Cole(101)

“Do I want to know this?”

“You remember that shirt? Or wait. Was it his coffee mug? I think it was a mug. God…” She chuckled. “He brought his own mug to a dinner party, and he still does! The same one. Don’t Worry, I Won’t Byte, it says. When we were in the bathroom, Jake said, “Don’t worry, I will byte.” And then he spelled out byte as we climaxed. Okay. Yeah, that was too much information. But I was laughing so hard.” She still was. After a moment she composed herself. “That’s when it happened. That’s when I fell hard for him. I just didn’t know it till later.”

“Well, that is a good story.” I had to give her that.

“Not too much information?”

“Oh no, definitely too much info, but it’s fine.” I was smiling like a dumbass, and I knew she was, too. Taffy nudged the back of my shoulder, and when I turned back around, she sniffed my hand. “I should go. I’ve got a certain mare looking for food. She’s eying my phone like it’s her next meal.”

“Okay. Listen, uh—before you go, I have to tell you something.”

My stomach dropped. “What?”

“I saw him the other day.”

I knew instantly who he was. My throat started to burn.

“He’s lost weight.” She faltered, coughing to clear her throat. “He’s not around that much. I mean, I never used to see him at all, but that’s according to Dawn.”

My heart pounded. I always felt like I was holding my breath when it came to Cole.

“She said he’s been gone, but now he’s back. We saw him in the lobby the other night. Jake and I were leaving with Doris and William. That’s who we’ve been reduced to hanging out with—our hippie retired neighbors, who are awesome and hilarious. I need to add that. Oh, and Derek is going to ask Dawn out. We had another resident dinner the other week, and she apologized to me for some phone thing. I had no idea what she was talking about, but she kept asking questions about Derek the whole night, so I think he’d already asked her out. I think she’s thinking about it. I hope, anyway. She seems less obsessed with Jake, so that’s a plus.”

“Sia?”

“Yeah?”

“Cole.”

“Sorry. I get nervous when I talk about him, you know? But okay. Yes. We saw him. Doris and William were freaking out afterward. I think William had toked up right before we left. He was more nervous that Cole was going to kick him out because there’s a no-drug policy—which is how ironic? The landlord is a mafia boss, and there’s a no-drug policy—”

“Sia!”

“Okay. Yes. I know. Uh…he asked about you.”

I figured. “And you said…?”

“I didn’t know what to say, so I just babbled. Gah. I never get like this except when it comes to you and him, but man. Addison, why did you leave?”

I was instantly hot and cold, all at once. “Because he killed Liam.”

“Yeah, but…” Her voice got so quiet. “It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t think he’d be this wrecked, not if he really did do it, or ordered it. You know?”

What was going on? “Is this why you guys stopped talking about moving out? You don’t believe he did it?” Taffy kept nudging my shoulders and arms. I ignored her. “Cole said he did.” Man. I drew in a breath. I’d just said his name, out loud. It’d been so long…

…so long.

“I know.” Sia sounded quiet now, like she’d shrunk in size. “I know, but…what if he lied, Addison? Have you thought—”

I didn’t want to think about that. I could feel my throat close up. “I, uh, I have to go, Sia,” I cut her off.

I was about to hang up.

“He asked if you were happy.”

I stopped, my finger poised over the end call button. I couldn’t breathe. My lungs were on fire, and I gripped my phone like a lifeline. “What’d you say?”

She rushed out, “I told him you were. He seemed happy to hear that. So, yeah. There you go. I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to say that to him.”

“No, no.” I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say.

He’d asked about me.

He knew I was “better.”

He was happy to hear that.

I couldn’t… I couldn’t put together a thought, so I choked out, “I have to go.”

I hung up before she could say anything more. My phone went in my pocket, and I stood as everything whirled—twisting, shaking, and churning inside of me. A hurricane was caught inside my body, and I could only stand there and stare at…I looked at what I actually was focused on. A piece of straw on the floor. A single, sad, lonely piece of straw. I felt at one with that straw right then.