Color Blind(28)

“Dale, I can’t do that.”



I was frustrated at the entire situation with work, Dale and not knowing Nevaeh’s condition. I politely asked him to leave and give me some time. Things were moving too quickly, and aside from figuring out things with us and Nevaeh’s condition, I still had the problem with my family at hand. I still hadn’t told them about Dale.



By the end of the week, my nerves were getting the best of me. I’d waited all week to find out the results of Nevaeh’s blood work. Battling with her symptoms, very little sleep and a stack of piling bills, I was near the end of my rope. I anxiously waited by the phone all day Friday, hoping the doctor’s office would call.



As I waited by the phone that afternoon, she thought about mine and Dale’s relationship. Although we’d only went on one actual date and he’d hung out with us several times, I sensed a deep connection with him. I was able to be myself around him, despite the insane amount of money he had, and I was completely comfortable with him. It was apparent that he obviously cared a great deal for Nevaeh. Still, I couldn’t get over the fact that he offered to pay for all of Nevaeh’s medical needs—especially without even knowing what they actually were yet. That was the news I was still waiting for.



I must’ve checked on Nevaeh a dozen times in the last few hours as I nervously waited for the phone to ring with some glimmer of hope that my daughter was going to be fine. As far as I remembered, the only other time I’d been this anxious over Nevaeh was when I was nearing my due date. I couldn’t wait to meet my baby girl, I’d already picked out her name: Nevaeh Renee. Nevaeh because it spelled heaven backwards, in honor of my father, and Renee as a tribute to my mother. In some ways, Nevaeh even reminded me of my dad and mom; she certainly had my mom’s sense of humor.



Just after two o’clock, my phone rang; it was the doctor’s office. I took a deep breath as I answered the phone. My heart raced as I responded to the phone and I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears.



“Hi, this is Janice with Dr. Herber’s office. May I speak to Kimberly, please?”



“This is her.”



“Hi Kimberly, Dr. Herber wanted me to call you regarding Nevaeh’s lab results that came in today.”



I held my breath, “What did they say?”



“Dr. Herber would like you to come in to discuss them. Can you make it in around 4:30 today?”



“Uh,” I was caught off guard. This had to be bad if they wanted me to come in. “I guess so. I’ll have to call my friend to see if she can come sit with Nevaeh, but I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”



“Okay, great. We’ll see you then.”



“Wait, are they bad? Is that why I have to come in?”



“There were some things that appeared on her labs that he’d like to explain to you in person and answer any questions you may have.”



“But were they bad?”



Janice wasn’t at liberty to say. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to come in and see the doctor.”



When I hung up with the doctor’s office, my gut dropped and I felt like I was going to vomit. After I had checked on Nevaeh, I headed to the kitchen call Lorraine. As I dialed the number, I began coming unglued.



“Hello?”



“Lorraine, the doctor’s office called today,” I stopped. A lump began to form in my throat as my words escaped me.



“What’d they say?”



“They said that I have to come in.”



“Why? Is everything alright?”



“I don’t know. They wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone.”



“Do you need me to come sit with Nevaeh for you while you go or does she need to go to the appointment with you?”



“No, she doesn’t need to go. Would you come over?”



“Sure, I’ll come right now.” Lorraine could hear Kimberly beginning to break down on the other end of the phone. “It’s going to be okay. We’re here for you guys. I’m on my way.”



“T-thank you,” I finally mustered. “I’ll see you when you get here.”



Within 20 minutes, Lorraine was pulling into the driveway. I was waiting for her on the front porch. The fresh air seemed to do me some good and calm me down.



“Are you okay?” she asked, hugging me.



“No. I’m scared, Lorraine.”



“Let’s go inside. Where’s Nevaeh?”



“She was sleeping earlier. She might be awake by now.”



We went inside and checked on Nevaeh, but she was still asleep.