“I really don’t even care about the race. Honestly.” He waved that off. “This wasn’t my circus. All Jack’s idea.”
“Why did you decide to finish it with me then?” she asked quietly. “You didn’t have to.”
“Yeah, and that turned out so terrible.” He laughed and kissed her shoulder. Somehow she’d gotten the impression that he’d wanted to keep going because the finish line beckoned. “Let’s just say I had a feeling it was the right thing to do, and I’m pretty sure that’s still true.”
He’d done it expressly to give her an adventure, to help her out of her rut, never dreaming she’d wind him up inside so much. As adventures went, he could find little to complain about.
Except she’d done so much more than figure out how to talk to him. She’d dug under his skin a bit too. Unexpectedly. He fished around for a sheet to cover them both. The sense of exposure had returned full force, and he didn’t like it all at once.
Whatever his name was, Fitz might be the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Lilah watched the fire for a minute or twelve, weighing what to say, how to manage all the things bursting through her mind. The crackle mesmerized her, flames dancing, lulling her into believing they could talk about anything and everything.
Or at least that was her excuse for why she blurted out, “You’re so patient and kind. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“I’m no angel,” he countered, and his hand stilled on her neck where he’d been lightly caressing her for the longest time in a shiver-inducing experience that she was not ready for him stop.
She bit her lip. Should’ve kept her mouth shut.
No. That had been her default for so long. She should be able to say what she felt. Wasn’t that what he’d been pushing her to do? This adventure wasn’t about winning a game but about learning to live.
“You’re a nice person. You didn’t have to do this race with me. You didn’t have to pose for me or try to help me through my ridiculous inability to be a normal, functioning human being. But you did because… I don’t know why.”
Maybe he liked her enough to want to spend time with her? He’d started to feel like the fates had thrown them together for a reason? Or was that just her?
Cue the panic. She was so far out of her depths here. What did she know about the dynamic between men and women? About relationships? Nothing. And now her chest hurt.
His lips touched her shoulder, and that loosened her lungs enough to let her breath. See? She could so talk to him about anything, and it was okay.
“Because you’re worth it,” he murmured, and everything hitched inside. Lungs, heart, core. Of course, they’d all been working in tandem since the moment he’d first kissed her.
And he was wrong. He was some kind of earthbound angel sent to her, and she didn’t discount that miracle in the slightest. The thrill of Fitz shot her into the stratosphere.
“Also?” he continued. “Normal is overrated. I like you the way you are, even when you’re being awkward.”
Her cheeks flamed as her rocket to the stars crashed and burned. “You think I’m awkward?”
Of course he did. She was a walking disaster.
“Sure. But aren’t we all at some point? It’s not what defines you. It just makes you cuter than all the other girls who don’t know how to be themselves.”
Her eyelids pricked unexpectedly. “That’s the best thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
When she’d confessed that she’d never been in love, she hadn’t expected to be halfway there before the night was through. But if he didn’t want her to think he was wonderful, then he should stop being that way.
“That’s because you don’t talk to people, silly.”
She could practically hear him smiling. He did it with his whole body, as if a smile was really an extension of the state of his soul—happy. And why wouldn’t he be happy with his life? He was gorgeous, self-assured, smack in the middle of a job he loved. His world stayed rosy twenty-four seven.
“Talking to you, aren’t I?” she shot back and sighed as his arms shifted to snuggle her closer. The sheet slipped a little, and he pulled it up because that’s what he did. Took care of things, tossing his invisible cape over his shoulder with confidence as if it didn’t matter what he did. It was going to work out.
“How did you know doing this race with me was the right thing?” she asked, a bit fascinated by the idea that some people could forge ahead with life, unafraid, unapologetic. Might be a good time to learn how to do that.