And then, Noah’s eyes opened. He pulled away and Cooper finally let a heavy breath escape his lungs. A plea for Noah to touch him again, echoed through his brain.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Noah said, before he stood up. “Nothing at all.”
He took a few steps backward and Cooper wanted to ask him to stop. Ask him where he was going, but he didn’t. Couldn’t. Part of him hoped Noah would walk out the door and never come back, because if Noah left, he could forget about wanting him. Coop could block these thoughts from his head and keep going the way he had been for his whole life.
But the other part… It wanted to trap him here. To find a way to keep Noah to himself, so he could explore the desires inflaming him.
“Take care of your hand. You should clean it and wrap it. I…I…” For the first time all evening, Noah skipped over his words, but found his ground quickly. “I have to go, before I do something both of us will regret in the morning.”
And like that—no shirt and all, he walked away, grabbing his keys off the table, and slammed the door.
Cooper didn’t stop him. All he could do was sit there and look at his hand.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Noah’s whole body fucking trembled. He had to try three times to get the key in the ignition. The second he did, he cranked the engine and sped out of the driveway, as fast as he could. He had no idea where he was going. All he knew was he had to get the hell out of there. He had to fight against every nerve ending, every little thing in his body, that clawed and yanked and pulled at him to go back. To go inside the house and taste Cooper’s mouth.
To feel every inch of hard, muscled skin with his hands and his tongue. To fuck him, over and over and over, even if it killed him.
Had he ever wanted anyone with the passion that he desired Cooper? His best friend? The person who helped him get through his pain because of his parents when he was a kid, and who had been ripped away from him? No, Noah hadn’t known it at the time. He hadn’t realized what Cooper meant to him, but since coming back home, he got it.
He’d probably always wanted Coop. Maybe always would.
The shitty part was, no matter how much that need filled him up, no matter how hard his cock was beneath the fly of his jeans, or how hard his heart slammed into his ribcage, he couldn’t touch, taste or have, Cooper. He wouldn’t risk losing him, when Coop freaked out about it later.
It didn’t matter that Noah saw Coop’s desire…his curiosity and maybe even a portion of the same need Noah felt. Cooper wasn’t gay, didn’t realize he was, or he didn’t want to be. And Noah swore he would never hide whom he was with, ever again. Not the way he had with David, only to get betrayed. And what chance did they really have anyway? Coop had told him before that he didn’t see himself ever being serious with someone. But hooking-up and then breaking-up risked their friendship.
Christ, he would do anything to have Cooper though.
Noah didn’t calm down all night. He drove around for hours before pulling off into a parking lot for a couple more. The sun just started to break over the horizon, his eyes heavy and rough like sandpaper, when he decided to go back home. He couldn’t stay away forever. They’d have to deal with this sooner or later, so might as well get it over with. Maybe Cooper slept it off. It could have been alcohol that inspired last night. Fuck, he hoped not. That was probably the stupidest thing he could wish for, but there was now a knot in his gut. It kept twisting and turning, doubled knot after doubled knot, tying him up more and more because of how much he wanted Coop.
As soon as he stepped into the house, he knew Cooper was up. Noah followed the smell of coffee to the kitchen where Cooper sat in the same jeans, with no shirt, like he’d been last night.
Like Noah still was too.
“Coffee’s fresh.” Cooper’s voice was rough, probably from lack of sleep.
“I smell it. Thanks.” Noah walked over and poured himself a cup.
“Of course you do. That was a stupid thing to say. I just didn’t know what to say instead.”
Sorrow pierced through him. Cooper always knew what to do. He always had the answers or at least, played it off like he did. The only time he was lost, was when he’d have those dreams about his parents. Noah hated that his friend felt that way now.
“It’s not a stupid thing to say, and it’s okay to be freaked out. No one would blame you.” Noah sat across from him and they both sipped their coffee. That ball in his stomach kept getting bigger and tighter. What if Cooper asked him to move out? Told him he couldn’t see him anymore? The thought made him want to hit something. One of Noah’s hands balled into a fist at the idea of losing Cooper again.