I have no idea what to say. I don’t remember any of it and I have the best memory of anyone I’ve ever met. For the first time since I got home today, I’m happy. Bringing this to my mom had been the right thing after all.
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same or I’m too weird for him?”
“We’re all a little weird, Isabelle. It’s our differences that make us unique and you shouldn’t let anyone, even a boy you might like, tell you anything different.”
This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this to me. In fact, this is one of her go to speeches when I get bullied. I’m not entirely sure I believe in it, but I do know she wouldn’t say it to me if she didn’t believe it.
“I’m not sure what to tell you about him feeling the same because I can’t speak for him, but from someone that gets the pleasure of living with you each and every day, I can tell you that he would be stupid not to.”
“You’re required to say that.”
“That may be so, but I mean every word of it. You have come such a long way, especially these last few years. You’re at an age now where everything you’re experiencing is normal and whoever is lucky enough to earn your trust and affection better know what a gem they have.”
“You know the only thing missing from that is a shotgun and shovel right?” I ask and she laughs.
“Someone’s been spending too much time watching movies.”
I just shrug in response and again, she laughs. It reminds me how lucky I am to have her. Not everyone can have a mom like her. It also reminds me of Kayden. He doesn’t have this kind of thing at home. It makes me sad thinking about it because that’s the one thing I want for him. I want him to know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally, just the way I am.
“I get the feeling that there’s more that you still need to tell me. Am I wrong?”
“No, you’re not wrong.”
“Well then what are you waiting for? Spill it young lady!”
“Is it alright if I go out later?” I ask knowing it’s a long shot, but hoping that her response to Kayden might change her mind.
“Define going out.”
“Kayden said he wants to stop by and talk to me after practice. I said it was okay, but I wasn’t sure if you would be okay with him being here. I just wanna meet him out front.”
“So you just want to sit out front with him?”
I nod and again she’s flashing her mega-watt smile at me. Maybe she’s not going to freak out after all.
Going out is a topic that hasn’t really come up before, but with how protective she can be over me, I know it’s one she’s concerned about. The closer I stay to home, the easier it is to protect me and up until Kayden asked to meet me earlier today, I agreed with her.
“That’s fine, Isabelle, but promise me something?”
“Okay.”
“If it gets too cold out there, promise me you will come inside. Kayden was welcome here years ago and he’s welcome now.”
I’ve lived with this woman for almost eighteen years and somehow she still has the ability to surprise me. If I can turn out to be half the person that my mom is, I’ll be the luckiest person alive. I think I already am.
There’s still one more thing we need to talk about, but this time, it’s nothing I need to be worried about. This is something that’s been a long time coming.
“Mom, there’s actually one more thing I need to talk to you about.”
“What is it honey?”
“When you get the chance do you think you can make an appointment with Dr. Stevens?”
“Of course I can. Any particular reason why?”
The way she asks this, her tone drenched in concern makes me want to explain everything in detail, so she knows she has nothing to worry about, but I don’t do that. Instead I go with the vaguest answer I can think of, but one I know she won’t question, at least not right away.
“I need his help fixing something.”
Kayden
My body is killing me and I definitely need a shower, but instead of sticking around once practice is over, I do the complete opposite and book it out of there as fast as I can.
The one rule Coach has, both for practice and games, is that we always keep our head in the game, but tonight, out there on the field, that’s the last place my mind was. I did everything I was told and I think I played my ass off, but my head and heart were definitely not in it.
I left both of them with the girl that I’m now about to go see. The girl that the minute I see her, I’m going to pull as close as possible to me and ask to be my girlfriend.