Cold Shadow (Cold Country #2)(92)
Nathan didn't need her to tell him what he could feel all the way down the hallway.
Quinn leaned against the wall at the back of the small room, he was out of the way and in the shadows. Like some silent angel watching over them. His eyes were open but he wasn't seeing a damned thing. He'd wrapped his arms around his chest and Nathan could hear him falling apart.
It had been years since Quinn had disappeared into himself like this. The first few months after Key West, Nathan would find him like this. Trying to keep it together and be what Nathan needed when he wasn't coping. Quinn could handle anything life threw at him while it was flying at him. Left alone with the aftermath … not so much.
He walked across the room. The rest of it all could wait. He needed to get to Quinn. Nothing else mattered but Quinn.
He'd done this before. Walked through a crowded waiting room to hold up this man. That time it was personal. This time … maybe this time was personal too. If it hadn't been for Drew, Quinn would be in one of these rooms. Or in the morgue. He didn't know where Drew was. He could be in the morgue for all Nathan knew. He couldn't think about Drew. Not yet.
Quinn shivered. His eyes were vacant. His face carefully blank. He was trapped in his head. Craving something he shouldn't have. Nathan could read him like a damned book now. He ran his hand down Quinn's bare arm and lifted his chin gently. "Quinn."
He folded Quinn in his arms and pulled him close. "Quinn," he whispered quietly.
A soft sob escaped his lover's mouth and Quinn leaned into him, burying his face in the crook of Nathan's neck. "You're not dead. You came back."
Nathan didn't say anything, he gently lifted Quinn's chin up again and grazed his lips over Quinn's cold mouth. The kiss went from gentle to something Nathan would never allow in public really fast. He didn't care. Quinn trembled in his arms. His tongue swept inside Nathan's mouth as if he needed to taste his essence. He warmed under Nathan's touch and stopped shivering. With a sigh, he broke the kiss. Arms still wrapped around Nathan he leaned his head back on his shoulder. "I'm good now. How about you?"
"Took a little bit of birdshot, could have been worse. A few more scars to add to my collection." Nathan meant for it to be a joke. He probably shouldn't have reminded Quinn of the other scars he wore when everything felt like some cosmic déjà vu clusterfuck come back to haunt them.
Quinn smiled. He ran his hand down Nathan's bicep to the bandage. "You need a tattoo here anyway."
Nathan squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to think about anything at all right that moment. He just wanted to take Quinn and get the hell out of here. He couldn't bring himself to ask about Lonnie, much less Drew.
"He survived. They put him on a helicopter to Bethesda a couple of hours ago. That's all I know. I'm not fed or family. I couldn't get an answer. I was hoping you would know," Quinn spoke quietly, his words just for Nathan. "He took a bullet for me and the fuckers wouldn't tell me a damned thing."
"That's more than I know." Nathan felt the kick to his gut. He hadn't expected to ever let someone else in enough to give a shit. "But he survived?"
"Yeah, they got him into surgery, and when he came out of recovery a couple of hours later, he was gone."
"Bethesda is a much better hospital, and he's a vet and a fed." Nathan hating making the excuse. It was a damned fucking excuse that he'd heard so many times. Good men were flown off never to be seen again. They were sent home in their dress blues for the family to bury while their brothers stayed behind to deal with the loss. "Have you slept? Did you eat anything?"
Quinn shook his head. He wouldn't sleep or eat until the urge to get wasted had passed. Nathan knew that now. "Where were you?"
"Sitting in a fucking interrogation room going over this fucking shit over and over and over again, like I had something to do with it," Nathan said, hearing the anger in his voice. "I need to get a shower. Some food. Sleep. Let me talk to Nat and then we'll get out of here."
Quinn nodded again and stepped away. When he stood up, his public face was in place. You wouldn't know he'd been on the verge of selling them all out for a hit of something lethal just seconds before. "Yeah, that would be fucking awesome. I can't stand hospitals."
Nathan reached out for Quinn's hand and linked their fingers. And like they were a couple of high school sweethearts, he turned to guide his lover through the throng of people to his sister.