Suddenly, a savage curse left him. “I should go. I came because I wanted you to know that. I’m sorry. This was a mistake.”
“Did you lie?”
He froze, his eyes clinging to mine. Or maybe I was the one clinging to him? I wasn’t sure anymore. He didn’t say anything, so I asked again. “Did you lie to me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t come to tell me about Dorian.” I knew that much. “You could’ve told Sia. She could’ve told me. Why are you here?” My heart pounded, deafening in my ears, and I took a step toward him. I licked my lips. I couldn’t keep my hands behind me anymore. I felt them reaching for him. I just wanted to touch him, just once.
One last time.
But then—
His mouth was on mine.
Finally. That was all I thought as I sagged into him.
He pushed me back against the barn. His hands cupped my face, and I kissed him back. Four months of anguish poured into that kiss. We were both starving. We tried to fill each other up, erase the hunger that had been there. I pressed against him, needing more, just needing so much more. As hungry as his lips were, mine were ravenous. As demanding, as tender—I matched him and wound my arms around his neck, lifting myself up on my toes. I couldn’t get close enough.
I had him.
I was in his arms again. I didn’t care about anything else. I just wanted him again.
I heard whispered laughter—it was the horse owners—and I ignored them. He didn’t. He pulled away and stepped back. I went with him, but he touched my shoulders, holding me in place so my arms had to fall away. His hands went back to his sides. “I’m sorry. I didn’t come here for that.” He raked a hand through his hair.
“Then why did you? Did you kill Liam? Did you lie to me?” Please say you lied. Please. I wanted the feel of his lips on mine again. I wanted his arms around me. One last night.
He shook his head, pain tightening his features. “I didn’t. No.”
“What do you mean?”
Did that mean…? He didn’t kill Liam?
“I didn’t lie to you.”
The ground fell from underneath me. Again. I looked down, as if I could actually see the black hole under my feet.
“But—”
I lifted my head.
“My family did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I told you some of my uncles betrayed me. Do you remember that?”
I nodded; my head felt so heavy. “Yeah.” Why did that matter?
“One of my uncles ordered the hit on your husband. What Dorian said was true. But I had no idea until he told you himself. There’s a hidden camera in the elevator. He must’ve forgotten about it. I heard everything he said to you, but it doesn’t matter who it was. I mean, he lied about Carl. It wasn’t him that killed your husband, but he was somewhat right. It wasn’t me who ordered the hit. But it was my family, and it was one of our other drivers.”
His eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “As for what you asked before, you’re right. I could’ve had Sia tell you.” His mouth opened. He was about to say something, then the look in his eyes fell flat. He seemed depleted now. His shoulders dropped. “I should go. This isn’t fair to you.”
“Then why are you here?”
He paused, torment evident on his face, and he let out another soft sigh. “Because I couldn’t stay away.”
“Hey, Addy.”
I looked over from the kitchen. “What?”
He lounged on the couch in his boxers with a newspaper opened on his lap. Frankie ran to him, wagging his tail, and Liam’s free hand petted him. “What’s an eleven-letter word for requiem?”
“Are you joking? How am I supposed to know that?”
“Wait. Lamentation!” He gestured to his laptop. “The good ol’ world wide web.”
Then everything switched, and he gazed at me, somber all of the sudden. “You know,” he said, “we don’t talk about that stuff, but I don’t want you to do that for me.”
My stomach got a funny feeling. “I don’t like where this is going. You want pizza tonight?” I picked up the phone. “I’ll order it.”
“I mean it. If something happens to me, don’t waste your life. I mean, yeah, be sad. Be really sad. Look at me.” He gestured to himself. “I’m a fine piece of ass. I’d mourn myself, too, but after a while, move on, okay? Promise me. Don’t feel guilty about being happy, even after I’m gone.”
My mouth went dry. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Promise.”
“Okay.” I rolled my eyes. “I promise.”