Talking about Dillon and what happened is bringing that feeling back again. I want the soup so bad I can taste it, but I feel my appetite fading fast. I just don’t know if I have it in me to tell him that we need to stop talking.
“Here,” he says as he lifts the spoon from the container, holding his other hand underneath it and moving toward me. “Someone needs to eat. I can see it all over her face.”
As I accept the spoon into my mouth, I feel a familiar ache in my chest. I’m sure he wasn’t intending for it to be anything other than sweet, but if he remembers anything about our time together when we were younger, he has to realize just how close to the way things used to be this is.
I feel like a baby.
“Talk to me, Belle. You went from being so damn happy, to looking like I ran over your cat or something. What’s going on?”
Talk to me Belle.
If only it were that easy.
As I start typing to him, I stop because I feel the wetness on my cheeks before I even realize I’ve done it at all. I’m crying.
“Shit! I keep doing this to you. Belle, I’m sorry!” he says, his voice pleading as he reaches across to me and wraps his hand around my own. “I keep saying shit without thinking about it. Please forgive me?”
I want to text him and tell him he has nothing to be sorry for, that I have no idea why I’m crying and that it doesn’t have anything to do with him, but I can’t do any of that. The tears keep falling and my eyes are so clouded with them I can’t even see my phone, let alone the letters to touch to get the words out.
He pulls me to him and I’m calmed by the beating of his heart through his shirt. It’s strong and steady and at certain points it seems to speed up and then slow down again. It sounds like the beat of a drum, the steady rhythm that’s happening now. It’s only when I attempt to pull away that he stops me, placing both of his hands on my cheeks, his light green eyes locked on my now tear stained blue ones.
It’s almost as if time stops in that moment and as much as I want to break the eye contact, unable to handle it, I’m frozen in place. I can’t look away; it might actually hurt me to do it.
“Isabelle…” he says his tone calm, the sound of his voice low. “Say you forgive me…”
I know what he wants me to do, but I can’t give it to him. Not without completely pulling away and reaching for the phone that somehow dropped when he pulled me to him.
“Screw it.” He says, this time his voice crystal clear, but before I can process what he means by it, his lips press to mine and any thought I might have been able to come up with fades away.
At least it does until I remember that I’ve never done this before and I don’t have the first clue what I’m even supposed to do. Our lips are pressed together, neither one of us moving. Just the way it was when we were looking at each other, we seem to be completely locked in place. My eyes are closed as I embrace the tingling sensation that came the minute his lips touched mine. The one I never want to end.
He breaks away, but instead of completely backing away the way I expect him to, he places two more kisses on the corners of my lips and the tingle, along with the scent of whatever cologne he’s wearing, mix with the feel of his breath on my skin, making me lightheaded. It’s only when he finally backs away that I open my eyes and I’m met again with the intense stare coming from his.
“I—forgive—you.”
Kayden
I have no clue what I’m doing. I just know I can’t stop.
I brought Isabelle back to school with five minutes to spare, proceeding to walk her to classes before driving her home. We fell back into the same routine, like we didn’t just have this monumental shift happen a couple of hours before.
Not only did I do something completely out of character and kiss her, but right after it she spoke to me.
When I told her I was sorry, I meant it. Not thinking as usual, I lost my mind when she mentioned what Dillon said. I’m not sure how, but it seemed to get more messed up after that. All I did was attempt to be cute and feed her some of her food, but tears started falling. I screwed up again.
I could tell she’d never been kissed before. The minute I pressed my lips to hers, it’s like she completely froze, but then again, so did I. It wasn’t planned, me kissing her, but the way she looked at me, I knew I had to.
Her lips were so damn soft I didn’t want to break away from them. I’m not sure what she puts on them, but they are the softest pair of lips I’ve ever felt before and it’s not exactly a secret that I’ve kissed a lot of girls.
Things got even weirder after that because when I asked her to forgive me, it should have been for making her cry, but it wasn’t, not entirely. I was asking her to forgive me for everything. I needed it like I need air to function, that’s how important it was to me. I didn’t expect her to ever say it out loud. All I wanted was her familiar text and I would have been fine, but I got so much more than that.