I nonchalantly shook my head. I wasn’t ready to let him in like that, not this fast. I could lie to you and tell you it was because I didn’t trust him, but that wasn’t it. Cole was as sincere as they come. Over the years, our friendship would develop in ways that would have him replacing Lucas.
The truth was…
I wasn’t prepared to let that happen so soon.
I shrugged and he accepted my silent request by not pressuring me to give him more than I already had.
“Let’s talk about you,” I reiterated, challenging him to see if he would let me in right from the start or if it would also occur over time.
“I’m an open book, ask me anything.”
Well that answers that.
“You said you didn’t have many friends. Why is that?”
“Starting off with the big guns, eh?”
“Maybe.”
“Alright.” He nodded. “Duly noted. This last year was my first year at a real school, well a private school anyway. Before that, I was homeschooled. My parents wanted me to have the best education, so I wasn’t surrounded by kids my age unless I was going to charity functions or stupid shit like that.”
“That sounds sad.”
“I could say the same to you.”
I was taken aback. “To me? I have lots of friends.”
“Do you? Because I’ve only met or seen you with four.”
My eyes moved all around me, contemplating what he insinuated.
“I told you, we’re more alike than you think. Something tells me you already knew that, too. Or else you definitely wouldn’t be here.”
I glanced over at the side of his face and he appeared deep in thought.
“Cole.”
He turned to face me.
“I think I’m going to like us being friends.”
“I know I’m going to want us to be more,” he simply stated.
“Duly noted.” I grinned followed by a quick nod. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get lunch.”
He trailed close behind me and I knew he wanted to grab my hand, I could sense it. I think that’s why I kept them folded over my chest. I didn’t want to give myself the option.
Of letting him.
It didn’t take long for us to get to my parents’ restaurant. I showed him a few more sites on the way there and we laughed the entire time, enjoying our banter and not taking the seriousness of our conversation from the lighthouse with us.
I saw them as soon as we walked into the restaurant and I should have known better. I did it to myself. Again it had me contemplating whether I did it on purpose or not. Subconsciously wanting to hurt Lucas.
“Half-Pint,” Dylan hollered, waving me over to their table. Aubrey sat beside him. Jacob was next to her with Macy, a girl he had started seeing. Across from them were Austin and some girl I had never seen before, but right in front of Dylan sat Lucas with Stacey firmly wrapped around his arm. I swear she held him tighter when she saw me.
“Come on,” I said to Cole, who immediately grabbed my hand, leading the way to their table. I watched Lucas’ glare go from him to our interlocked hands.
To be completely honest, I was shocked as hell, too. Cole knew everything without me ever having to tell him, and I learned it at that very moment.
If he could see it and he had just met me then why couldn’t Lucas?
“Hey,” I greeted to everyone, averting my eyes from Lucas whose scowl burned a hole at my side.
“Well… well… well… lookie here, our Half-Pint’s on her first date,” Jacob announced, smiling as big as the Cheshire cat.
“It’s not—”
Cole wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his side. My hand instinctively went to his chest, while he kissed the top of my head as if he had been doing it our entire lives. At that moment, it felt sincere and loving, almost like it was one of my boys doing it. I loved the feeling it gave me, providing a comfort that I was safe from anyone just like with them.
“It’s not going to be the last either,” Cole interrupted, taking me away from my thoughts and continuing to bait Lucas.
That much I did know.
“It’s alright, Half-Pint, I can feel your anxiety from here. Your mom already informed us that we’re to be nice to Cole and that you were on a date. Can’t say I’m not hurt that you didn’t tell us yourself,” Dylan exclaimed, dramatically placing his hand over his chest.
Aubrey slapped him on the back of the head. “You leave her alone, Dylan McGraw! Or else you’re going to have to deal with me, and we both know that you won’t win that,” she chastised.
I couldn’t love Aubrey more than I had in that second.
“Alex, why don’t you join us, let the boys here get to know Cole,” she added.
Dylan didn’t correct her, which I found odd. He never let Aubrey have the last word. I wondered if they had fought about this before, I always knew Aubrey had my back, but I never guessed how much until we were older.
“Maybe another time, I’d like to have Alex to myself on our first date and all,” Cole responded, making all the girls swoon at the table.
“I thought it wasn’t a date,” Lucas chimed in out of nowhere. All eyes moved to him except his were directly pointed at me, and I connected with his intense glare. It made my heart pound and my mouth dry. I prayed that Cole couldn’t feel my body shudder, but when he held me firmer, I realized he could.
“At least that’s what you said this morning. Twice, I believe,” Lucas goaded, only looking at me even though it was meant for Cole.
I didn’t know what to say, and everything I wanted to reveal would only embarrass Cole and he knew it. It was always a tug of war between them.
“Bo,” I warned in a pleading tone.
I grinned, knowingly eyeing Cole. “Just repeating your words, Half-Pint. Don’t want Cole to get the wrong idea.”
The tension radiating between us was too much to bear and everyone at the table could feel it. For the first time, I didn’t give a flying fuck if the boys suspected something. If he thought he could lay a claim on her in front of me and expect me not to call him out on it, then he had another thing coming.
“Is this your girlfriend, Lucas?” he asked, smiling at Stacey.
And the motherfucker went there.
She giggled. “Hi, I’m Stacey, we don’t need to put labels on things to know how we feel about each other.” She kissed my shoulder.
Cole nodded, mockingly. “Right… nice to meet you, Stacey.” He then turned to Alex. “I think you said you were hungry, let's go feed you, shall we?” He looked back toward the table. “Nice seeing you all again.”
“I’ll see you guys later,” Alex half-whispered, being led away by the fucking douchebag. I wanted to punch that smug pretty boy face once and for all.
Nobody said anything about the altercation, it’s almost like they knew better or something. I tried not to watch them for the rest of the day, but I couldn’t help myself, my eyes gravitated toward them. Every time he grabbed her or touched her I wanted to hurt him. His hands were on her constantly, and at times I thought she tried to back away but couldn’t for very long. She liked his advances on her and that’s what killed me the most. She knew I was there.
Was she purposely trying to hurt me?
Had I done that to her with Stacey?
In my mind, the answer was always no, but what if she saw things differently? How did I not notice that?
I hadn’t seen anyone ever have an effect on her as he did, and I hated him even more because of that. She was attracted to him and the easy manner they had with each other made me sick to my fucking stomach. She wasn’t allowed to have that connection with anyone but me because in my mind and heart I never had it with anyone but her. It was always her. She had to know that.
How could she not know that?
So I patiently waited till it was my turn and there would be no holding back my goddamn tongue this time. I would tell her how I felt and what I wanted. I was over playing these fucking games where we thought about everyone else, except what we wanted. I didn’t care about the consequences of my words or my actions. In the end, I would have her and that’s all that truly mattered to me.
When they left, I stayed around for a bit and then dropped off Stacey. Giving him plenty of time to take her home and for her to get to our abandoned house. I just knew she would be there. She had to be. That was the point of us. I ran up the porch stairs ready to bare my heart and soul with her. Ready to take her in my arms and tell her that we were done with the bullshit.
That I loved her.
That I always loved her.
That I would always love her.
When I shoved the door open, it made a loud banging sound off the receding wall and I swear it mimicked my fucking heart. It gutted me and almost brought me to my knees. She wasn’t there. I looked everywhere and there was no sign of her being at our abandoned house at all, it wasn’t like I had missed her or anything, she was just never there. I couldn’t fathom how that was even possible, especially after our afternoon encounter.
Did she not care anymore?
Was I that easy to replace?
The more I thought about it, the worse it fueled my anger and temper. The worse the hurricane that lived inside of me built, becoming something unstoppable and unforgiving. It took me right along with it. I couldn’t control it. The thought of them being together and her not caring about me anymore raged inside of me, it seared to the point of pain. Hours went by and still no sign of her. She didn’t rush to see me like I assumed she would. I wasn’t even on her mind.