Conspiracy Theory(117)
“I agree with you,” Gregor said. “But I want to understand it. There seem to be a lot of people out there who believe it.”
Tibor shrugged. “Believe what? There is more than one version of it. There is the Islamic version of it. There is the fundamentalist Christian version of it. There is the secular version of it.”
“Are the versions substantially different?”
“Not so different as you’d think,” Tibor said. “And with the fundamentalist Christians and the secular conspiracists, there’s a great deal of overlap. They read each other’s material. They believe each other’s ‘evidence,’ except it isn’t really evidence. Krekor, these things—”
“Start from the beginning,” Gregor said, giving up and snagging one of the butter cookies. Whoever made them must have used pounds of the stuff. “There’s a conspiracy to bring the United States under the aegis of a One World Government—”
“No, no,” Tibor said. “You must start from the beginning. First, a race of aliens came to earth and mated with human women. To the fundamentalists, it was Satan and his angels who did this. They mated with human women, and produced offspring who looked human, but were really reptilian.”
“Reptilian as in snakes?”
“And lizards and that sort of thing,” Tibor said. “Yes. And this race was very powerful, because they were smarter and more ruthless than real human beings. They were geniuses. They had better memories, and they could create things that we could not, and they had access to the technology of their home planet, and the advanced science there.”
“So far,” Gregor said, “there’s nothing so very odd about this. Oh, it’s odd enough to think the world is full of people who are half-human and half-reptiles, but you can find dozens of societies through the ages who have looked on more technologically advanced societies as practicing magic, because they can’t imagine actual people being capable of that kind of creativity. That’s a persistent theme in human history.”
“Very nice,” Tibor said. “This is a persistent theme among truly insane people, except they’re not the ordinary kind of insane. Now, listen. There arose this race of half-human, half-alien or satanic whatever you want. And they intermarry only with each other. And they formed the world’s thirteen richest families. And they spread throughout Europe. First, they founded the Merovingian dynasty, which was a dynasty in Europe in the area that is now Germany and Austria. And this is where it begins to get truly insane, Krekor, because there was a Merovingian dynasty in Europe, in the seventh and eighth centuries. And they were not a race of superbeings. They were idiots. Complete and utter idiots. I am not joking here, Krekor. There are factory chickens less stupid than the Merovingians were, especially at the end. They died out in the ninth century. But not according to this theory, of course, where they only pretended to die out. Do you know that we have nearly complete records of monarchical succession throughout that period of the Middle Ages, right down to our own day in some places. But when you tell these people that they tell you that these are only the fake records, the real records are hidden from sight or have been destroyed so that the conspiracy is not derailed by an outraged populace. How do they know this? They know it because once a mayor of a town in France had the basement of his town hall dug up and in that basement people say he found papers that people say were the real succession records of the Merovingian dynasty.”
“What ‘people say’?”
“People,” Tibor said. “That’s it. Not any people in particular. And there are no records of these people or of what exactly they were supposed to have said. But if you try to explain that this means you should not believe them, they tell you that it would be close-minded not to say that it’s at least possible that these were the real records of the Merovingian dynasty. Can you see this rule applied to logic everywhere? Your mother’s uncle’s cousin’s aunt heard that ‘people say’ the Liberty Bell is made out of Roquefort cheese, so you should ignore all the reports of all the people who have actually seen the Liberty Bell and think that it might just be made of Roquefort cheese. I could think better than this when I was in primary school, Krekor.”
“Stuffed animals could. How do we get from the Merovingian dynasty to now?”
“Ah, well. The years went on and all these people wanted was control of the earth, but the technology had not reached a stage where that was possible. The reptilians were the ruling families of Europe, and they were in control of their territories, more or less. They founded all kinds of institutions to recruit people to their cause and to keep their power in place. They founded the Catholic Church and put the pope and the cardinals in the Vatican and sent bishops everywhere to keep the people under control. They founded the Freemasons, where they recruited men to their causes and swore them to blood oaths to advance the reptilian hegemony. Then, in the eighteenth century, there came the great danger to their rule: the English colonies in America, which were threatening to establish a society based on the freedom of the individual human person. The reptilians went into action. They put their own people, high-level Freemasons, into positions of power in the new rebellion. And in 1776 they formed a special section of Freemasonry called the Illumi-nati, who were the most powerful of all the Masons and who were always real reptilians, not just recruits. And they got together and made their plans to bring the whole world under a single world government, controlled by them. In this, America was supposed to be key. America is supposed to be a Masonic country. There are supposed to be Masonic symbols on our money. And all of America’s presidents are supposed to have been Freemasons, including George Washington.”