It was all too much to deal with. Drew was supposed to be long gone. Yet here he was on his way back, and Nathan was driving his damned car while he slept off a fuck. An incredible fuck.
Ah, shit. This wasn't supposed to be complicated. This was supposed to be a one-night stand. To get it out of his system and for Drew to get it out of his. He wasn't supposed to be watching him in the rearview and worrying about him falling asleep driving. He sure as hell wasn't supposed to be wanting to know what his dick tasted like, or worse, what it would feel like inside him.
At home, he pulled up close to the back stairs and between him and Quinn they managed to get Drew into the guest room. He wasn't much help in getting his shoes off, but Nathan had already stripped him once tonight. To do so again might just be his undoing.
He left Drew lying half on the bed, remembering to set the alarm for seven before he went down the hall to the rooms he shared with Quinn. Exhausted, he fell face first on the bed and was asleep before Quinn caught up with him. He heard a whispered, "I'm sorry," but didn't think anything of it. Because if he did, he'd realize that deep inside, he wasn't sorry.
Sometime after sunup, Nathan woke up alone. Exhausted and numb, he climbed out of bed and into a hot shower. He tried not to think about the night before, or how he would act when he saw Drew downstairs. Or at the office. God, how in the hell was he going to be able to work with the man now that he'd licked him all over his body?
Nathan dressed in cargo shorts, a t-shirt with a beach surf scene printed on the front, and a pair of running shoes. He left his gun and badge locked away in the closet and his hair down. He was on vacation, dammit. The first vacation he'd attempted to have in nearly two years. His official notes were precise; his reports pristine; his team of investigators and deputies were well versed in every minute detail of the investigation to date. There was no fucking reason for him to be here now.
Downstairs, he found Quinn sitting behind his laptop computer at the little table by the back window. The scent of coffee, strong and black, rose up to greet him.
"Morning," he said, stopping when Quinn's beautiful face gazed up at him. His eyes fairly sparkling in the morning sun. "Been up long?"
"About an hour. Drew left a little while ago. He looks like shit, but you look pretty good for only a couple of hours of sleep. One day, you're going to have to tell me how you do that." He left the computer behind and came around the island to wrap his arms around Nathan. The loose cotton pants he wore did very little to conceal his lithe body or the erection that wanted to make an appearance.
"One day," Nathan said. Turning in Quinn's arms, he rested his chin on his shoulder and just breathed in his scent. "Are we okay?"
"Yeah." Quinn half-laughed, his voice sounded stunned. "Why wouldn't we be okay?"
"Last night?" He hadn't meant to bring it up. He didn't like his insecurities jumping out like that.
"Last night was incredible, baby. We're good. Unless you're not?" Quinn sighed and tilted his head back, holding Nathan's face with his long fingers. "Baby, it's fine. We had a good time. Both of us. And Drew, well, you saw him. Fucked senseless comes to mind."
"I don't want to lose you, Quinn. I don't want to do anything to drive you away. Drew was-I don't know. I don't understand what that was." Nathan wrapped his arms around Quinn's waist; going lower, he slid his hands inside his pants and gripped his ass. Quinn's semi-aroused cock rose between them hard and demanding.
"Nate, you are not going to lose me. I'm here for the long haul. And you said it yourself last night: This thing with Drew is complicated. He's connected to you, to us, whether any of us like it. He was there through it all. He is the only reason either of us is here now. When you died … don't go all stiff, just hear me out this one time," Quinn said, holding his face tighter, forcing him to look at him. Nathan didn't want to talk about his death, brief as it was. "Those were the longest two minutes of my life. And in those two minutes, I made plans. Plans for Emma, for my money, for every little detail. I was going to hold it together long enough to write a will and make sure she was taken care of, and then I was going to do everything in my power to forget that I'd lost you. I didn't plan to stay around if you weren't here anymore. But you came back. You weren't whole, hell, they didn't expect you to make it through the night. There was no one there for me except Drew."
"I've always wondered, but I never asked." Nathan felt his heart thud in his chest. Dread and fear and sorrow all from that time came back to strangle him. "If you'd turned to him."