Despite everything that I see and hear going on around us, this is probably the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
The only problem is, my mom doesn’t know about any of it. I come home from school every day and we talk, so she can see that I’m doing alright, but I never bring up the reason for it. I just talk to her about what Ms. Taylor has us doing or what Tristan has been telling me when we’ve hung out and leave it at that until I go to bed. I’m not sure why I don’t tell her. It’s not like she hates him. She used to talk about him a lot, especially after his mom took off and then occasionally over the years. She feels a lot where he’s concerned and would probably understand everything easily, but I just can’t bring it up.
I want to keep it to myself for a little while longer.
There’s something different about him today. He seems nervous about something. Whenever I catch myself staring at him, I take in the way he moves and acts and it’s obvious something isn’t right. I want to ask him about it, but with how good everything’s been, I’m scared of making it worse. The last thing I want after the week I’ve had is for him to go running in the other direction.
Just as I finish packing up my stuff and get ready to meet him in the hall, keeping to the exact same routine we’ve been doing all week, my phone goes off. Stopping by the door and ignoring the look Ms. Taylor is giving me, her eyebrows raised and the hint of a smile on her lips, I pull out my phone and see his name at the top of my screen.
God, how badly I want to smile at this. It’s been so long since I’ve done it that I’m not even sure my cheek muscles can handle it anymore. They might be stuck this way forever, the same way your tongue gets stuck to a frozen pole. That’s what happened to the guy in A Christmas Story anyway.
Can you meet me in the parking lot? I want to show u something off campus.
He knows how I feel about routines. How much I need them in order to feel okay. He’s actually been going out of his way this week to make sure we stick to it, so this change is unsettling to me.
As much as I don’t want to focus on the past, it’s hard not to remember the last time I went into the parking lot alone. Sure, it all brought me to now, with Kayden spending every spare minute he has with me, but it still doesn’t change the fear I have inside about going out there again. When he’s with me, I don’t have to feel afraid, but to take the steps on my own, well, I’m not quite sure I can handle it.
I don’t know…
His response is immediate.
Trust me Belle. I won’t let anyone hurt u.
Okay…
I make my way to my locker, all the while checking around me, making sure that no one’s around. Once I’ve grabbed my lunch, I slam my door shut and prepare to make my way out to meet him. It’s only as I make my way past the office, a few steps away from the door that I see him.
Dillon.
The look on his face is as evil as always. Some book I read the other day says the devil can walk around among us and I swear if it’s true, Dillon is the devil because the only thing I want to do when I’m within a foot of him, is run in the other direction.
Why did Kayden have to pick today to want to do something different?
As I do my best to ignore him, making my way past him to the doors that will take me to his friend, I hear my name and my heart freezes in my chest, the same way my feet do.
My phone chooses that second to go off and looking down at it, I see that again, it’s Kayden.
I can see u. Hurry up.
Typing as quickly as I can manage, I press send and hope that he gets it quickly. Sometimes when we’re texting, the messages we send don’t go through and this is definitely not the time for that to happen. I need him.
Pls come inside. Help.
I don’t breathe the entire time I stand there, at least not until I hear the familiar tone and look down and see his response.
Omw.
It’s stupid, but with the way everything’s been since that day, I’ve felt more confident moving through the halls, even with the looks. All of that can change though and as I turn and face the guy that called my name, I realize that if he keeps looking at me the way he is, it’s most definitely going to change.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, Isabelle. I just wanted to say sorry.”
He’s kidding right?
I shake my head, not wanting to hear the lie and he takes a step toward me. My body, frozen in place, can’t even move to step backward.
Where’s Kayden?
“I know you don’t believe me, but I swear to you. I am sorry. Amy and the others took it too far and I’ve lost my best friend because of it.”
I don’t want to believe a word he’s saying, but there’s this look in his eyes that makes me feel something other than fear. I feel bad for him. Kayden has been spending a lot of time with me, barely hanging out with the other guys anymore, so maybe there is some truth in what he’s saying. Maybe he does want to do the right thing.