Count On Me(16)

“The deal was, I’d leave your little girlfriend alone if you picked the next target and got involved. Seems to me that Tim and I are doing all the work. What’s up with that, K?”

I absolutely loathe when people call me K. The last person that did it got their face smashed into a locker. It’s irrational I know, but my mom used to call me that and ever since she split, it’s been a sore thing for me. I already want to pound the shit out of Dillon; calling me K is just making me homicidal.

“I’m letting you guys have your fun first, and don’t call me, K.”

It’s already too late when I realize I didn’t refute the girlfriend comment. Sometimes being a hot head can be a real pain in the ass. Just like expected, Dillon catches what I didn’t.

“Not even gonna try to deny the other stuff huh?”

“Watch it man, spending so much time around that girl, he’s probably all hormonal and shit.” Tim jokes, making me want to beat the hell out of them and bail on this whole thing.

Except, I don’t. I never do.

“I picked him, didn’t I? So do whatever you’re gonna do so we can get on with this. It’s boring.”

“I gotta admit, it was kinda fun hearing her yell at us over this guy. Maybe she likes him. Looks like you got some competition Kayden.”

I catch the way he says my name differently and I can’t help smiling. He might be the big man here, but he knew his place against me. I guess yesterday taught him something after all.

“He’s as much of a loser as she is. Figure they’re a match made in heaven.”

Even I have a hard time stomaching the way the words come out. I have no problem accepting that I’m a total jerk, trust me, I’ve earned it over the last eight years or so, but the words now, they feel so wrong.

Tim turns to Eric and he’s got this sick looking grin on his face. I know what’s coming. It’s something I’ve done before. Putting fear into people isn’t enough for us. It’s like going physical, we’re getting the complete rush of it all and I flinch and turn as Tim’s fist lands square in Eric’s gut. Yeah, this really doesn’t do a damn thing for me anymore.

I find myself wanting to find Isabelle. The way it felt yesterday in the car, before I had to go and turn it all to shit was nice. She’s not the only one that doesn’t smile. I mean, when you don’t have a reason to do it; it’s not that shocking when it doesn’t happen, but with her it did, more than once. Hell, the girl even managed to make me laugh.

Right now I want nothing more than to laugh again because I can’t take watching Eric’s face as he crumples to the floor like a wet rag. The sound coming from him reminds me of the way Isabelle sounded yesterday before I got her out. It’s another reminder of how wrong this is.

They’re all just wounded animals and we’re here putting them out of their misery.

“Let’s get out of here. Amy’s been talking about some surprise she has for me and well, we all know about Amy and her surprises.”

The way Dillon talks about his girlfriend is revolting, but it’s not something I haven’t heard a million times before. Shit, the girl used to be mine before she was his and I wasn’t any better. Though to my credit, I wasn’t vulgar around her. I was just disconnected.

I have to keep up with what Dillon wants from me. It’s the only way I can make sure she stays safe. I can’t walk into another situation with her like I did yesterday; I don’t think I have it in me.

That’s when it hits me. I can’t deny it anymore. What she thinks, what she’s feeling, understanding her, it all matters to me and it’s because of one seemingly simple fact.

I like her.



Belle



Six.

That’s how many times I tried to open my mouth today, trying to let teachers know what I’d been a part of earlier. Six times that I failed at it because the minute my mouth opened, the words wouldn’t form.

This shouldn’t be all that surprising, but it is. This isn’t about my own comfort level anymore. This isn’t about social awkwardness or autism, though I’m pretty sure if I could talk to my mom about this, that’s exactly what she would say it is. No, this isn’t about me at all. I need to do the right thing by Eric, even if with the way he’s acting as I pass him in the halls tells me otherwise.

He won’t look at me or at least he tries not to. He caught my eye in the hall twice and both times, he looked down and shuffled away from me. Maybe he knows that he’s taken my place and he hates me for it. Either way, I don’t like it.

It’s no surprise with the way things keep happening that I think I’m better off dead.