Seeming to sense his thought, Nathan stroked himself with one hand and he smiled that same smile Quinn remembered from that night. He expected Nathan to spit on him at any moment. To reach down with his free hand and tear his fucking head off. "You can't get enough, can you? It's like a fucking addiction for you, isn't it? You don't care who fucks you. You don't care what they do to you as long as you get your fix. You'd sell your own fucking soul for a goddamned fix, wouldn't you?"
Quinn couldn't look away. The condemnation in his lover's eyes held him enthralled. He shook his head trying to deny everything. "I sold my soul so long ago. I sold my soul the summer you left me. I sold it to the fucking devil and I've never regretted it. Fuck me."
"Demanding bitch. Lying to me and telling me the truth in the same breath. You fucking asshole. I should toss your sorry ass out and never take you back." Nathan leaned over him then, one hand on the roll bar right between Quinn's hands. "Don't fucking let go of that bar or I won't fuck you. You let go and we're done. Do you hear me?"
"Yes," Quinn spit the words. He hated this man. Hated that Nathan saw through to his dark, rotting core, maybe for the first time ever. He felt the first nudge of Nathan's hard, dripping dick. There wasn't going to be anymore foreplay. "Make it hurt."
Nathan grunted and pushed inside him. He paused long enough for Quinn to adjust to him. It hurt. Dry fucking hurt like hell. Nathan smiled down at him and pushed in deeper. Slowly. He could feel the burn. He could see the hate in Nathan's eyes, almost as if he were reveling in hurting Quinn.
He pulled out when Quinn didn't blink. He rubbed his dick over Quinn's belly, dragging cum up with his fingers to coat his dick. He'd come so much. He needed to come again. He needed to come just like this.
"Remember that night," Nathan said, his voice softer now. He lowered his face until their noses touched. "Remember, I did this for you. In your Jeep, I bared my body and my soul for you and I let you in. I loved you so much. I couldn't breathe for loving you. I held on to the roll bar and gave myself to you. I thought we would be together forever. I was seventeen years old and we fucked right here. And it didn't mean a damned thing."
Quinn winced as Nathan drove himself deep inside. Nathan let go of the bar and held himself over Quinn, their noses touching, he slid his arms under Quinn to grip his ass, he bore down on him, driving deeper until he was seated to the hilt. "You fucking cheat on me again and I'll kill you. Do you understand me, Quinn? You can't have another man without me. I will kill you." He lowered his body over Quinn until he pressed Quinn into the seat. His shoulders strained from holding on to the bar. His ass hurt like he was being split apart. Nathan rammed him, hard. Quinn couldn't touch him and his heart broke.
"Do you understand me?" Nathan shouted in his face. The anger in his eyes tearing a hole in Quinn. "Answer me."
"I'm sorry," Quinn said. "I won't do it again. I won't. Please, Nathan. Please. I'm so sorry."
"Please what?" Nathan stopped moving. His hips snapped forward impaling Quinn to the seat. "Fuck you? Is that all I am to you? Just someone to fuck?"
"Love me, goddamn you, please, fucking love me, that's all I need from you. That's all I've ever needed from you. I love you so goddamned much. I thought you were dead tonight. I know when you're in trouble. I don't know why I know. I thought they'd killed you. I thought it was you. I died again. I died that night. I am afraid to live for fear of losing you. I'm terrified of losing you so much that I'm driving you away. I can't stop it. I just want it all to stop. Just make it all stop."
He felt the hot sting of tears slide from the corners of his eyes and slip down his temples to his hair. Gray storm clouds swirled in the eyes that refused to let Quinn even blink. "Touch me, baby," Nate said softly, so softly that Quinn thought he'd imagined the words. "Touch me, Quinn."
Quinn let go of the roll bar, his shoulders ached from the position, and slowly wrapped his arms around Nathan. "I love you, Quinn."
"Nathan," Quinn said, feeling his name slip past his lips almost as if he were a prayer.
"Nate," he replied, hurt in his voice for the first time that morning.
"Nate," Quinn whispered, angling his mouth to Nate's. "I love you more than life itself."
He kissed Nate gently, licking his lips, hoping for forgiveness. His body couldn't stand much more. He needed release and he needed Nate. He needed gentle. He was tired of hurting. "Love me."