Cold Shadow (Cold Country #2)(50)

"Okay, well, that's my cue. Looks like the party is breaking up anyway. And I'd just as soon not get stuck with clean-up duty." Drew climbed to his feet from the blanket they'd spread out on the edge of the lot in the grass. He nodded to everyone, and catching a last glance at Nathan to say goodnight, he left them behind. Misery twisting in his heart for something he could never have.

The small taste of Nathan would never be enough. Never. Never again, he swore.

Even if it killed him.





Chapter Thirteen




The night closed around Quinn, engulfing him in humid heat and perfumed air, but he didn't notice. Top down, he drove the streets intending to go home and wait for Nathan. The wind caught his hair, flinging it in his face, a street light reflected off the mirror. Laughter from the nearby bars floated to him. Uncertainty clenched his gut making it hard to breathe.

He found himself sitting in the parking lot behind the dive motel, in the back where the lights had long ago burned out. Probably as far back as his one and only stay in the place. Not that he'd call it a stay. He watched the guests from the safety of the dark. He wasn't afraid. Nothing scared him anymore. Nothing except losing Nate.

Quinn saw him then, walking with a bucket of ice and two cans from the drink machine. He wore a pair of cotton shorts and a tank and flip-flops. His hair was wet from the shower. Anger and lust swirled in Quinn's chest, invading his mind. Quinn could hear the room key jangle he was so close. 

He should go home. Nathan would be home soon. He wanted Nate so badly, needed him like he needed water to drink and food to eat. They were supposed to be driving to the Keys tonight. They would be crossing over the line into Florida right about now if they'd left this afternoon like they were supposed to.

He stopped at one of the remote rooms far in the back and let himself in.

Quinn raised the roof on the car and silently slipped through the dark to the door. No one would see him. It would be safe.

He would be alone. The room wasn't big enough for more than one bed. It wasn't designed for long-term use. Quinn didn't know what he was going to say when he opened the door. But he knocked anyway and waited for him to open.

"Quinn," Drew said, looking past him into the night as if expecting someone else.

"He's not with me." Quinn didn't wait for Drew to invite him inside. He grabbed Drew roughly, pushing him inside. The door banged closed behind him as he threw Drew on the bed and straddled him.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Drew growled, working his arms to get away but not enough to throw Quinn off. There was anger in his eyes and a touch of fear. Concern. Pity. Quinn didn't want his fucking pity.

"You can't have him. I won't let you take him from me." Quinn felt the bubble burst in his chest, the misery overwhelming him. "You were with him today. I found your cum-soaked shirt. The way you looked at him tonight. I can tell."

Drew stopped struggling, his eyes going round, his mouth opened to say something but no words came out, just a sob. One that mirrored the one clogging Quinn's throat.

"I'm not going to take him away from you, Quinn." Drew relaxed his arms, letting them fall to the bed flanking his head. "I … yeah, we … I'm sorry, Quinn. It was stupid … necking that went too far."

"How far?" Quinn wanted to beat his face in, but the torment in his eyes stopped him.

"Not that far. Shit, I didn't fuck him, if that's what you're thinking." Drew just lay there looking pitiful. "I wanted to. I want to so badly I can taste it."

"You're in love with him?" Why hadn't he seen it before? Last night, the way Drew went easily into Nathan's arms, the way he touched him. Why didn't he see it then?

"I don't want to be. He loves you, and I love you enough to stay away from him. Damn it, Quinn, don't make me do this." Drew's voice cracked as he spoke, going to a whisper.

"Don't make you do what? I'm confused, I gave him to you last night, I wouldn't have if I'd known-"

"Do you remember that first night in the hospital?" Drew raised his hips, the heat that met him had him gasping. "Look at me, Quinn, that first night after Nathan-"

"Died, just say it. After he died and I started planning my own death. Jesus, Drew, I'd just buried my dad and the man I loved wasn't going to make it through the night, do you think I'd forget that night?"

"Really? Then tell me what you remember. After I got there."

Quinn stared down into his eyes. "Are you drunk?"

"What do you remember? It's not a hard question."

Quinn rolled off him and onto the bed beside him to stare at the flaking ceiling. He pretended not to smell the lust rolling off Drew. Searching his memory for that night. The night he never wanted to remember. "When we arrived at the hospital, he was barely hanging on, his heartbeat was so erratic they feared he'd go into cardiac arrest again. They thought I wasn't listening-"