He excuses himself from the table as she laughs and again it feels like there’s a spotlight being flashed on me. We’re alone, so there’s nothing stopping me. I still don’t know how I feel about it though.
“The last couple of weeks, there’s something different about you. I know you think I’m too busy to notice it, but I’m not. Is that what this is about?”
I nod slowly and she smiles, but it’s weak because it doesn’t even reach her eyes. She’s not sure if the difference in me is a good or bad thing.
“Well you know I’m here to listen, even if you think it’s something I won’t like hearing.”
Crap. She’s making it even harder now. I think I want her to be one of those moms that are too busy to hear what their kids have to say just so I don’t have to say the words. She’s not though and if I want to meet Kayden in an hour, I need to do this now.
“How do you know when you like someone?”
She leans back in the chair and I start wondering if this was the right question to start with. It’s what I want to know most, but now she’s gonna know I like someone and it will change the entire way this conversation goes.
“Well baby, I don’t know how it feels for you, but I remember what it was like for me. Is that what you want me to explain?”
I nod again and wasting no time she picks right up where she left off.
“Well it might sound a little cliché, but when you first notice someone you like, you get butterflies swimming around in your stomach, you sweat a whole lot and sometimes, it might even be hard to breathe.”
The way she’s describing it is like she’s pulling everything I’ve been feeling right from my head. I’ve had all of that and more with Kayden, so it’s pretty obvious I have my answer.
“The more you’re around them, you might notice your heart racing, but considering yours does that in other instances as well, you might not catch on to it right away. When you’re not with them, it will feel like a part of you is missing. Does any of this sound familiar to you?”
I nod. I want to admit to it all out loud, but everything she’s saying is so familiar that it’s making me speechless.
“Oh Isabelle,” she sighs though she’s smiling again and this time it’s actually reaching her eyes. “Who is the lucky boy?”
This is where things are about to get awkward, well more awkward anyway. It’s the point where the fear from earlier comes back and I’m not sure I want to tell her. I don’t want her to think it’s wrong or tell me that I shouldn’t feel that way for Kayden, considering the way he was before.
“It’s Eric, isn’t it? I always did think that boy liked you a little more then he let on.”
I want to laugh so bad right now.
“No it’s not Eric. Mom…”
I’m gonna tell her. I have to tell her and hope it turns out alright.
“Isabelle, this is such a big moment for you. I know that I seem a little over eager, but it’s only because I wasn’t sure this moment would ever happen. I want to hear everything.”
“It’s Kayden.”
There. It’s out now and while I sit there in complete silence, waiting for her expression to change, holding my breath, the strangest thing happens.
She laughs.
“I always figured it would be.”
What does that mean? How could she know that I would fall for Kayden Walker when I wasn’t even sure myself until about five minutes ago?
“You were expecting me to react differently?” she asks and I nod in response. I expected her to do anything but what she actually did. She’s never been much of a yeller, but that was more expected then her laughter.
“Yeah, I guess I was.”
“Well, let me explain. From the time that boy was about three, I noticed something different about him. When he would spend time here, I would watch the way he was with you. This was before everything happened of course. Anytime you got upset, he was always jumping to his feet to help you. He always had a smile for you and when he looked at you—”
She cuts off and there’s this second where I want to scream at her, dying for her to finish what she was gonna say, but I don’t do it. I don’t remember Kayden ever being like that, so what she’s saying now is like music to my ears. It’s like the Kayden she remembers and the one that I know now are the same.
“How did he look at me, Mom?”
“His eyes were always so—tender. I think that’s the word. That boy lived for your smile. He even went out of his way quite a lot to make it happen. I guess that’s why I’m not surprised. With the way he was with you then, even if he has changed over the years, it makes sense that it’s him now.”