I called my family when I woke up, eager to see if they could make it over to the house on Saturday. My mom and little brother Terrance said they’d be there, but Jason couldn’t come. Tony said he’d come too, but could only stay for an hour or so. As Saturday morning approached, I found myself more nervous than I’d been all week—and that was saying a lot.
As my mom and brothers gathered in the living room, I had Nevaeh play in her sandbox in the backyard. They eyed me suspiciously as we sat down.
“So why’d you want all of us together?” Terrance asked.
“I needed to talk to all of you about a couple of things and figured it would be best done in person. First, I want to speak about Nevaeh and her condition,” I started. They had a lot of questions about her disease, and I did my best to answer them. I noticed Tony watching the clock.
“Hey sis, I hate to stop you, but I gotta go. We’re having a basketball game at the park this afternoon and I got $50 ridin’ on it. Gotta shoot them hoops, know what I’m sayin’?”
Shit. I gotta do this fast. “Okay, but before you go, there’s something else really important that I need to say. I’ve been dating this amazing man, his name’s Dale Halloway, and…” Tony cut me off.
“That’s great sis, see ya later,” he kissed me on the head.
“Wait! That’s not all. I wanted to…” my mom cut me off.
“You’re not pregnant are you? Child, if you’re pregnant, I’m gonna beat your ass,” she threatened.
“No, ma, I’m not pregnant. I wanted to tell you that Dale is white.” The entire room fell silent and you could cut the tension with a knife.
“You’re what?” my little brother, Terrance, asked. He looked pissed! They all looked angry, actually.
“I know that none of you are going to like this, but Dale’s been very good to us. He brings us dinner, he comes over to the house to hang out and he’s even offered to help pay for Nevaeh’s medical expenses,” I tried to make him sound good.
“You better break up with him, Kimberly,” my mom said. “We can’t have you dating no white man. Girl, what the hell is wrong with you?” she scolded.
“Ma, I know what you’re thinking. But Dale’s not the crooked white cop that shot daddy. He’s a good man. We’re having a barbecue tomorrow if you’d like to come over to meet him.”
“Oh, this is some bullshit,” Tony said as he opened the door and left.
Tears began to roll down my cheeks as my mom and little brother stared at me. They were fuming.
“How could you betray us like this?” my mother hissed at me.
“Mom, it’s not like that….”
“Come on, Terrance, let’s go,” my mother jerked her purse up off the couch as they got up to leave.
“Momma, please,” I begged them to stay. “Terrance, please, listen to me. He’s a great guy.”
“Ain’t no white man gonna be part of our family. Ever!” he looked down at me with a stern look on his face. “Come on, Ma, lets’s go.”
I spent most of the afternoon crying. There was no way that Dale and I would ever work out. My family made it very clear how they felt about our relationship. How am I going to end things with him? I couldn’t let my family hate the man I was falling for. I would have to break things off with him if I wanted a relationship with my family. Nevaeh would be so sad; she really liked him.
The next day when Dale came over to barbecue with us, I decided to talk to him about my family and our relationship. It wasn’t long after he came over, he started asking what was wrong.
“Nothing,” I replied, not wanting to talk about things in front of Nevaeh.
“I can tell something’s bothering you. What is it?”
“Can this wait until after dinner?” I raised my voice, nodding towards Nevaeh.
“Fine,” he answered as he chewed his food.
For the rest of dinner, we avoided eye contact. For me, it was mostly out of shame and frustration. For him, it was anger. He hated not knowing everything that I was thinking. It drove him nuts to know that I was keeping something from him. After we had finished eating, I sent Nevaeh off to her room to play so we could talk.
“Listen, Dale, I warned you about this before,” I began.
“Warned me about what?”
“About my family and how they wouldn’t approve of our relationship. I spoke with them about us and they’re not happy.”
“What does this mean for us? We’re not breaking up; that’s not an option,” he declared.