She put her finger to my lips, stopping me from speaking.
“Shh. Let me speak. I want you to know that I have fought my feelings for you for years. I didn’t want to have feelings for you; I tried really hard not to, in fact. I’ve known for years that you aren’t the type to settle down. I’ve seen you with other women, in the tabloids, and your playboy title speaks for itself. You have never had a serious relationship with a woman for very long at all. What I’m trying to say is I’m not interested in being dumped once you get sick of our relationship.”
She took a deep breath and went on, “After the assault in Sydney and I was told I may not be able to carry a baby to full term, I was positive I would never be good enough for any man. Especially someone like you who I know would want a child of his own. There are a lot of ifs involved there, but I do worry and I’m tired of worrying about what may never be.”
“No, Jada, I would nev—”
“Stop I need to finish please. Those recurring dreams I have; they’re because of the trauma I went through. I suffer from Agoraphobia, Max. It’s a form of anxiety and although I’ve learnt how to control it and I’m a lot better, I still have those negative thoughts. It’s like voices speaking to me. I was seeing a therapist in Sydney, and I…I think I need to go back and have more.”
I gently cupped her face, stroking her bruised cheeks softly, wiping her tears away.
“Babe, please, it tears me up to see you like this. It’s your turn to listen to me now, and listen well, Princess. First of all, if we have kids, that’s great. If not, that’s okay, too. Giving birth doesn’t make you more of a woman in my estimation. Second, I’ve not had a serious relationship because the only woman who could ever fill that spot is right in front of me. I think I’ve wanted you for a long time, Jada, I’ve just never realised it.
“We’ve been driving each other crazy, dancing around the issue for years. But the truth is, I don’t think either of us was ever ready. I love you, babe. You and only you. I’m too much of a bastard for you, I know, and you deserve someone who can be sweet and gentle, but I won’t give you up. This isn’t just sex, even though the sex is fucking hot!” She elbowed me in the ribs, and I chuckled.
“Princess, this is the real deal for me.”
Jada’s emerald-green eyes welled up with tears. Fuck, I hated to see her cry; it tore me up.
This is the real deal for me, too,” she admitted, her tears streaming down her face.
I held her close and kissed her tenderly on her lips. “I’m sorry, Jada. Even though our relationship started off with our pretend engagement just so I could take control of your shares and seal the Darwin deal, I’m not one bit sorry because it gave me you.”
“Max—”
“Let me finish. I love you. I’ve been happier these last few weeks than I’ve ever been in my life. For the first time in my life, my happiness doesn’t have a damn thing to do with work. It has everything to do with you. Being with you has changed me, changed my life completely. You are my life, Princess.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
One Month Later
JADA
We were gathered at Pep and Rosa’s house to celebrate Zane’s return to the Barossa after recuperating in Adelaide with his family. Everyone was in a jovial mood as we all feasted on Rosa’s homemade gnocchi pasta and gorged on her Sicilian cannoli.
It had been four weeks since the incident, and I was back seeing a therapist in Adelaide twice a week. I talked and cried and then talked and cried some more. It was what I needed. Although the nightmares hadn’t come back, I still expected them. But I knew that feeling of expectation would pass. Max has been my rock, even attending some therapy sessions with me. We both decided to postpone the wedding, pushing it back a few months; there was no rush. My father was more than happy for Max to take over the shares without us being married. His theory of the winery being in ‘the family’ was the furthest thing from my father’s mind now.
Almost everything was back to normal. Milan was glaring at Marco, who was on the phone with his latest flavour of the month. Our parents were deep in conversation and having a wonderful catch-up with Zane’s parents, and Mia was being the perfect host. She was hovering around Zane who was resting on the couch after the drive up from Adelaide. Zane still had his arm in a sling, and he didn’t look too happy being doted on by Mia. She was oblivious to it all; it was natural for her to fuss over and look after others.
“So, Mia, when do you finish university?” my father asked her as she passed around some more scrumptious Italian desserts. “Is it about the same time as Milan?”