Collide(80)

Autumn tried to smile at him but she was crying too hard. When she tried to step away, she stumbled slightly and Adrianna reached out to grab her. She looked at Noah. “Room 2025. I’m going to help Mrs. Bradshaw downstairs. Just…I don’t know you, and don’t understand what’s going on with you and Cooper. Even though I don’t love him, I care about him. He’s my friend, and I don’t want to see him get hurt.”

Cooper was Noah’s first true friend. The first person he’d trusted. The happiest times of his childhood, or hell, his adulthood, the man had been a part of. “I would never hurt him.”

Noah turned and headed for Cooper’s room. Slowly, he pushed the door open. Coop’s eyes were closed, the blanket pulled up. He had bandages and a sling on one of his arms. Noah’s heart pinched seeing Cooper like this.

He was only a few feet away from the bed, when Cooper’s eyes fluttered open. The second he saw Noah, a smile spread across his face. Finally Noah felt like he could breathe.

With that fucking smile, they had to be okay. Had to.

“No..ah.” Cooper’s voice was pained, raspy.

Noah grabbed his lover’s hand. “Does it hurt to talk?”

Cooper nodded.

“Do you want me here?” Again he held his breath, needing the answer to be yes.

“Ye-s. Fuck—yes.”

Thank God. Bending over, Noah kissed his lips. “Then don’t speak. Words can wait till later. I just want to hold you, baby, and make sure you’re really okay.”

He didn’t pretend there weren’t things they needed to discuss. Cooper might still want him, but that didn’t mean he was ready. It didn’t mean he could claim Noah the way he needed to be claimed by the man. But right now, all that mattered was feeling him and knowing he was really there.

Noah tried to sit in the chair but Cooper tugged on his arm and nodded his head toward the bed. Noah climbed in beside him, wrapping his arms around the man. There was nowhere else he wanted to be.

***

Cooper slept with Noah beside him. He internally cursed every time a nurse came in to check his vitals or give him medication. All he wanted to do was lie with Noah. It didn’t matter that news would obviously spread after this. That people would find out before Cooper had the chance to talk to his work. He just wanted to lie with Noah. Needed to lie with him.

And so he did, as much as he could. For two days. Noah left to eat or change clothes but he always came back. When Cooper tried to talk to him, Noah would tell him to wait, that they could talk later.

Braden came to see him with Wes, which surprised the crap out of Coop. Jules and Heather had shown up too, both of the women surprised to see them together. Despite the fact that he’d never led Jules on, Noah had left to talk with her for a while. Cooper respected him for it.

He didn’t know what went down to make it that suddenly everyone came in, when before he had no visitors, but he didn’t care. Noah told everyone not to expect an answer from him, and growled at Cooper every time he tried to speak.

And Cooper growled right back at him. Cooper could take care of himself, but that didn’t mean he also didn’t like the fact that Noah was so worried about him.

Partially, he was glad he didn’t have to talk much. When he did, he would have to tell Noah about his mom and Vernon. The thought made him ill.

On the third day, Noah sat on the chair beside the bed, running his fingers over Cooper’s shortly cropped hair. “You scared the hell out of me, Coop. I know you go into burning buildings for your job, but this was different. You gotta stop holding yourself responsible for them. It’ll make you screw up. You made a rash decision.”

Cooper’s throat was still tender and his voice off, but he managed to speak a little more easily. “Saved…that…kid.”

“I know.” Noah leaned closer. “And, I’m so fucking proud of you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you ran into that house to save your parents. You can’t think that way. You’re going to get yourself hurt.”

“It’s my job,” he whispered softly.

“You know what I mean.”

Cooper nodded, because he did.

“It wasn’t your fault. I’ve said it before, but I don’t think you’ll ever truly be able to move forward until you accept that. Do you think that kid you saved could have gotten you out of the house? He’s just a kid, man, and so were you. Their death wasn’t your fault. Everything is not your responsibility. Just like dealing with my crap when we were kids wasn’t, and making your uncle happy, isn’t. You can’t control everyone’s feelings and be what everyone else wants you to be, baby. And…,” Noah squeezed his hand. “No matter what I said to you. When I told you if we moved forward you were mine, staying with me isn’t something you have to do either. If you’re not ready, then—”