I do was the end of Lucas and the beginning of Cole.
How had I not realized that earlier?
I couldn’t bring myself to say it, so I just turned around.
To go home.
***
“Hello, it’s me!” Lily answered with her standard greeting on the phone.
“Hello, it’s you!” I replied with mine. “How are you? How’s Nashville?”
“Best decision I ever made.”
Lily had dropped out of college after her mom died. She stayed in Oak Island for a few weeks after her funeral and literally packed up her bags and moved to Tennessee. The years of singing and playing the guitar paid off, she got a job at a bar as a bartender and one day they heard her randomly singing. She was now the entertainment two nights a week.
“Have you talked to—”
“No. I changed my phone number remember? He’s not going to ask Lucas for it and I already made you pinky swear that you wouldn’t tell him. Not that he’s—”
“He’s asked.”
“Oh…” She was quiet for several seconds. “Oh well. That boat has sailed to the Caribbean and isn’t planning on coming back. Jacob who?”
“Lily…”
“What? He’s the dickwad that brings his girlfriend to our Christmas party and flaunts her in my face. Then he has the audacity to try to be my best friend at my mom’s funeral.”
“Then why did you have sex with him?”
She gasped. “I told you that in secret and it was never supposed to be repeated. Now go wash your mouth out with soap. It was a moment of weakness. I don’t like him anymore.”
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.
“I don’t want to talk about him anymore. As a matter of fact… I don’t want to talk about him ever. Let’s send him to that island where girls send their mistakes to. Bye Felicia.”
I chuckled, hearing her say it with attitude and picturing her jolting her head around.
“Let’s talk about your wedding! When the hell are you going to start planning it? It’s been six months since my mom passed. I think it may be time for you to jump back into the swing of things. She would want you to be happy.”
“I know.”
“How’s Cole?”
“He works a lot. He’s got four cases that are going on now, so I haven’t really been spending much time with him.”
“So, not much has changed since I talked to you a few weeks ago.”
“Not really.”
“Why don’t you show up at his office naked?”
“Oh my God.”
“What? Not like naked, naked, that would be weird. I meant like wear a coat and be naked underneath. Guys like that. Just sayin’.”
“It would be easier if I had a job, then I wouldn’t be bored all day and waiting for him to come home.”
After Cole proposed he told me I should quit my job and concentrate on trying to find something I really wanted to do. I helped getting his office and business off the ground but there wasn’t much for me to do there anymore. I mentioned to him that I started looking for another job and by the look on his face he didn’t like it. He said he loved me being home, waiting on him, and once we had a baby… I stopped him after that.
“Have you talked to my brother?”
“You know I haven’t.”
“Right. I guess it’s for the best, dad said he’s been dedicated to Mason, his company and the house he bought, seems like he's always repairing something.”
“A house?” My heart sped up. He wouldn’t… Would he?
“Yeah.”
“What house?”
“I don’t fucking know. Some house on the water in Oak Island, I guess it’s been vacant for years and it went up for auction. He bought it and is fixing it up.”
I had to sit down. My legs couldn’t hold me any longer. “Oh my god.”
“Oh shit! I gotta go. I’m going to be late for work. Talk soon. Love you.”
“Lily! Wait, Lily!” I yelled into the phone but the call had already ended.
I looked around the room every which way as I called my mom.
“Hey, honey.”
“Mom!” I shouted not being able to control my emotions.
“What? Oh my God, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Lucas bought a house?”
“Umm, yeah what? Is that why you’re calling?”
“Yes. No. I mean… I don’t know. Where is this house? Have you seen it? When did he get it? Is he living there? Is it his or is he planning to flip it?” I asked all in one breath.
“Whoa, honey, calm down.”
“Mom, please tell me.”
“Okay, umm the house is on the water. It’s been vacant for years. They put it up on auction. It was all over town, I mean they had at least seventy people bidding for it that morning. Your dad says he paid way too much for the property, but you know him he’s going to do what he wants.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed out with my hand on my chest.
“Alexandra Marie Collins,” she scolded.
“Is he living there?” I asked, not paying her any mind. “Mom, is it his?”
“Honey, of course it’s his. Why would he buy a house that’s not his? He’s living there. He’s been living there for the last few weeks. What is going on? I don’t understand. It’s just a house, Alex.”
“No, Mom. It’s not just a house. It’s way more than that. I gotta go.”
“Alex—”
I hung up at the exact same moment that Cole walked through the front door.
“Hey, Darlin’.”
With wide eyes I stared at the wall in front of me. I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. I concentrated on just that.
“Is everything alright?” I think he sat down beside me. “Alexandra.”
“Cole…” I whispered in a voice I didn’t recognize. “Why do you want to marry me?” I finally asked, needing to know. I still hadn’t looked at him. It was easier to stare at the wall in front of me.
“What kind of question is that? I love you.”
“I know that.”
“Then why are you asking?”
“It’s a simple question don’t you think?”
“I gave you my answer. I love you, that’s it, Darlin’.”
“Okay, then why do you love me?”
“Is everything alright? You’re starting to scare me.”
“Cole, please answer the question. Why do you love me?”
“I… I… don’t… Jesus… Alexandra. I love you, that’s why.”
I peered down at my ring. “Do you know that I don’t wear jewelry?”
“Of course you do. That necklace. You never take it off.”
I shut my eyes. I had to. “I haven’t worn that in years.”
“What?” He reached for my neck not finding it. “Well, fuck. What does it matter?” he muttered.
“I’m going to ask this one last time and please, please, be honest with me. Why do you want to marry me, Cole?”
“I’ve waited so long for you. I mean you know that. You’re mine.”
“I’m your prize,” I murmured loud enough for him to hear.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He immediately stood, hovering above me. “What the fuck? Are you testing me? What is this?”
“What if I don’t want to stop working? What if I don’t want to be a stay at home mom?”
“Alexandra, why are you making problems? I want you to live like a queen. I provide for you and you take care of the home. Those are our roles. I grew up in a house where all my parents did was work. I don’t want that for my kids.”
I looked up at him. “My?”
“You know what I meant.”
I cocked my head to the side with a questioning gaze.
“What? Jesus Christ, I have let you mope around here for months. Not given you any grief for the fact you’re mourning a mother that’s not even yours. We haven’t picked a date for our wedding, and we barely even talk about it. And now I come home to this shit? You have got to be kidding me!”
“Wow, Cole.”
“She wasn’t your mom. I get being sad, but your mom is still alive. Come on.”
I buried my head in my hands. “She was like a mother to me. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Darlin’…”
“Don’t call me that. Not now.”
“I love you. We’re together now. I want to move on with our lives. I want to get married, I want to have kids, I want—”
“What about what I want?”
“I thought that’s what you wanted, too.”
“That night, Cole. The night we had sex for the first time. Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“Did you know I was a virgin?”
“Of course I did.”
“No, not right before it happened. I’m talking about the day before or the month before. Did you know before taking me into your room that I was a virgin?”
He sighed and I knew my answer.
“It doesn’t matter. I have you. We’re getting married. It doesn’t change anything. I won. You’re mine.” He sat down beside me, rubbing my back. “Right?”
I faced him, knowing what I had to do. “I can’t marry you, Cole.”