“Yeah, she does. A stupid mouse though.”

I can’t let them see that they’re getting to me. If I do, I know what’s going to happen and tonight I’m determined to not let it get that far. I knew this might happen, so now I just have to suck it up and deal with it. I can’t let my fear win.

“Stop talking about yourself.” Tristan snaps again, his eyes never shifting from their vantage point on the field. Whatever the reason is for why he’s doing this, he’s not giving them the satisfaction of looking at them. He’s six and he’s stronger then I am.

“I feel bad for Kayden, I mean he gave his jacket to her and all she’s gonna do is piss all over it.”

Charlotte’s comment gets to me despite all of my attempts not to let it. Anytime someone brings up my accidents, I always react, even though I don’t want to. I can feel the tears building up in the corner of my eyes and the pounding of my heart in my head, loud as ever. If I don’t get out of here or get control of it soon, I’m going to make her words a reality.

I stand, grab hold of Tristan’s hand, whispering to him that I need to get out of there and he instantly starts walking, pulling me with him. He might not entirely get what autism is or why it makes me the way I am, but he does get that it’s causing me pain and just like he said at home, he’s protecting me.

“Hey, Isabelle!” I hear Amy call out before we’re able to get away. “You think Kayden really likes you, but he doesn’t. You were his choice. He’s been playing you the entire time.”

There’s a crushing weight on my chest as she speaks, but before I can get out of there I feel Tristan’s hand slide out of my own. Before I know it, he’s walking toward both girls. Raising his leg, I watch as he stomps down hard on Amy’s foot before turning to Charlotte and kicking her in the knee. It might not be the right way to deal with things, but as they both react, I can’t help feeling a little proud of him.