The mug almost tumbled from Noah’s hand, not expecting the other man to say something so serious, especially so quickly.
Before replying, Noah took a much-needed drink before setting the mug down. “Christ, that’s huge, man. What do you think about it?”
“I think, I don’t want her to die.” The anguish in his voice, squeezed Noah’s heart. His problems were small, like nothing compared to what Wes was dealing with.
“I know you don’t. You feel helpless, I’m sure. Maybe it will help to focus on the things you can change. If you can’t alter the outcome with your sister, you move to the thing you can, which is her daughter.”
Wes drained his beer before pouring another. “Why would she want me to keep Jessie? It doesn’t make sense. I’m a single, gay man. We have another sister. Did I tell you? She lives local too. She has two little ones herself. Jessie would be much better off with Lydia.”
“But she wants you to have her. There must be a reason. She’s her mama. She’s going to want what’s best for Jessie, and she chose you.” Noah was running on pure instinct here. He had no idea if he was doing or saying the right things or not. He sure hoped so.
Wes rubbed a hand over his forehead. “What if I fuck it up? What if I fuck Jessie up? Chelle, that’s my sister, she raised Lydia and me. She gave up so much to take care of us and now she’s dying. I don’t know how to not have my sister there, and I’m scared to fucking death I will screw up with Jessie. I couldn’t stand to do that, not only for that little girl, but to my sister.” Wes dropped his face into his hands. Sat. Didn’t talk. Just breathed.
“Fuck, man. I wish I knew what to say. All I can tell you is she wouldn’t want Jessie to be with you, if she didn’t think that was the best decision.”
It took Wes a few minutes to reply. Finally he lowered his hands from his face, lowering a mask into place, looking more like the man he’d seen eying him from across the bar the first night they met. “Sure you don’t wanna fuck?”
Noah laughed. “I wish like hell we could.” But he wasn’t sure Wes needed that. Didn’t want to risk doing the wrong thing, because something about the other man told him they’d end up friends. If Wes needed him with all this shit he was dealing with, he didn’t want sex to hang between them. And Noah definitely knew it wasn’t what he needed. Not with Cooper still so fresh, so…prominent in his mind.
“Then I guess I’m going to get shit-faced drunk to try and forget my problems. Tell me about your problems. I need to feel sorry for someone other than myself.”
Noah blew out a heavy breath, figuring he owed the man. “I want my straight, best friend. Want him so fucking bad, I can hardly stand it.”
“And?” Wes drank some more beer.
“And he can’t do it. He tried, but he can’t. Things are…different with us. They always have been. I didn’t trust many people as a child. I probably only trusted him, and now…? Now, I fell right back into that, only I want to fuck him on top of it.”
Wes laughed.
“But I still don’t trust very well, and when it comes to a lover, I expect things that even if Cooper was gay, he might not be able to give.” Noah swallowed, unable to believe he’d said all of that to Wes. He didn’t do shit like this. “It’s not like I’m on the hunt to settle down or anything, but I expect loyalty, commitment and he likes quantity. So yeah, we were fucked from the start.”
“Doesn’t stop your dick from getting hard for him though, does it?” Wes asked.
Noah picked up his mug of beer, “No shit. I’ll drink to that.” They clanked their beers together and both took long, deep swallows.
Wes’s eyes peered over his glass, and toward the door. When he lowered the drink, he grinned. “We’ve got company.”
Noah didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.
Fuck.
***
White, hot anger fried Cooper’s insides. What the hell was Noah doing here with the guy he tried to fuck in his living room?
Forget that he’d come here hoping to find pussy; to screw Noah out of his own head. Noah was here with the man he’d had his mouth on. The one who’d had his mouth on Noah. Cooper’s hands shook.
“You plannin’ on standing in the doorway all night, man?” Braden asked.
“Oh look. Noah’s over there. I thought you said he was busy tonight?” Jules peeked over his shoulder.
Cooper opened and closed his mouth before he replied, hoping his voice didn’t come out tight. “He is. I just didn’t realize it was here.”