Sincerely,
Tina Gais
Editor-in-Chief
Onlooker Online Magazine
And crap.
I needed to do something. I couldn’t sit around anymore. I’d been more and more restless, and maybe it was time I tried writing again, so I found myself typing on the computer:
Five Ways to Keep Him Out of Your Heart (until you’re ready to let him in)
Okay, ladies. You all know that guy. He’s the guy after the guy. Whether you’ve lost a husband, a boyfriend, a lover, or had a crush that completely crushed you, life goes on. You have to move on too, and whether it has taken you days, weeks, months, or even years, eventually you get there. That’s when that guy shows up.
You start slow. Maybe you just see each other in the hallway. Then you find yourself seeing more and more of each other. You exchange smiles. You stop and talk to each other. After that it may be something more. You make plans. You follow through. You start seeing each other, and bam! After a few times, you’ve officially done what you didn’t think was possible.
You’ve. Moved. On.
But here’s the tricky part. How do you continue moving on without relapsing? How do you protect your heart, keep yourself from being crushed again and experiencing the same agony you just got over, all over again? Use these tips to ensure you don’t get crushed by that guy.
Know your limits. Don’t kiss on the lips or look into his eyes when you have sex. This causes feelings. You’ll feel intimate with him, and that wall around your heart will begin to melt. Back up. Retreat. Don’t go there!
Don’t tell him your deepest, darkest fears. When you share something close and personal, you’re opening up. This makes you vulnerable. Keep the lips shut. Change the topic to the weather, to sports, to a sale your favorite store is having this weekend. Think about superficial things, like clothes, trips, hockey. Don’t go personal at any cost, not until you’re ready. When you do, he’ll worm his way in even farther, and that wall will soon be half melted.
Do not introduce him to your friends. This is key! Even if you’re trying not to get too personal with that guy, they will. They’ll want to know details about him. What does he do? What’s his family like? Are you going to get married? If you do, will you live at his house or your place? Does he have kids? Does he want more kids? They’ll claim to mean well, but it’s a rare friend who can read the signs and keep things on the surface for you. And really, whatever happens is your fault because you introduced them. So like 1 and 2—don’t do it! Be selfish. Keep him all to yourself.
No family gatherings. If you can’t introduce him to friends, why would you introduce him to family? They’re the definition of up close and personal. Family is friends on steroids, and they’ll ask even more probing questions: about religion, how you’ll raise your children together, if you’ll invite Aunt Timbuktu to the wedding and whether your cousin from Aunt Timbuktu’s family is going to do the solo at the ceremony. I’m yelling at you and waving my hands in the air: don’t do it!
Do not leave your belongings at each other’s places. Your belongings are representations of your feelings. If you leave them, you’re leaving part of yourself behind. Keep all of yourself together. When you walk out the next day for work, take your overnight bag with you. And don’t let him leave his stuff behind either. The only approved item for the drawer on his side of the bed is a condom. That piece of rubber could be used for anyone, so there’s no sentimental attachment.
So there you have it. Follow these five steps, and your emotions should be guarded until the moment you’re ready to let that guy in. And if even this sounds too risky, there is one surefire, 100%-guaranteed way to keep your heart intact: dating abstinence. Just don’t date! Buy a dildo for the lonely nights, and fill up your evenings with friends. Use alcohol as needed.
I was the biggest hypocrite in the world, but staring at the screen, I was proud of what I’d written. I read back through, made a few tweaks, and sent it to Tina. This was the first real thing I’d written since Liam’s accident.
A sudden need to celebrate had me reaching for my phone. I didn’t think. I texted Cole: I want to do something fun tonight.
Good. I’ll plan it. Get in the car at nine. Carl will drive you. My phone buzzed a moment later. Dress in jeans, a sweater, and cowboy boots.
Cowboy boots?
Do you have a pair? I can have some sent over.
I have some. But cowboy boots?
Trust me. I think you’ll love it. I’ll meet you at the place. It takes an hour to get there.
And at nine that night, Carl was waiting for me in the basement parking lot.