Cooper sighed, his breath warm on Noah’s neck, before standing up straight again. “Wanted.”
That one word pierced a hole through Noah’s chest. It was all he needed to hear. “Then there’s our answer.” Noah dropped his hands, backed away. “It was fun while it lasted. Would have been nice to get a fuck out of it.” He winked, giving Coop a half-smile he didn’t really feel.
“You’re never happy with what you get.” Cooper didn’t even try to smile, but shook his head. “We can go back? Be friends like we always were?”
The vulnerability in Cooper’s voice tied Noah in knots. Cooper was usually the sure one. He always knew what he wanted, and always figured, things would just work out. Noah needed him to be that way about this, too. “Come on, man. You know us better than that. Plus, even if I didn’t want to be your friend anymore, you’d bulldoze your way in like always. You’re too damn used to getting your way.”
Finally, Cooper smiled. “Asshole,” he muttered.
“Takes one to know one.” The air between them was awkward, stiff, no matter how hard they tried not to make it so. This wasn’t something they could get over by teasing each other.
“Okay, I’m going to finish up these dishes.” Cooper stepped back toward the sink.
“I was about to run some errands. You need anything?”
“Nope, I’m good.” He didn’t look at Noah when he spoke. It wasn’t until he got to the door that Cooper’s voice stopped him. “Noah?”
Pausing, he turned to look at his friend. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry…I fucked it all up.”
Noah felt the weight of those words in his chest. Felt them, because he knew Cooper took responsibility for so many things in his life that he didn’t need to. Noah didn’t want to be one of them. And hell, he didn’t want to feel Cooper so deeply at all. But he did. Probably always had.
“You didn’t fuck anything up. Never have.”
Without another word, Noah walked out the door.
***
Cooper hated being weak, though he guessed that’s exactly what he was. Calling it off with Noah like that. Caving into the, what? Urge, desire, head fuck, in the first place. Whatever it was, it was over now, the way it should be.
They continued to watch football together and work on the house. Noah left often and Cooper didn’t ask where he was going. Didn’t know if he was looking for a building for his store, or maybe even a new place to live. He had every right, even though it drove Cooper crazy not to know. Maybe that was best, anyway. Things would get twisted real quick if Noah brought a guy home again, and Cooper didn’t even have the urge to bring someone home.
In the weeks since his visit with his family, Cooper had been working in the old building on the far side of his property. He wasn’t sure what it had been used for, and it needed a lot of work, but it gave him an escape, a reason to not be in the house with Noah too much, which made him a real bastard.
Coop sat on the couch at the firehouse, when Braden came in and joined him. “Why do you look like someone ran over your kitten, man?” Braden laughed.
Cooper shook his head. “Fuck you.”
“Slow night.”
“Slow nights are good.” Had it been a slow night when his house caught fire? Had the men sat around like this being bored but grateful for that feeling until that bell rang?
“No shit. I was just saying.”
It was a little over a week until the anniversary of his parents’ death. He fucking hated that day. The nightmares would probably start up again, soon. Talk about making him feel weak. Nothing did that like waking up in the middle of the night, screaming.
Coop shifted on the couch. He was working an extra, partial shift today and would be getting off soon. He wasn’t sure if he looked forward to that or not. Fuck, I’m being a pussy. He needed to get over it and get over it now.
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Don’t have any plans. What’s up?” Braden asked.
“Feel like getting out? Have some beers or something. It’s a Friday night.”
A slow grin spread across Braden’s face.
Jackpot.
Braden was always up for a good time. If the guy was off, he was almost always looking for something to do. “Do you ever have to ask me if I want to go out? The answer is always, yes.”
Cooper nodded. This was exactly what he needed. It wouldn’t bring back that connection he missed with Noah or the friendship that was slightly strained. But maybe if he went out, had a good time with a woman, it would get wanting to have Noah Jameson out of his head for good.