Coop chuckled humorlessly. “Freaked out. That’s a pretty safe word to use.” He set his cup down and held Noah’s stare with his intense blue eyes. “I wanted you last night, Noah. Fucking. Wanted. You.”
Noah choked on his coffee, coughing before he found a way to settle down. He didn’t know why. It was just like Cooper to spit it out like that.
“Hell, I’m scared as fuck that I still might want you, man. That I have for a while now, and, I don’t know what it means. I had a dream about you, Noah. I’ve never wanted a man before.” He shook his head. Noah reached out for him before jerking his hand back. Christ, he didn’t even know if he could comfort his own friend any longer. And a dream? Was it wrong that the thought of Cooper dreaming of him made Noah feel invincible?
“How do you feel about it?” As soon as the question fell out of his mouth, he wished he could take it back.
“Confused. How do you think I feel?” He leaned back in his chair. Closed his eyes, as if in thought. Shook his head and then opened them again. “I’ve never trusted a friend the way I do you. I’ve never talked to anyone the way I talk to you. Now, I’m all fucked up because you’re the one who has me turned inside out, yet you’re the only person I can open up about it to.”
God, was there anyone as honest as Cooper? He went through life, no-holds-barred. Noah always respected that about him. This, it seemed, would be no different.
“You can still talk to me. You always can. I have to admit, I don’t know what I’m doing here either, Coop. I’m not in your head, and don’t know what you’re thinking or feeling. Usually if I want someone and they want me, even if the world doesn’t know about it, we fuck and deal with the rest later. I’ve never wanted someone who wasn’t gay before. I—” Noah shifted.
“You want me too?” Cooper’s voice was soft…so soft Noah hardly heard him. He sounded so unsure as he asked Noah that question. It ripped his insides to shreds and damned if his cock wasn’t hard too.
“I don’t know what the best thing to say is, man. I don’t want to fuck this up and lose your friendship, but I can’t lie to you, either. Of course I want you. I’ve never wanted anyone as badly as I want you. It’s like embers that are always inside me, this slow burn that I can’t stop. Hell, I don’t know if I want to stop it.” His brain knew he should. It was why he kept trying to, but inside? Stopping wasn’t at all where his instincts led, when it came to Cooper.
Cooper leaned forward, one of his hands shaking as he set it on the table. He stared at Noah, as if shocked by his words. Struggled a minute before he finally spoke. “I don’t know if I want to stop either…but I feel like I should. This isn’t something I should want, but never experiencing it—you—that scares the hell out of me, too.”
Lust like Noah had never felt, exploded inside him. But it was more than that too. Pride and gratitude that being with Noah sounded so important to Cooper, that he would actually regret walking away. Every little thing inside Noah fought for the chance to have Cooper. “Coop…”
“I’ve never even touched a man, Noah. I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t know how I would react, but I crave it from you at the same time. All last night, I remembered what it felt like to see your hand on me. Jesus. I’m getting all sappy here.” Cooper laughed, but Noah couldn’t bring himself to do the same. His dick ached. His skin felt too tight. His hands itched to reach for Coop. To show him exactly how another man liked to be touched.
“You’re not alone in this. I couldn’t get you out of my head last night, Coop.”
At that, Cooper’s eyes shot toward him. His skin glistened with nervous sweat. Noah wanted to wrap himself up in nothing but Cooper.
“Try it again… Not a lot, just like last night. Go slow… Just…just…touch.”
Noah almost came right there. His cock pulsed in his jeans as fear spiked to all new levels inside him. “No. I can’t do that, man. I don’t want you to hate me for it.”
Cooper took another drink of coffee before turning to the side, so he wasn’t facing the table anymore. His thumb tapped against the top, as though he didn’t know what to do with it.
“I’m asking you to do it. I need you to fucking do it. I have to know, man. I have to feel it to make sense of it.” He turned his head to look at Noah. “You know I’d never hate you for anything.”
Even if he wanted to, nothing would hold him back now. Slowly Noah pushed to his feet. His legs were weak, but nothing was going to hold him back from going to Cooper. Nothing.