“Understand what?”
His chest shook with a bitter laugh. “I wish I knew, Rika. I just can’t let anyone in. I haven’t touched a woman in three years.”
Three years? But he’d been out for months. No one in that entire time?
“Michael paid off guards to keep us safe, but he couldn’t shield us from everything,” Kai went on. “He watched as Will deteriorated, and I withdrew more and more. He was helpless to do anything, and he felt so guilty. Guilty, because he thought he’d incited you. Guilty, because he was free.” He took a deep breath and kept going. “He came up with the plan. Something to keep us hot and angry. Something to keep us fighting. And before we knew it, it consumed our every waking moment in there.”
And then he looked up, meeting my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
I let out a slow breath, seeing it in his eyes. I know.
Reaching out, he grazed his fingers down the side of my face, pushing my hair out of the way. “I haven’t been able to talk to anyone,” he admitted. “Why does it have to be the one person I hated only just this morning?”
I couldn’t help it. I gave a small smile and caught his hand on my face in both of mine and held it.
Kai use to be larger than life. Like Michael, only a straight arrow. Kai was the good one.
But now there was darkness there, too. His fight with me may be over, but there was still something brewing inside.
The light spilling across the floor from the hallway disappeared, and Kai and I turned our heads to see a figure in shadow filling the doorway.
“I told you to go to sleep.”
Michael.
I dropped Kai’s hands and stood, the corners of my lips turning up. “No, you told me to go to bed. And maybe I was just about to.”
I threw a pointed look, hoping he got my insinuation.
“Do you two ever stop?” Kai chuckled, standing up.
Michael remained silent as Kai gave me one last look before turning and walking for the door. He waited for his friend to move and then walked through, disappearing around the corner.
Michael turned back to me, filling the doorway with darkness again, and my stomach flipped and then tightened.
I hadn’t realized it, but I’d been relaxed with Kai here. Now I wasn’t again.
Michael hadn’t changed from before. He still wore jeans and no shirt, and I wondered where the girl was that had her hands all over him downstairs.
“Come here,” he told me.
And I did.
I walked over—going to him, just like he asked—and then I smirked as I grabbed the handle to the door and swung it closed.
He shoved out his hand, stopping it, like I’d known he probably would.
“I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you,” he stated. “I knew it the second you walked through the door tonight. I swear.”
“I don’t care,” I replied in a flat tone. “I don’t want you in here.”
And then I tried to push the door closed, but he planted a hand on it, stopping me. Forcing it open, he walked through and slammed it shut behind him before pulling me in and swinging us around, so my back was against the door.
“I stopped them.” His breath fell over my face. “I chose you over my friends.”
“Yeah, it looked like it downstairs,” I said sarcastically, referring to the girl in his lap earlier. “I’m tired of your games, Michael, and I’m tired of you. Get out.”
“What did he say to you?” he demanded, ignoring my order.
Kai? Was he bent out of shape because Kai had sought me out?
“More than he probably says to you,” I answered.
He breathed out a bitter laugh, and for the first time it looked like he was at a loss for words.
“Sick of my games, huh? You’ve learned to play them pretty well.”
“I’m not playing your games. You were wrong.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You want to know what I’ve learned? I don’t win by playing your games. I win by making you play mine.”
His eyes pierced me, darkening as his breathing grew shallow.
He was pissed.
I laughed, suddenly feeling ten feet high. “Look at yourself,” I joked, elation filling my veins. “You’re actually breaking a sweat trying to keep up with me, aren’t you?”
He bared his teeth and grabbed the backs of my thigh, hauling me up and slamming me against the door again. My heart jumped in my chest—the rush of fear filling my body—as the wind was knocked out of me.
And I couldn’t help it. I locked my ankles behind his back, holding him between my thighs.
“Goddamn,” he whispered against my lips. “I want you.”
“You’re not the only one.”