"What are you doing?" Drew tried to pull away but Nathan wouldn't let him.
"Losing my fucking mind, apparently." He took one of Drew's hands and held it, just held it. "Thanks for that back there. I was ready to take that little prick apart. Sometimes, my temper … I used to be able to control it."
"What are we doing, Nathan? We can't do this." Drew closed his eyes and sighed, but he didn't pull his hand away.
"Too late now, don't you think?" Nathan hooked his other leg around Drew's waist and pulled him into his arms. "I'm dyslexic. It's why I hated school; it's torture not being able to read like everyone else. Mama caught it when I was in third grade. I went to special school programs, had tutors, everything a rich family could do to help me retrain my brain. It's why I didn't want to go to college. I was just damned tired of struggling to keep up, to keep it secret. Quinn knew, the teachers knew, the other kids didn't. I was given time in advance to prepare for reading assignments. Stuff like that."
"Why are you telling me this?" Drew set his hands on Nathan's shoulders. He stood stiffly letting Nathan touch his arms.
"Because it's worse now than it was then. The bash to the head messed with it. I'd gotten control, made it through college, through law school by the skin of my damned teeth. Took me eight years to get through law school. I just wanted to see if I could. I'm not stupid, but I struggle to read. So I don't read for pleasure. My reports, my paperwork, it takes me hours to do now. My real notes are a jumbled mess. When that prick Morgan asks for them tomorrow, it's going to end my career. And really, what the fuck? He thinks I'm a fucking serial killer."
"Disappear the notes," Drew suggested as if the thought had never occurred to Nathan.
"It's not that simple. I keep my notebooks in the file cabinet in my office. It's locked. But Morgan has made himself at home in my office." Nathan rested his forehead against Drew's shoulder. "Drew, I don't know if I can do this."
"Give me the key. I'll clear them out tonight after Morgan goes to dinner."
"You can't. I won't let you cover for me again." He stopped talking as a thought occurred to him. "Is that why you stopped calling Natalie? You were under investigation for what happened to me, weren't you?"
Drew sighed and nodded. "Not just for you. For not sharing Quinn's involvement or some of the gorier details of what I'd seen and suspected. Yeah. I took the federal job to distance myself from that time. From you. I'm falling in love with you, Nathan. I can't stop it. I can't stand having you touch me like this knowing I can't be with you. And Quinn, he'll kill me if he finds out." Drew pulled his hand away but Nathan caught it again. "Please, don't do this. I'm going tonight, or tomorrow morning. We can forget about last night."
"Can't forget. I haven't forgotten you in all these years. I didn't want last night. Quinn pushed it, but I don't regret it." Nathan couldn't help himself, he needed to touch him … to have him. "I want you-can't stop thinking about it-to taste you, to kiss you, to hold you."
"Quinn will kill me." Drew breathed heavily against his neck, his fingers tugged Nathan's hair, lightly skimming his back. His touch made Nathan shiver. "I want to know what it feels like to be with you."
"I want to feel you inside me. Quinn won't mind, baby, he's half in love with you himself. We're good. Shit, I can't without a condom." He ran his hands under Drew's shirt, he found the little gold rings and pulled gently.
"In my bag. I was hoping to meet someone last night. God, don't do that, I can't think when you do that." Drew tugged at Nathan's shirt, pulling it up inch by inch until he found skin. His fingers growing instantly desperate as he stroked Nathan. "I want to make love to you, Nathan. Since the first time I saw you."
"I know. Somehow, I suspected. It's what pissed me off about you. It wouldn't have worked. I was too messed up about my sexuality and Quinn. Now I'm messed up about you. Or just seriously messed up in general." Nathan groaned when Drew slid his hand into the back of his shorts. "Kiss me before I decide this is a bad idea."
Drew's lips were so soft without the metal in them, his breath sweet like cinnamon. The sounds he made deep in his throat vibrated through Nathan, all sense gone in a split second of insanity. He touched his feet to the ground and with a slight push, he stood in front of Drew, his body straining to touch. "So sweet, baby. Sweet baby," he mumbled against Drew's mouth, gasping as Drew's hands settled on his hips. He pulled him close, pressing them together until there was no room for even air to flow between them.