Complications(29)

“But you were still so young,” she whispered, her heart breaking for the little boy he had been. It suddenly made sense why he had gone cold on her in the kitchen. She felt angry at herself for even asking him about childhood pets, but realistically, she knew there wasn’t any way she could have known. And no wonder he hadn’t adopted that freaking cat…or even named it.

He looked at her then and his brows furrowed when he noticed her crying, a pained expression suddenly crossing his features. “Ah, darling. Shit. I didn’t want you to cry.” He sat up quickly to cradle her face in his hands, the sheet pooling at his waist. He wiped away her tears with his fingers and leaned down quickly to kiss her lips. “Don’t cry,” he mumbled against her lips.

“I’m sorry,” she said miserably, embarrassed that she was crying in front of him. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. But she wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. For crying or for his obvious pain or for her anger at his father, a man she had never even met. She decided it was for all three.

They were quiet as they kissed and Alex eventually calmed her down.

But she didn’t even know what to say to him. She didn’t know what to say to make him feel better. Another I’m sorry didn’t seem appropriate, wouldn’t even begin to soothe his pain.

Alex shifted, propping up some pillows against his headboard. He stretched out against them, but he dragged her up to lie against his chest, cradling her in his arms. They lounged in comfortable silence, but Alex was the first to break it a few moments later. “I want to know more about your ex.”

She felt like she had just been slammed into a wall. Her breath whooshed out of her lungs as nerves overtook her. “What?” she asked against his chest, dumbly. “Why?”

He looked down at her, “Because you barely told me anything when we went out to dinner.”

She sighed. She felt like she owed him an explanation. After all, he had opened up to her about his father. And even though Miles wasn’t her favorite subject in the world, she would talk about him if Alex wanted to hear.

“His name was Miles. I told you my cousin introduced us after college. I had just moved back up here and I hadn’t kept in touch with a lot of high school friends, so I was a little lonely. My cousin invited me out to eat with a group of his friends and that’s where I met him. He was charming and funny and easy to talk to. It was easy to like him. And pretty soon, he was meeting my parents and my old college friends. Suddenly, he was this big part of my life.”

“Go on,” Alex urged her when she paused for too long. His voice was rough and it made her shiver. He must have mistaken it as her being cold because he wrapped his arms more tightly around her.

Her gaze dropped to the rise and fall of his chest, surprised by how safe she felt in his arms. She could feel his heartbeat under her cheek and she closed her eyes. “We were together about six years. The first few were great. But looking back now, there were things that he said in passing I should have picked up on. My friend Christie, the one I had dinner with last night, started hinting that he might not be great for me. But I didn’t listen, even if I should’ve.”

“What would he say?” he asked, his voice tight.

She shrugged, even as both embarrassment and anger burned her cheeks, “He would criticize my weight a lot. Especially later on. I could never be thin enough for him. I don’t think my body is made like that.” She swallowed thickly, not daring to look at Alex. “In the last few years, he became more controlling. He would order for me at restaurants and tell me when I could eat. If I argued with him, he wouldn’t talk to me for days. But then he would break down and apologize. It was like this endless, unhealthy cycle between us. But the most disgusting thing about it was that I let him do that to me.”

Olivia paused again, breathing hard through her nose. Alex didn’t say anything. He let her take her time and didn’t rush her.

“The last two years it was almost like we weren’t in a relationship. I wouldn’t see or talk to him for days. We had never moved in together and I was so busy with my shop that it didn’t really bother me. That probably sounds bad,” she said, nibbling on her lip.

“No, not at all,” he replied softly.

“I think I knew then that it was over. But I was so confused over everything that I never ended things with him permanently. In my mind, I somehow justified that this was the way long relationships were supposed to be. But the last few months, I started picking fights with him. If we went out to eat, I would order whatever the hell I wanted just to make him angry. If I disagreed with something he said, I would argue with him until he was shouting. I would confront him about things I let slide in the past.