“What d—does it mean?” he stammers as he takes in everything I’ve written.
It means I like you, Kayden. I like you a lot.
Kayden
I’m one of the most confident SOB’s alive.
When I’m on the field, I own it. I make it my own and nothing can stop me. I’m in a zone like no other and I am the best at what I do. When I’m with Dillon and the others, he might think he runs the show, but everyone knows that I do, or at least I did before Isabelle came back into my life. I can talk myself easily out of any situation I find myself in, especially with adults.
I have never had a moment of self doubt. At least I didn’t until that day in my car when she told me that if I wanted to be different then to be different. Everything changed that day. I doubt myself a lot more and right now, the way I’m acting proves it.
Telling her I like her isn’t enough because I don’t just like her. I’m in love with this girl, but I know I can’t tell her that. It’s too soon and I don’t want to scare her away. I’ve only loved one person before, so it’s all I have to base this on and that person lost the right to have my love a long time ago. Isabelle is different. She doesn’t have to earn it; I freely want to give it to her.
I want to give her all of me even if she deserves so much better.
What she texted me, I don’t know how to respond. I had no idea that she felt that way when we stopped hanging out back then, but considering everything that’s happened since, I’m pretty sure it’s a safe bet that even if I did know, I wouldn’t have cared. I really wasn’t lying when I said I was a first class asshole.
Things are different now. I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I want to be the one that I always ripped on other people for being. I want to be the one that loves, protects, adores and cherishes. I want to be a Valentine’s Day card brought to life, even if I suck at it. I want to do that and more, but not for just anyone.
Only for Isabelle.
It means that I like you, Kayden. I like you a lot.
It was supposed to be me making the night perfect and with a couple of words, she’s taken it from me. When I asked her what she felt, she didn’t hesitate telling me and it’s about damn time I do the same for her. Whatever nervousness I feel about the way this might go is gone now. She’s taken that away too.
“I like you too, Isabelle and it’s more than just a lot.”
What does that mean?
“It means that I lied to you at lunch. You’re more than just a friend to me. I think you always have been, if that makes sense. I just know that what I feel for you, it’s something I’ve never felt before and I’m so damn scared I’m gonna screw it up. I really, really, really don’t wanna screw it up.”
You like me?
This girl I swear. Normally if someone acted like this around me, I would just get up and walk away, but with her I’m completely frozen in place. Even if I wanted to get up, I can’t. She consumes me so completely. It’s her lack of understanding and her childlike innocence that I love most about her. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known.
I more than like you.
Before she can respond I type out another one and hit send, knowing how cheesy it’s going to sound, but no longer caring. I’m willing to be the king of cheese, whipped or whatever else, as long as it’s with her.
Will you be my girlfriend?
Two things happen the minute she sees the text and I’m not sure which one affects me more. First I see the tear as it slides down from her eye, followed up by another one, but before I can reach out and wipe them away what she does next stops me in my tracks.
Her lips curve up and for the first time since I’ve known her, or at least of what I can remember of my time with her, she does it.
She smiles.
Chapter Seventeen
Belle
Contrary to what people think, I can remember smiling before. It’s not like I’ve never done it or something. It’s just been a really long time since it’s happened. The only time I’ve ever really smiled in the last couple of years has been because of Tristan. It’s true what they tell you about little kids. It’s hard not to smile around them and my little brother is no different. He can get to me in a way that the rest of the world can’t, at least until the exact second I read the text from Kayden.
Something shifted when he asked me to be his girlfriend. For the first time in so long, I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I didn’t need a little kid to get me there. This time it’s all on him.
I’m not sure the best thing to say to a guy you like is how much you hated him, but this is the way I am. I tell the truth always, even when it might hurt and with Kayden especially, he deserves it. I guess in a way, my mom was right, because when I told him everything a few minutes ago, I knew my worth. No matter how he took it, at least I know I was completely honest and left nothing a secret.