And he’d liked it.
I fucking loved it. It was…normal, comfortable, incredible.
What would people say if they knew? The guys at the firehouse? Forget other people. What mattered was his uncle, and he knew damn well what he would think.
Cooper’s stomach dropped out, and he suddenly wanted to vomit. But then, he considered it had been Noah. Noah; his oldest, and best friend who had done all those things to him—with him. That made it different. Made the consequences worth it.
It wasn’t as though they were getting married. Or like they’d be announcing their…whatever the hell it was they were doing, to the world. What was wrong with just chilling out, and seeing what happened? Cooper didn’t like regrets. What if he’d tried to pull his Mom free? What if he could have saved at least her? He spent his life wondering that, and as crazy and scary as this whole thing was, he wouldn’t let Noah be a regret.
Cooper finished wiping himself off, brushed his teeth and then pulled on a clean pair of boxer-briefs, before making his way downstairs and to the kitchen.
Noah wore a pair of shorts, as he stood at the coffee pot, pouring the water in. Cooper watched the muscles in his back move. The sexy as hell dragon tattoo on his back, that Noah said he had randomly got, while drunk one night. Watched his waist as he turned. He’d looked at Noah a million times, and never noticed that there was something almost…beautiful about him.
He chuckled to himself, realizing that he sounded like a sap. Turning one of the kitchen chairs backward, he sat at it, leaning over the back. “Thanks for last night. That nightmare kind of snuck up on me. I’m trying not to be embarrassed.”
Noah turned to him. “Not the first one I’ve seen. No need to be embarrassed.”
No, it wasn’t the first. Noah had heard a lot of them when they were kids.
Noah pulled two coffee cups from the cabinet, filled them both and then set them on the table. There was already a sugar bowl there. Cooper watched as Noah grabbed the creamer from the fridge, and then sat across from him.
They made their cups in silence.
This was ridiculous. “Why are we acting like someone died?”
Noah shook his head but Cooper could see a smile curling his lips, hiding behind his coffee cup.
“We need to take this seriously, Coop. You came in my mouth last night, and while I want nothing more than to taste you again, you can’t tell me you’re not the least bit confused by it. We go back too far to jump without thinking. That can’t end well.”
Cooper tried not to roll his eyes. This was typical Noah. He’d always been the one who wanted to think things through. Who’d try to get Cooper to stop whatever it was he wanted them to do. “I’m pretty sure we already jumped.”
Noah sighed. “You know what I mean.”
“You want to know what I think? I think what we did felt good. Neither of us have had a whole lot of good, Noah. Not when it came to how things felt on the inside. I’m not gonna sit here and try to pretend I understand this, or to give us a name, or even to lie and say that yeah, there isn’t a part of me who thinks it would be smarter to forget it happened. A part of me who doesn’t wonder what the hell is going on, or what this means to me, even exactly where it’s going. But the bigger part of me doesn’t give a shit about that stuff, and wants to keep going. Wants to see what this means.”
Noah set his coffee cup down. “I’m not your experiment.”
“Fuck you. You know that’s not what I meant. You said you wanted to suck me off again. I can tell you, there’s just about nothing in this world I want more than that, either. When I compare how I got off last night, and hell, this morning to every other orgasm I’ve had? It was different. I’m not good with words. I don’t know what it means, but let’s not fuck it up before it even starts. Let’s just…” Cooper shrugged. “See what happens. Not push it, but not fight it either.”
Cooper could tell Noah wasn’t convinced. He ignored the nerves in his stomach, stood and walked over to him. “You always meant more to me than anyone else when we were kids… Maybe this is why. All I have to do is look at you and I get hard, man. That feels too good to just run away from.”
Coop took a deep breath, before hooking his thumb under Noah’s chin and tilting is head up. Ignoring the thoughts in his head or the worry in Noah’s eyes, he leaned forward and kissed him. Traced the seam of Noah’s lips with his tongue before finding his way inside.
Their tongues stroked one another, tasted one another, a mix of coffee and mint. Just like he’d told Noah, his cock tented his boxer-briefs.