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Color Blind(56)

By:Vivian Ward




Yeah, such good care that I don’t know how I’m going to provide for us now. I returned her hug as I smiled down at her. “I’m going to have to start job hunting tomorrow,” I sighed. “I hope I can find something with decent hours. At least something that doesn’t have swing shifts.” This was the lowest I had felt about myself in a long time.



“How about if I treat us to dinner?” Dale offered.



“Yes!” Nevaeh exclaimed as she put down her tablet. “Can we go to Ponderosa?”



“Ponderosa? Don’t you want to go someplace nicer?” Dale asked her.



“It’s her favorite,” I interjected.



“Oh, well if it’s her favorite, then by all means, that’s where we have to go. After all, we are celebrating the enormous success of her fundraiser.”



Over the next few weeks, my emotions were on a full-speed roller coaster as I tormented myself about whether or not I did the right thing. On one hand, I knew I was an excellent mother. I did what any mom would do in my shoes: take care of my child, but, on the other hand, I also let our only source of income go right out the window. I scoured over the newspaper ads searching for a job in which I was qualified for. It seemed as though the only jobs I could do were ones that offered horrible hours, such as straight graveyard shifts or rotating swing shifts. There was no way that I could work either of those. I needed a straight day job.



Sensing that I was down and at the end of my rope, Dale decided to take me out. He planned a romantic evening with just the two of us, making it my little get away from reality. With the help of some friends, he was able to reserve a private table at an upscale restaurant on The Landing in downtown St. Louis.



“I’m taking you out tomorrow night,” he said as he rubbed my shoulders.



“We can’t leave Nevaeh,” I said.



“I’ve already called Lorraine and she said she’ll sit with her. You’ve been so stressed out lately that I thought you could use a night out. These neck and back muscles are so tense.”



“I know,” I said as I rolled my head, trying to loosen up. “Where are we going?”



“It’s a surprise so I’m not at liberty to say, but you will need to wear something dressy.”



“Oh, Dale, you know that I don’t have anything really nice, plus I’ve gained almost 15 pounds since I lost my job. All I do is sit around and eat. I’m nearly as big as the house. Pretty soon, you’ll be singing that Fatty, Fatty song.”



He laughed, “The what song?”



“You’ve heard it, right?”



“No? Sing it for me.”



“Fatty, fatty two-by-four, can’t fit through the kitchen door!”



Laughing hysterically, he replied, “No, I’ve never heard that song. Where in the hell did you get that from?”



“My brothers used to sing it to me when I was a kid. I told you they were a bunch of asses.”



“That’s terrible. I’m sorry that I laughed.”



“No, it’s okay. It actually kind of is a funny song, as long as you’re not a teenage girl.”



“And you look beautiful. You can’t even tell that you’ve gained weight. Just wear a nice skirt and a blouse.”



“I don’t know Dale. I really don’t feel like going out,” I sighed.



“Please? What if I bought you a lovely pair of earrings to go out with? Would you let me take you to dinner then?” he teased.



“Maybe. No, seriously, I’ll see what I can dig up out of my closet that might fit. What time are we going?”



“I made our reservations for 6:30 PM. We should probably drop Nevaeh off at Lorraine’s house about an hour before so we have plenty of time to get down there in rush hour traffic and get parked and everything.”



“Okay, but I’m just telling you right now. I haven’t been feeling too hot so if I poop out on you, it’s just because I’ve worn myself out lately.”



“We’re going to have a great time. You just make sure you get plenty of rest and I’ll come pick you up.”



The next day, I was so tired. I tried napping in the afternoon, but I couldn’t fall asleep with the sun beaming through my windows. Restless, I rifled through my closet, attempting to find an outfit that would fit me. I finally settled on a dress that I’d bought when I first got pregnant with Nevaeh. It was a classic black dress with a V-neck that twisted around the V-line and tied in a neat knot. I liked it because it was the perfect length; not too long and not too short. It also showed off my figure, flattering my stomach, giving it a flat appearance.