Cold Shadow (Cold Country #2)(24)

"I take it that wasn't planned?" Sitting up, Nathan ran shaking hands through his hair, this time pulling the elastic out entirely. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Drew turned to face him, his eyes going round when Nathan released his hair, the elastic lost somewhere on the floor. He could see it now, the naked longing, the same naked longing he'd seen several times over the last couple of days when Drew thought he wasn't looking. Now he knew what the man wanted. Him. "That I've been haunted by a pair of fucking silver eyes for the past two and half years, and not the pair it should be? That I actively lust for a man I can't have? What part of that do you need to know? Or when was I supposed to tell you? When you were dying? God, I hated Quinn's fucking guts then because he had you and I wanted you so badly I couldn't breathe."

"Oh," Nathan said quietly from the floor. None of this made sense to him, Straight-laced-by-the-book Agent Andrew Walker was lusting after him. "Shit." And Nathan wanted him too.

"Yeah … shit." Drew pulled the baseball cap off his head and tossed it on the desk that sat at an angle from the window. He ran his fingers through his hair, loosening the gel that held it slicked back. He hooked one of the hoops on his lip with his teeth and tugged it into his mouth. He looked everywhere but at Nathan.

Almost as if mesmerized by the way the man worried his lip, Nathan climbed to his feet. He meant to find the file folder he'd misplaced; he meant to pretend none of this had happened; he meant to get to the reason he needed to see Drew in the first place. But the words need and Drew got caught in his brain. The sight of Drew's tongue pushing at the hoop pushed Nathan over some ledge he didn't know he was standing on.

That Drew yelped when Nathan pushed him hard against the wall seemed to satisfy some deep-seated primal urge he didn't know existed. "What the fuck, Nathan?"

There was surprise in Drew's gaze when he looked at him, and fear mixed with lust. Nathan didn't know how to answer, he wanted to catch the metal hoop in his teeth. He wanted to be the one doing the tugging. He wanted to hear the man say his name. He wanted to bury himself deep inside him and live there. The sound he made when he caught Drew's bottom lip between his teeth couldn't have come from him. The strangled animal sound that echoed from Drew sent him reeling.

"I want you." Drew wrapped his arms around Nathan's neck, his mouth level with Nathan's, his body smaller, tight, muscular. Nathan tugged his shirts from his pants and moaned at the heated flesh he found there. 

"Me too." Oh, shit, what the hell was he saying? Nathan ignored the warning bells clanging in his head. He eased his hand behind the loose waistband of Drew's baggy jeans and under the boxers. Drew's quick inhalation became a moan as Nathan found heated flesh of a different kind. "You feel good."

Drew arched into his hand, his breath ragged as Nathan stroked him. His eyes glazed over when he tightened his grip, sliding along the length of him until Drew's hips rocked with him, looking for something. The words that escaped between whimpering moans weren't really words-pleas for more and God, mostly. Nathan smiled against his mouth, he could see Drew's orgasm building in his eyes, feel it in his hand. He caught a piercing and pulled it deep into his mouth, tormenting the flesh there, wishing he had his tongue bead in. He wanted to lick Drew all over, watch him go crazy from his mouth.

"Oh, shit, Nathan." Drew's hands twisted in Nathan's hair, his hips moved freely now as he found what he was searching for. "Oh, shit … fuck … fffuuuuhhkk." Nathan released his lip as Drew threw his head back, his dick pumping into Nathan's fist as he went over, coating his hand.

Feeling him tremble beneath him, Nathan pressed against him. He wanted to follow him over. He rubbed his zipper against Drew's hip, allowing the pressure to build. Drew's mouth on his neck encouraged him. "Come for me, baby? Shit, Nat-han, I … "

Cold slithered over Nathan's flesh, through his veins, gagging him with horror. The hot cum in his hand scalded him as shame came up to choke him. "Oh, God."

He pushed away from Drew, leaving him slumped against the wall. "I can't do this," he said between gasping breaths. "I can't …  I love Quinn."

"I know. I'm so sorry, Nathan, this was- I never meant for this. Shit." Drew's voice was soft, anguished. "I promised Natalie I wouldn't come between you and Quinn. I promised I'd forget about you. I'm so sorry."

Nathan wiped his hand in his pocket, he didn't know how to respond to that confession. The file folder lay on the floor near the door and he went to retrieve it hoping the distance would make this nightmare go away. He couldn't look at Drew. He leaned his forehead against the door, fighting the urge to slam something through it. "I came to tell you that we found another body this morning."