“Three months,” I stated. I knew because I counted down the days until I would really be alone. It was a ticking time clock in my head.
He glanced at me, smiling, and it eased the worry I felt in my heart.
“You going to miss me, Half-Pint?”
“Always,” I bellowed, my eyes blurring.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head and letting his lips linger. “I will always be here for you, it doesn’t matter where I am. I will always take care of you, and I will always love you. You’re my Half-Pint,” he vowed, his voice breaking.
I sniffed. “Ditto.”
“One day we won’t care what the boys think about us or what we do. On that day, we will both be extremely happy.”
I wanted to say I was happy, but I would be lying. It broke my heart that for all these years he had felt this way and I had no idea.
Did the boys?
“So… it’s Saturday night and Charlie’s throwing one of his raging parties. Let’s go,” he demanded, standing up and reaching his hand out for me. “No.” He shook his head before I could answer.
“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses about this or that. You will have fun with me. You will drink. You will dance. You will party. And that’s a fucking order.”
I giggled and rolled my eyes. “Okay.”
We spent the next several hours enjoying the night. It was the first time I could ever remember truly letting loose and experiencing being a teenager in high school.
I laughed.
I drank.
I danced.
I did everything Austin ordered me to do. I loved him even more than I did because of it. I never thought that could even be possible.
“Stop walking so fast,” I rambled, holding onto Austin’s hand.
“Stop walking so slow,” he replied, slightly slurring.
“Hurry your asses up!” Someone yelled from in front of us.
“Where are we going?” I asked, already forgetting what he told me.
“The cops are coming, the party is being relocated.”
“Oh yeah,” I laughed.
He opened my car door for me and closed it when I was firmly seated inside. He jumped into the driver’s side, throwing the car into reverse, and my body jerked forward from the momentum.
“Turn the music on,” I heard him say.
I had a hard time finding the knobs, my vision blurry and unclear.
“Half-Pint, you’re drunk,” he chuckled right along with me.
“I love this song!” I shouted when I found the station I wanted. I started to dance around in my seat, while Austin banged on the steering wheel, dancing right along with me. We stopped at a red light or maybe it was a stop sign.
I leaned back into my seat and lazily looked over at him. “I love you, Austin. I love you so so so much.”
He looked over at me. “I love you more. I will always take care of you and don’t ever fucking forget that. Now put your fucking seatbelt on.”
“Oh yeah,” I sloppily grabbed the strap behind my head as the car started to move again. “It won’t go in the buckle,” I giggled.
“Here.” He took it out of my hands. “Grab the wheel.”
“Mmm kay.” I tried to hold onto it, but the road looked really fuzzy. “Austin, I don’t think I should be doing this.”
“I’m almost done.”
I looked down for a second. At least it seemed that way. “You need to put your seatbelt on, too,” I hiccupped.
“Done.”
I smiled and faced forward, as he grabbed the steering wheel again. I went back to dancing around and so did he.
“Austin, you pussy, can’t you drive faster than that,” the car next to us shouted. I squinted my eyes to see who it was.
“If I beat you to the woods, you pay for all the beer.”
“You’re on!” Austin yelled back.
“I don’t think—”
“Hey, what were the rules?” he reminded with a huge smile on his face, he appeared so happy. I still hurt from the conversation we had earlier that I didn’t want to dampen his spirits. If he felt anything like how I felt in the last few years, then he deserved this as much as I did.
“To have fun,” I beamed.
He turned the radio up louder, and the car accelerated faster. I danced around, trying to pretend that I didn’t feel the car starting to recoil from the dirt and grass, making my body jolt around all over. I had waited a few minutes before I pressed my hands against the dashboard, trying to hold my body steady from the impact around us.
“Slow down!” I finally yelled.
“We’re almost there!”
My stomach felt queasy, I wasn’t having fun anymore. I felt scared, so I turned down the music. “You’re going too fast.”
“Relax we’re fine.”
It didn’t feel fine. I didn’t feel fine. Panic started to take control and a huge lump in my throat made it hard for me to breathe. I gasped in and out, my chest rising and descending at rapid speed as I took in our dark and dim surroundings. The cars headlights only illuminated a few feet out in front of us, making it hard to know where to go next. Austin swerved left and then right, and for a second I thought he may have lost control of the car, but when I saw the clear path ahead of us I finally exhaled out a sigh of relief.
Except it was too soon.
A tree lay out in front of us a few feet ahead, probably as a result from the last few hurricanes.
“AUSTIN!” I screamed bloody murder. It vibrated throughout the entire car as he looked over at me with regret and sorrow spread all over his handsome face. He slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. We were in Gods' hands now. I instinctively placed my arms over my face to provide a false sense of protection that we would be okay. I swear on everything that was holy I felt Austin’s arm pressed up against my chest, trying to hold me in.
Choices…
Everyone had them.
The good.
The bad.
The right.
The wrong.
The moment I heard our car crash into a tree my life was forever changed...
Like the accident, my life was on a collision course of choices and like that I had to make a choice.
I put on my seatbelt.
He didn’t.
The moment I realized that.
Everything. Went. Black.
I lay leaning with my head against the seat, my legs spread out in front of me and my arms crossed over my chest.
“Honey, you need to go home and get some rest,” Mom said.
“I’m not leaving,” I replied with my eyes closed.
“Lucas, they don’t know when she’s going to wake up,” she reminded.
“I heard the doctor.”
“Lu—”
“Mom,” I argued, narrowing my eyes at her.
She sighed and nodded. “I’m going to go get some coffee, do you want anything?”
I shook my head no.
She leaned over and kissed my forehead, whispering, “She’s going to be okay.”
I wouldn’t believe that until she opened her eyes and looked at me. Dylan and Jacob had been going back and forth between Alex and Austin’s rooms. It had been three days and neither one of them woke up yet. Austin was in much worse shape than Alex. He flew out the windshield. The doctors had put him in a medically induced coma after they operated on his brain with the hope that it would help the swelling decrease. He suffered severe trauma to the head, he had several broken ribs, burns and deep cuts on his face and chest from the airbag and windshield.
Alex’s brain was swollen from her head busting the window. No operation was needed since it was slowly decreasing on its own. Her trauma wasn’t as severe as Austin’s, but she was still in a coma. The doctor said she would wake up eventually. We just had to be patient. She had four stitches on her forehead and two on her lip. She suffered minor cuts on her face, her arms and around her body. She was bruised everywhere, along with a few broken ribs.
Her alcohol level was .16 while Austin’s was .092, the doctor said they were lucky to be alive.
It was just a waiting game now.
My body was exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t stop reeling, I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to. I would remember that phone call from my mom for the rest of my life, like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
“Alex is hurt. She’s in the ICU. The doctors say… Austin is in surgery. They were drinking… he hit a tree. They were rushed to the emergency room… you need to come home…”
Dylan and Jacob heard the news by the time I got off the phone with my mom and we all took the next flight out. People talk about having an out of body experience. You see it everywhere, on the news, in the paper. It seems surreal until it happens to you. I moved in an autopilot state of mind, I just needed to get to her. I needed to see her, hold her, and talk to her. I felt like if I did, everything would be all right.
As long as we were together.
When I saw her, covered in bruises, eyes closed, tubes coming out of everywhere and sounds blaring loudly from the machines, that will forever haunt me, I wanted to breakdown. I wanted to switch places with her. I wanted to make her wake up. The only piece of mind I held onto was that she was strong. She would fight. No matter what, she would come out swinging.
I taught her to.
We all did.
What blew my mind was that Alex was drunk in the first place. She never drank, it was so out of character for her. Something must have happened and I hated not knowing what that was. I was pissed at Austin for getting in the drivers seat when he had been drinking. He knew better, and I subconsciously held him accountable for Alex being in this situation in the first place. I tried like hell to not let that influence my anger toward him, but I couldn’t help it. He was supposed to take care of her.