“What? Why would you want to do that?”
“So I wouldn’t have to drive in every day. If this place is going to be mine, I don’t want to be an hour away from it.” Noah took care of what was his, and he didn’t feel like he could do that as well from a distance.
“Yeah, but you have time. It’s not like you have to make that decision now. Something else might come up here.”
Noah pushed Cooper’s shoulder. “Always the fucking optimist.”
“I’ll help you look. We’ll figure something out. Don’t go makin’ any rash decisions.”
They turned to head out. “It’s hard sitting around for such a long time. I’m used to being busy. Especially the days you’re at work.”
Before Coop responded, they stepped outside. “What do you think?” the realtor asked.
Noah shook his head. “The front is great. I love the display window but the back is just too small.”
The woman smiled at Noah. “Don’t give up yet. I’m definitely not going to.”
Cooper nudged him. “Yeah, that’s what I said.”
Noah chuckled, and asked her to call him if she found any other possibilities, and then they were climbing into Noah’s Mustang. They’d spent the past two weeks since the football game together. Coop went to work, but when he wasn’t there, they were watching TV, working on the house, whatever they could find to do.
Cooper gave head like he’d been doing it his whole life now, and Noah was thankful everyday, he got to be the one Coop gave it to. The only time he didn’t sleep in Cooper’s bed, were the nights Cooper worked. It felt wrong for some reason. When Coop was home, it was so they had access to each other. What reason did he have when his friend wasn’t there? Noah already worried they teetered along a very steep edge; that he wanted to keep the lines wherever he could, without missing out on Coop.
As they drove down the road, Cooper said, “You never did tell me why you wanted to move so fast.”
“And I don’t really want to, now.”
What man wanted to admit getting cheated on? Especially, someone like Noah, who should have seen it coming.
“Come on, man. This is me you’re talking to. Tell me. You said back there you didn’t really think about your work, when you packed up and came home. Makes it sound like it was a spur of the moment thing.”
Noah signed, knowing Cooper wouldn’t give up on this. It wasn’t the way he was built. “I was dating this guy—David. He’s still in the military and was closeted.”
“Serious?” Coop asked.
Noah paused for a minute, considering the question. “I thought so. It’d been over a year.”
“You were in love with him?” Cooper shifted in his seat, his voice holding a surprised edge to it.
“No.” That answer came easily. “But I was committed to him. I thought he was committed to me.”
Beside him, Cooper mumbled, “Shit.”
“Yeah. My reply was a little harsher than that. I could have killed them both when I walked in on them, together. I never saw that as me, ya know? Being the kind of man someone thought they could take advantage of, and get away with.”
“All his cheating says, is that David’s a bastard, not that there’s anything wrong with you. And you didn’t let him do anything. You walked away. You’re not your dad.”
He wasn’t surprised that Cooper knew exactly what he thought—how he felt. He never wanted to be that man. The one who let someone walk all over them. “You’d think I’d know the signs though. I saw it enough, Coop. Since David hid his relationships, well I guess, hid ours; that made it easier for him to do what he did. No one knew we were together, and, therefore, I didn’t know he was with someone else, either.” Noah’s hands squeezed the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.
He’d sworn when he walked away from David, he would never hide who he was again. Not hide who he was with. And what had he gone and done? Found himself in an even worse situation. Noah not only had to keep his relationship a secret, hell, he didn’t even know if it was one. He wasn’t with a man who was in the closet, but a man who considered himself straight. Who’d always been straight, until they started fucking around.
Noah flinched when Coop’s hand squeezed his thigh. The grin on his face said he didn’t see where Noah’s thoughts went. Didn’t see the similarities. “You’re better than him. It wasn’t anything you did.”
Noah appreciated the sentiment, but he was also very done with this conversation. His body hadn’t loosened up since Coop started talking, and now Noah was drawing lines between Cooper and David that didn’t need to be drawn. They were only fucking around. Cooper didn’t even consider himself gay. He needed to remember those things. “I’m hungry. You wanna go grab a burger or something?”