With a quick glance down at my watch, a pink Hello Kitty one Tristan picked out for me, I realize that I’ve wasted twenty minutes of an hour long lunch waiting for him to show up. I’d be lucky now if I even had enough time to inhale my food before having to go to my afternoon classes.
“It’s okay Ms. Taylor; I sort of figured he wouldn’t anyway.”
“If you want, you can come to the lounge with me and have your lunch. It’s just me and a bunch of stuffy teachers, but at least you’d have some quiet.”
It’s not the first time I’ve done what she’s offering me. When things become too much, certain teachers will offer up their small sanctuary in order for me to get control of myself. At least they do unless I’m too far gone and they have to call my mom to come get me. As tempting as it is to take her up on it now, I won’t. I told her the truth a minute ago. I expected this, so I’m more than okay dealing with it on my own.
“Thanks, but I’ll just go eat at my locker.”
“If that’s what you want, dear.” She answers, again the pity written all over her face as she looks me over. “But if you have any issues, you know where to come.”
Little does she realize, that’s all I am, one big ball of complicated issues.
I’ve almost made it down the stairs and to my locker without being made fun of when it hits me. The way things were earlier isn’t happening now. There are students spread out all over the place, but none of them were even looking in my general direction, much less at me. Was it really going to be that easy? Have they moved on already?
It wasn’t until I turned the corner to where my locker is that I see the reason why things have been so quiet. On the stretch of lockers directly across from my own, I see Tim, Dillon and Kayden and they’re surrounding someone I know. In fact it’s someone that was in class with me only a few minutes ago.
Eric Carmen is new to Wexfield. He has Asperger’s, which is how he ended up in Ms. Taylor’s class. We’re the same, yet different. He’s a year younger than me, but with the way the class works, we’re there for the same help so we all go through it together, regardless of our age.
He’s completely pressed up against the lockers and there’s a frightened look in his wide eyes that I recognize instantly. It’s the same look I was wearing when this all happened to me.
Keeping my head down, I make my way to my locker as quietly as possible, not wanting to alert them any sooner to my presence. Swirling the numbers on my lock around, I tune everything else out and focus on the voices, their venom all directed at the only other person in the school that actually understood what it was like to be me.
“What’s with the stutter, Eric? D-D-D-Do we scare you?” Kayden mocks before laughing. “Are you gonna be like your girlfriend and piss your pants?”
The second the words come out, my entire chest seizes up and I find it hard to breathe. Of all the people to say that, I really didn’t expect it to be him. Tim and Dillon yes, but with the way he’d been with me this morning, I thought Kayden would’ve been different. Guess he hasn’t changed after all.
“Y-Y-You shouldn’t t-t-talk about Isa-belle that way.” Eric stutters, which makes my heart break. Even with these three surrounding him, breathing down his neck, he’s still trying to stick up for me.
Eric’s better than me. I couldn’t even open my mouth, let alone do what he did.
“Look at this guy Kay; he’s got some balls talking back to us!” Dillon says and my blood runs cold. I know what’s going to happen now. It’s the same thing that always happens when someone stands up to them, but can’t follow up. Eric’s gonna pay for it. “You know what that means, don’t ya Eric?”
The smooth way he asks the question gets to me. I can’t let this happen, not to Eric. I might only end up making things worse, but I have to do something. Someone has to stand up to them. I didn’t do it yesterday because I’d been scared, but hearing the way they’re all going at him and laughing at his stutter, I’m not scared.
I’m just angry.
“STOP!” I scream, surprising myself with the forceful sound of the word.
All three guys turn around, their eyes locking on me, Dillon smirking the minute he sees me.
“Awe, the retard can speak after all.” He laughs as he shifts his elbow into Kayden’s side. “Why didn’t you tell me she could yell? I could definitely get used to hearing her scream my name if it sounds like that.”
There’s a moment while we’re all standing there, none of us moving or even looking away from each other, where I see what looks like a flash of rage pass through Kayden’s eyes. Just as quickly as it appears though, it’s gone and I start to think I imagined it. There’s no way this guy that had been so nice this morning, actually gave a crap about me now. I’m just a retard to him, same as I’ve always been.